I've got no choice but to warn you. Read further, the truth will be revealed and it will enslave you. You don't want to know how the Universe works. I don't care who you are or what you believe - Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Wiccan, Atheist, anything and everything. You're all wrong. The following is a story of my life after I got drafted by God to fight the minions of darkness. Jehovah of the Holy Bible exists and holy warriors are needed to defend us. If you're wise, you'll set this book down now and walk away.
"Friends don't let authors read their own books."
There are trials and tribulations that come from being a Paladin. Having aliens abduct and torture you is one of them, but every affliction comes with an opportunity. Aliens can travel through dimensions. I hijacked a saucer and escaped Earth to a dimension controlled by ancient Egyptian Gods. Finally, I am free of Jehovah. Finally, I can be my own man.
"Flawed, but fast and funny."
If you want to learn how to become a player, this audiobook isn't for you. To be a true player, you have to treat women like objects; you can't afford to care about their feelings. In other words - you have to be an asshole. There are enough assholes in the world; I don't need to add to their numbers. If you want to learn how to listen to women, how to become more caring and understanding - again - this audiobook isn't for you. I can only teach what I know and I don't know how to listen, care, or be empathetic.