Showing results by author "Robert Kroese" in All Categories

A collection of humor and short fiction, including two never-before-published stories: "Mercury Returns" and "Disfavored: or, Tobalt’s Slightly Heroic Afternoon." Also includes: The Chemistrator: Drug City, U.S.A. When Animals Attack Holding Out for a Hero Mercury Swings Say Hello to Larry, the Leader of Your New Herd of Alpacas A Letter to Amazon.com from an 18-Month-Old The Chicolini Incident Unheralded Benefits of the U.S. Space Program Movie Review: 2012 Mercury Returns

Interstellar con man Rex Nihilo and his long-suffering robot sidekick Sasha are back, and they're neck-deep in their most outrageous scam yet: selling black market planets! As the pair's profits soar, they find themselves on the run from...well, pretty much everybody...when their antics draw the attention of an ancient intelligence determined to wipe humanity from the galaxy, they put their moneymaking plans on hold - and team up with their biggest rival - to save the galaxy once again.

Interstellar con man Rex Nihilo has a price tag on his head. Railroaded into smuggling a shipment of contraband corn to a planet short on food, Rex finds himself on the run from an insidious corporation named Ubiqorp, which reaps obscene profits by keeping the planet dependent on shipments of synthetic rations. When Rex and his long-suffering robot companion Sasha are sentenced to work as slave labor on a massive Ubiqorp plantation, they learn the terrible secret behind the corporation's products.

In the 23rd century, humanity has been hunted to the verge of extinction by an alien race. When an exploratory ship accidentally travels back in time to Viking-age Scandinavia, the human race is given a second chance. Pursued by the power-hungry King Harald, the four surviving crew members join a ragtag band of Vikings as they pillage their way across Europe. To save humanity, they must somehow return to the stars. Thus begins a decades-long effort to teach the Vikings to build a craft capable of reaching space - a ship that will come to be known as the Iron Dragon.

In medieval Europe, three explorers from the distant future begin an ambitious project: to build a craft capable of reaching the stars. While their leader oversees the construction of a secret underground base in Iceland, the other two travel thousands of miles to negotiate with the rulers of Europe and recruit the most brilliant minds of the age. When the Iceland base comes under attack, the travelers try to return to defend their home, but they are trapped in Paris just as an army of 20,000 Vikings lays siege to the city.

A space-faring ne’er-do-well with more bravado than brains, Rex Nihilo plies the known universe in a tireless quest for his own personal gain. But when he fleeces a wealthy weapons dealer in a high-stakes poker game, he ends up winning a worthless planet…and owing an outstanding debt more vast than space itself!

He was never meant to be a sorcerer. Unfortunately for everyone else, he’s the only one they’ve got. When an ordinary soldier named Konrad is mistaken for a powerful warlock, he finds himself branded—literally—with a magical sigil that grants him terrifying power... and paints a target on his back. Hunted by fanatics, stalked by demons, and manipulated by kings, Konrad must navigate a world of dark magic, ancient secrets, and political intrigue—all while pretending to be something he’s not. This complete collection includes all five books in The Counterfeit Sorcerer saga: The ...

Mankind's future among the stars now rests on a ragtag band of Vikings who have taken to the stars. The Norsemen's only hope is to ally with the mysterious people called Truscans, who possess the technology to defeat the aliens.

After interstellar con man Rex Nihilo hijacks a cargo freighter on a whim, he decides that he, and his long-suffering robot sidekick Sasha, have found their calling as space pirates. But when the ship's cargo turns out to be a cryogenically frozen religious fanatic who holds the secret to a vast galactic conspiracy, Rex and Sasha find themselves on the run from real pirates - as well as agents of the oppressive Malarchy, crazy space cultists, and the Ursa Minor mafia. If Rex is going to get out of this jam alive, he might just have to save the galaxy - again.

The Complete Mercury Series By Robert Kroese When a wisecracking angel with a checkered past gets put on divine probation, Earth becomes his proving ground—and humanity his unwitting straight man. This complete collection brings together all five books in Robert Kroese’s riotously irreverent Mercury series, a satirical blend of theology, action, and cosmic bureaucracy. Follow Mercury, a fallen (but technically not that fallen) angel with a penchant for bending the rules, as he stumbles through apocalyptic prophecies, celestial politics, and really bad ideas involving flamethrowers. ...

