Showing results by author "Joe R. Lansdale" in All Categories

Ed Edwards is in the used-car business, a business built on adjusted odometers, extra-fine print, and the belief that "buyers better beware". Burdened by an aging, alcoholic mother constantly on his case to do something worthier of his lighter skin tone and dreaming of a brighter future for himself and his plucky little sister, Ed is ready to get out of the game. When Dave, his lazy, grease-stained boss at the eponymous dealership Smiling Dave's sends him to repossess a Cadillac, Ed finally gets the chance to escape his miserable life.

Minnie Polson is dead. Burned to a crisp in a fire so big and bad it had to be deliberate. The only thing worse is that Hap and Leonard could have prevented it. Maybe. Minnie had a feeling she was being targeted, shaken down by some shadowy force. However, when she’d solicited Hap & Leonard, all it took was one off color joke to turn her sour and she’d called them off the investigation. Wracked with a guilty conscience, the two PIs—along with Hap’s fleet-footed wife, Brett—tuck in to the case.

Hap and Leonard investigate a racially motivated murder that threatens to tear apart their East Texas town. While Hap, a former '60s activist and self-proclaimed white-trash rebel, is recovering from a life-threatening stab wound, Louise Elton comes into Hap and Leonard's PI office to tell him that the police have killed her son, Jamar.

That there is darkness at the heart of the Yuletide season should not surprise. Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol is filled with scenes that are unsettling. The hideous children - Want and Ignorance - beneath the robe of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. In the finest versions of this story, the best parts are the terrifying parts. Best-selling author and editor Christopher Golden shares his love for Christmas horror stories with this anthology of all-new short fiction from some of the most talented and original writers of horror today.

Jack Parker knows all too well how treacherous turn-of-the-century East Texas can be. His parents did not survive a smallpox epidemic. His grandfather was murdered. Now his sister Lula has been kidnapped by a criminal who may believe wearing a dead man's clothes protects them both from death. With bounty hunter Shorty, a charismatic and cunning dwarf, and Eustace, a gravedigging son of an ex-slave, the heartbroken young Jack sets off on an epic quest to rescue his sister from the corrupt men who control much of the new territory.

Peculiar weather settles over a bustling Texas sea port, a city made prosperous off the cotton trade and thick with racial inequality. The sky above Galveston, Texas, darkens to the sickly green of a healing bruise, the sea turns black, and the inhabitants of the city have no idea the force of the hammer about to drop on them. On September 8, 1900, a hurricane ripped apart Galveston, Texas, killing nearly 8,000 people and nearly obliterating the town. Lansdale's story brings dimension to many who lost their lives that day, and a few who survived.

Only Hap and Leonard would catch a cold case with hot cars, hot women, and ugly skinheads. The story starts simply enough when Hap, a former '60s activist and self-proclaimed white trash rebel, and Leonard, a tough black, gay Vietnam vet and Republican with an addiction to Dr. Pepper, are working a freelance surveillance job in East Texas. The uneventful stakeout is coming to an end when the pair witness a man abusing his dog.

It's 1933 in East Texas and the Depression lingers in the air like a slow-moving storm. When a young Harry Collins and his little sister stumble across the body of a black woman who has been savagely mutilated and left to die in the bottoms of the Sabine River, their small town is instantly charged with tension. When a second body turns up, this time of a white woman, there is little Harry can do from stopping his Klan neighbors from lynching an innocent black man.

Hap Collins, chicken plant guard, saves a young woman's life, and her father, owner of the chicken plant, rewards him with a large cash bonus. Hap and his best friend, Leonard Pine, head for a cruise to Mexico and the Caribbean. Not matching up to the exacting dress code of the on-board lobster restaurant, Leonard soon causes the pair to be abandoned in Mexico.

A comet, red and smiling with jagged teeth, flashes across the sky. People try to leave but find they are trapped by some acidic goo surrounding the entire drive-in. They grow hungry, homicidal, and suicidal. Then along comes the Popcorn King, a jiving, rhyming creature formed by blue-white lightning, with four arms and a popcorn bucket on its head.

