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Lance Carbuncle

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  • Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed | Lance Carbuncle

    Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed

    • UNABRIDGED (6 hrs and 39 mins)
    • By Lance Carbuncle
    • Narrated By Kailaan "The Soliloquy Man" Carter
    Overall
    (10)
    Performance
    (10)
    Story
    (10)

    Idjit Galoot has a problem. He escaped from his master's house for a brief romp around town, seeking out easy targets such as bitches in heat, fresh roadkill, and unguarded garbage cans. When he returns to his house, the aged basset hound discovers that his master has packed up their belongings and moved to Florida without him. Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed is the story of Idjit Galoot's ne'er-do-well owner and his efforts to work his way back to the dog that he loves.

    Megan Apicelli says: "Ridiculously funny"
  • Grundish and Askew | Lance Carbuncle

    Grundish and Askew

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 45 mins)
    • By Lance Carbuncle
    • Narrated By Brandon Paul Eells
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (16)
    Performance
    (16)
    Story
    (16)

    Strap on your athletic cup and grab a barf bag. The Dr. Reverend Lance Carbuncle is going to kick you square in the balls and send you on a wild ride that may or may not answer the following questions: What happens when two white trash, trailer park-dwelling, platonic life partners go on a moronic and misdirected crime spree? Can their manly love for each other endure when one of them suffers a psychological bitch-slap that renders him a homicidal maniac? Will a snaggletoothed teenage prostitute tear them apart?

    Matthew says: "Outstanding story!"
  • Sloughing Off the Rot | Lance Carbuncle

    Sloughing Off the Rot

    • UNABRIDGED (7 hrs and 41 mins)
    • By Lance Carbuncle
    • Narrated By Michael Vasicek
    • Whispersync for Voice-ready
    Overall
    (6)
    Performance
    (6)
    Story
    (6)

    John the Revelator awakens in a cave with no memory of his prior life. Guided along El Camino de la Muerte by a demented madman and a philosophical giant, John sets out on a quest to fill in his blank slate and slough off the rot of his soul. Part dark comedy road trip, part spiritual quest, and part horror story, Sloughing Off the Rot is literary alchemy about John's transformation from repugnant wretch to reluctant hero.

    Elizabeth Frey-Thomas says: "Very Clever"
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