Billy Crystal is 65, and he's not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like ""Buying the Plot"" and ""Nodding Off,"" Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, and his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Listeners get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever ""test positive for Maalox""), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (""the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac""); grandparenting; and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal's reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.
The Lost Glider; Various Diner and Restaurant Bits; Leffingwell - Political Debate; Suicide Line; Recipe Corner; and more.
Celebrity Primal Screams Contest; Chit-Chat with Pat Nixon; No-Eyes, Blind Detective.
Remember Those Fabulous 20s?; Land A Million Game Show; Butter In Taxicabs; Wish Fulfillment Playhouse.
New Beatles Song; The Romance of King Creosote; Camera Club of the Air; The Ryan O'Neil Story; Craig Baker, Perfect Master.
The National Lampoon Radio Hour's Traditional Christmas Show, featuring: Christmas Around the World; Baby Jesus' Thank-You Notes; Senator Bobby's Christmas Party; Christmas in Northern Ireland; The Gift of the Nazi; Talking Animals; and more.
In this book, Billy Crystal, currently starring in the new TV show The Comedians as an aging comic, gives a hilarious and heartfelt account of what it's really like to get older. Billy Crystal is turning 65, and he’s not happy about it. With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt.
Peter Cook and Dudley Moore; God Watching a Boxing Match; Monopoly with Nixon; Joe Namath Put Out to Pasture; Count Dracula at the Dentist; and more.
National Lampoon Radio Hour's "The Missing Whitehouse Tapes", featuring: Humor Buffs for Nixon; Impeachment Day Parade; Mrs. Agnew's Diary; Big Dick (Sesame Street Parody); Mission: Impeachable; Swearing Out Ceremony; Whitehouse Basement Tapes; Nixon's Watergate Mea Culpa Speech.
Your Robbery of the Air; Old Man Atom; Great Jokes of History; Dial-a-Curse; The Loan Arranger; God Speaking; Einstein; and more.
Lava Lamp Repairman; National Humor Shortage Crisis; Ice Capades; Recipe Corner; Cavalcade of Non-Violent Sports; and more.
Louie, We Have You Surrounded; National Lampoon Radio Hour Call-In Show; Catch It and You Keep It.
Marijuana; Egyptian Archaeology; Ed's Big Date; Norman Fishbank, Pirate; The Ballad of Charles Whitman; The Mason Reese Institute; and more.
National Lampoon Radio Hour's "The Censorless Woman" featuring excerpts from "The Censorless Woman"; Interview with Don Corleone; Traffic Accident Play-by-Play; Robert Lamont, Building Climber; and more.