When the Apocalypse fails, what's a disgraced angel to do? Mercury—rogue cherub, cosmic bureaucrat, and reluctant hero—was this close to retirement when the end of the world didn't quite end. Now, with the dust barely settled from the last disaster, he finds himself inexplicably back on Earth… and things are even weirder than usual. While a demon in Ireland is mistaken for a bestselling author, a cynical reporter watches her career implode, and a mysterious government agency starts poking into supernatural affairs, Mercury is once again caught in the middle of a cosmic mess. From ...

Under arrest for crimes he hasn't yet committed, interstellar con man is given one chance to earn his freedom: he and his long-suffering robot sidekick Sasha must track down six fugitive androids who are determined to assassinate the Malarchian Primate!

A hooded man, his face marred by a mysterious black brand, walks the Plain of Savlos. Some say he has the power to summon demons. Others say he is the only one who can vanquish them. His name is Konrad, and he has a secret.... Once an ordinary soldier, his life was forever changed by a fateful meeting with a dying sorcerer. Now he is all that stands between civilization and the creeping evil of the shadow world.

Los Angeles of 2039 is a baffling and bifurcated place. After the Collapse of 2028, a vast section of LA, the Disincorporated Zone, was disowned by the civil authorities, and became essentially a third world country within the borders of the city. Navigating the boundaries between DZ and LA proper is a tricky task, and there's no one better suited than eccentric private investigator Erasmus Keane. When a valuable genetically altered sheep mysteriously goes missing from Esper Corporation's labs, Keane is the one they call. But while the erratic Keane and his more grounded partner, Blake ...

As US hegemony fails in the wake of an unprecedented economic crisis, wars erupt across the globe. Meanwhile, a small band of engineers and scientists work in secret on a mission to redirect an asteroid on a collision course with Earth.

The action-packed climax of the Iron Dragon saga! An ancient race of aliens threatens humanity with annihilation, and the only people who can stop them are a band of bloodthirsty Vikings. Recruited from Earth by one of the last survivors of the Iron Dragon project, Eric Bloodaxe and his horde battle machines and monsters across space and time on an epic voyage to Ragnarok!

Los Angeles, 2039. The Disincorporated Zone teeters on the brink of civil war, but for phenomenological inquisitor Erasmus Keane and his reluctant partner Blake Fowler, that’s just the beginning of their problems. A cryptic trickster has been leading them through a maze of riddles, each clue drawing them deeper into a conspiracy that reaches far beyond the DZ. As gang factions prepare for bloodshed and the city’s power brokers pull unseen strings, Keane and Fowler race against time to prevent an even greater catastrophe—one that threatens to unravel the fragile balance of power in LA ...

In a land where dragons are a historical footnote and theology is a contact sport, a hapless missionary named Wyngalf embarks on a divine mission with the enthusiasm of a zealot and the competence of a beached fish. Armed with the teachings of the obscure Noninitarian faith—devoted to a God with nine conflicting personalities—Wyngalf sets out to bring enlightenment to the mysterious land of Dis. What begins as a fool’s errand quickly spirals into an epic misadventure involving pirates, monsters, incoherent prophecies, and a girl who really should know better. Between a dragon who has ...

Ninth century Iceland. Three explorers from the far future have a daunting mission: To save humanity, they must build a craft capable of reaching the stars. The Voyage of The Iron Dragon is the concluding book in The Iron Dragon trilogy. The Iron Dragon trilogy is being produced as part of the phenomenally successful saga of The Iron Dragon Kickstarter, which raised over $10,000. Meticulously researched and packed with action, The Dream of The Iron Dragon is a must for sci-fi and alternate history fans.

After a lowly software tester named Suzy Cilbrith uncovers evidence of a vast government conspiracy, she turns to a fringe reporter named Eddie Pratt for help. Far from dismissing her wild claims, Eddie reveals that things are even worse than they appear: the US government has been infiltrated by angels, who are attempting to bring about Heaven on Earth - no matter the cost.