Think you have a lot of pressure on your shoulders? Nick Gautier was born to bring about the end of the world.... It's not easy being the heir of a demon overlord. But in Invision, Nick is determined to thwart his destiny and get into a good college. To be more than his genetics and prophecy foretell. No one is ever going to tell this stubborn Cajun who and what he really is. Or how to live his life. Not even the Fates of the Universe.
""Meanwhile back at the ranch, ...""
The star of Parks and Recreation and author of the New York Times best seller Paddle Your Own Canoe returns with a second book that humorously highlights 21 figures from our nation's history, from her inception to present day - Nick's personal pantheon of "great Americans".
"Swagger and mirth"
Nick Mason has already spent five years inside a maximum security prison when an offer comes that will grant his release 20 years early. He accepts - but the deal comes with a terrible price. Now, back on the streets, Nick Mason has a new house, a new car, money to burn, and a beautiful roommate. He's returned to society, but he's still a prisoner. Whenever his cell phone rings, day or night, Nick must answer it and follow whatever order he is given.
"Superb Chicago Noir"
Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
"Like bacon for your ears"
Nick Gautier is tired of his destiny. He doesn’t want to be the son of a demon who’s fated to end the world. Nor does he want to see another demon or other preternatural creature who wants to kill or enslave him. He just wants to be normal and have normal problems like everyone else. But normality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
"We have now entered the Twilight Zone."
The chief justice of the Supreme Court is about to be defamed by a powerful gossip website called Slander Sheet, which specializes in dirt on celebs and politicians. Their top reporter has written an exposé claiming that the chief justice had liaisons with an escort, a young woman willing to appear on video and tell the world her salacious yet convincing tale. But the chief justice is not without formidable allies, and his greatest supporter is determined to stop the story in its tracks.
"good story overall"
At 14, Nick Gautier thinks he knows everything about the world around him. Streetwise, tough and savvy, his quick sarcasm is the stuff of legends - until the night when his best friends try to kill him. Saved by a mysterious warrior who has more fighting skills than Chuck Norris, Nick is sucked into the realm of the Dark-Hunters: immortal vampire slayers who risk everything to save humanity.
"Fantastic Prequel/Sequel to the Dark Hunter Series"
Nick Gautier’s day just keeps getting better and better. Yeah, he survived the zombie attacks, only to wake up and find himself enslaved to a world of shapeshifters and demons out to claim his soul. His new principal thinks he’s even more of a hoodlum than the last one, his coach is trying to recruit him to things he can’t even mention and the girl he’s not seeing, but is, has secrets that terrify him.
"Part 2 is a go."
We repelled the Swarm - for now. But they won't stop: They're inhuman. They have no inhibitions. No conscience. And no mercy. But from the crucible of battle has risen an unlikely hero. Captain Timothy Granger, at the helm of another time-tested battleship, will take the fight to the enemy. He'll discover their secrets. Find their homeworld. Destroy it before they destroy ours. He will save us all. He must. Or we'll die.
"Hard time following"
The year is 2650. Seventy-five years ago, an alien fleet attacked Earth. Without warning. Without mercy. We were not prepared. Hundreds of millions perished. Dozens of cities burned. We nearly lost everything. Then the aliens abruptly left. We rebuilt. We armed ourselves. We swore: never again. But the aliens never came back. Until now. With overwhelming force the aliens have returned, striking deep into our territory, sending Earth into a panic.
Nick Heller is tough, smart, and stubborn. And in his line of work, it's essential. Trained in the Special Forces, Nick is a high-powered intelligence investigator - exposing secrets that powerful people would rather keep hidden. He's a guy you don't want to mess with. He's also the man you call when you need a problem fixed. Desperate, with nowhere else to run, Nick's nephew, Gabe makes that call one night.
"Excellent weaving and unexpected"
Some say that in the city of Orlyn, godhood is on sale to the highest bidder. Thousands flock to the city each year, hoping for a chance at immortality. Lydia Hastings is a knowledge sorcerer, capable of extracting information from anything she touches. When she travels to Orlyn to validate the claims of the local faith, she discovers a conspiracy that could lead to a war between the world's three greatest powers. At the focal point is a prisoner who bears a striking resemblance to the long-missing leader of the pantheon she worships.
When siblings Dan and Hayley Daley inherit their late grandmother's derelict Victorian farmhouse, it seems like a dream come true. All they have to do is fix the place up and sell it for a tidy profit! Except - as anyone who has renovated an old house knows - things are never that easy. The walls are rapidly crumbling around them, the architect is a certified lunatic, the budget is spiraling...and then there's the disturbingly intelligent cow to worry about.
"Spalding Cracked Me Up Once Again!"
Go to school. Get good grades. Stay out of trouble. That’s the mandate for most kids. But Nick Gautier isn’t the average teenager. He’s a boy with a destiny not even he fully understands. And his first mandate is to stay alive while everyone, even his own father, tries to kill him. He’s learned to annihilate zombies and raise the dead, divination and clairvoyance, so why is learning to drive and keep a girlfriend so dang hard?
"YA Novel interesting enough for all Adults"
Joseph Finder introduced Nick Heller, a “private spy” who finds out things powerful people want to keep hidden, to widespread acclaim from the critics and wild enthusiasm from the readers, in the New York Times best-selling novel Vanished. Now, in Buried Secrets, Nick Heller returns, finding himself in the middle of a life-or-death situation that’s both high-profile and intensely personal.
"Entertaining and Riveting Listening"
You might think laziness, lack of willpower, and/or low motivation are to blame for the fact that you aren't achieving your goals. But fascinating research in the field of psychoneuroimmunology has revealed another, far more likely possibility. One with the potential to transform your life in a dramatic way.
United Earth burns. The Swarm runs rampant across our space. We mourn the loss of thousands of ships and millions of fallen comrades. Billions of fathers, mothers, sisters, and brothers - all gone, all dead. It is time we end this, for our moment has come. But victory never comes without sacrifice. Heroes are not taught nor trained but forged in blood and ashes. Our grandchildren's history books will tell our story and glorify the heroes and legends.
"Another great performance of a great story"
Following Stronghold's destruction, Rukh and Jessira lead the ragged remnants of the OutCastes on the long march to Ashoka. There they seek sanctuary for her people, but in order to do so they must overcome unyielding law that demands exile for all ghrinas. Meanwhile, Hal'El Wrestiva - exposed and reviled as the Withering Knife murderer - escapes from Ashoka and hatches one final scheme to resuscitate his soiled reputation.
"Great ending to a wonderful story."
Lieutenant Jacob Mercer likes fast motorcycles, faster women, and screamin' space fighters. As a reckless fighter jock in the Resistance fleet battling the Corsican Empire, he lives solely for the thrill of taking out as many Imperial bogeys as he can. A rebel victory is looming on the horizon when the Imperials abruptly change tactics and, in a surprising show of devastating force, incinerate the city of Dallas with a thermonuclear blast - killing millions - and delivering a merciless example of what happens to upstart worlds..
"100 of years in the future, in a galaxy nearby...."
Meet Zoe and Greg Milton, a married couple who have let themselves go a bit. Zoe was a stunner in her college days, but the intervening decades have added five stone, and removed most of her self-esteem. Greg's rugby-playing days are well and truly behind him, thanks to countless pints of beer and chicken curry. When Elise, a radio DJ and Zoe's best friend, tells them about a new competition, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn their lives around.
"I freakin loved this book!"