If there’s one thing Hap Collins and Leonard Pine like, it’s trouble - and they especially like getting paid to find it. So when their friend and sometime boss Marvin Harmon asks the boys to look into a cold-case double homicide, they’re happy to oblige. It turns out that both victims were set to inherit some serious money, and one of them ran with an honest-to-goodness vampire cult. The more closely Hap and Leonard look over the crime-scene photos, the more trouble they see.

Throughout history and infinite dimensions, there exists a secret group of supernatural investigators operating on the fringes of society, lurking in the shadows, working strange cases with little reward. They are hardboiled zombies and ghosts, mythological creatures, ass-kicking vampires, tortured humans, and uncanny sleuths whose normal is the bizarre and weird.

Spanning over twenty years, 20 masters and modern authors of hardcore horror share their most bad-ass stories in this special edition from Red Room Press. Many hard to find and out of print, some that were banned, Necro Files covers every imaginable mode of mayhem with stories that dial into the dark side of human nature.

Even though a midlife crisis just crashed into Hap Collins like a runaway pickup, he's still got his job, he knows his best friend, Leonard Pine, will always be there for him, and, of course, he's got his main squeeze, Brett Sawyer. Things hit a new low, however, when Brett's daughter, Tillie, who's been walking on the wrong side of the law, suddenly stands in need of a rescue. It won't be easy - it never is - but nothing is going to stop Hap and Leonard as they hit the road destined for Hootie Hoot, Oklahoma.

Dead Aim marks the always welcome return of Joe R. Lansdale's most enduring fictional creations: Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. The story begins simply enough when the two agree to provide protection for a woman harassed by her violent, soon-to-be-ex-husband. But when a protracted stakeout ends in a lethal shooting and a pair of moldering corpses turn up in an otherwise deserted trailer, the nature of this "routine" assignment changes dramatically.

Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are best friends, yet they couldn't be more different. Hap is an east Texas white boy with a weakness for Texas women. Leonard is a black, gay Vietnam vet. Together, they stir up more commotion than a fire storm. But that's just the way they like it. So when as ex-flame of Hap's returns promising a huge score, Hap lets Leonard in on the scam, and that's when things get interesting.

Deadwood meets Cthulhu in this wild and profane Western romp featuring zombies, werewolves, evil spirits, and one pissed-off gunslinging preacher. The Wild West has never seen the likes of the Reverend Jebidiah Mercer, a hard man wielding a burning Bible in the battle between God and the devil, in an endless struggle he's not sure he cares who wins. With its five stories laced with fast-paced action, nonstop humor, and spine-tingling horror, Deadman's Road is your ride to hell....

Harry Wilkes is plagued by visions - images of murdered bodies and violent assaults - that are triggered by everyday noises. The smallest noise can trigger a vision of violence from the past; it doesn't matter how long ago it took place. Since childhood he's fought to suppress these visions, and he has changed his habits in order to avoid the nightmares. But when he rescues a drunk from a bar fight, he makes a life-long friend who will help him learn how to use his strange ability to his advantage

From the dusty Great Depression to the far future to the Wild West to the era of big-fin automobiles, soda shops, and double features, as well as dark journey on an icy ocean full of ravenous sharks and a fantastic shipwreck that leads its survivors into a nightmarish Lovecraftian world of monsters and mystery, Joe R. Lansdale returns with a pack of stories for your consumption and enjoyment.

When the Magic Wagon comes to town, folks get a genuine medicine show that includes a wrestling ape, fancy shooting, and a peek at the petrified body of Wild Bill Hickok himself. They also get bottles of a whiskey-laced elixir to drown their aches and pains. Old Albert drives the wagon, a raw-boned youngster named Buster Fogg does the odd jobs, and "champion" trick shooter and fast talker Billy Bob Daniels owns the show. Billy Bob claims to be the illegitimate son of Wild Bill himself.