Not since Moby-Dick.... No, not since Treasure Island.... Actually, not since Jonah and the Whale has there been a group of seafarers to rival The Pirates! and their leader, the greatest ocean-faring hero of all time, the immortal Pirate Captain, who, although he lives for months at a time on the bounding main, somehow manages to keep his beard silky and in good condition.
While visiting the shores of Lake Geneva to restore their spirits and their finances, the Pirate Captain and his crew encounter some surprising fellow adventurers, literary giants of their age: the swaggering Lord Byron, the oddly shifty Percy Shelley, and his smart, quite attractive fiancée, Mary. Together the poets and pirates embark upon a journey that leads from the curiously adventureless Switzerland into the darkest bowels of Oxford, and finally to the forbidding heart of eastern Europe. Amidst haunted castles and early feminism, the Pirate Captain will confront some important questions.
Worried that his pirates are growing bored with a life of winking at pretty native ladies, the Pirate Captain decides it's high time to spearhead an adventure. While searching for some major pirate booty, he mistakenly attacks the young Charles Darwin's Beagle and then leads his ragtag crew from the exotic Galapagos Islands to the fog-filled streets of Victorian London. There they encounter grisly murder, vanishing ladies, radioactive elephants, and the Holy Ghost himself. And that's not even the half of it.
Fresh from their mishaps with Charles Darwin and the evil Bishop of Oxford, the Pirates set sail in a bouncy new vessel - purchased on credit. In order to repay his debts, the Pirate Captain is determined to capture the enigmatic White Whale, hunted by the notoriously moody Ahab, who has promised a reward.Chaos ensues, featuring the lascivious Cutlass Liz, the world’s most dangerous mosquito, an excerpt from the Pirate Captain’s novel in progress (a bodice ripper, of course), whale ventriloquism, and more.
It is 1837, and for the luxuriantly bearded Pirate Captain and his rag-tag pirate crew, life on the high seas has gotten a little dull. With nothing to do but twiddle their hooks and lounge aimlessly on tropical beaches, the Captain decides it's time they had an adventure. A surprisingly successful boat raid leads them to the young Charles Darwin, in desperate need of their help. And so the pirates set forth for London in a bid to save the scientist from the evil machinations of a diabolical Bishop.