Showing results by narrator "Christopher John Fetherolf" in All Categories

Get ready for the final FOUR novels of the sidesplitting Tome of Bill series – over 50 hours of laugh-out-loud horror comedy. Despite everything he’s experienced, gamer turned vampire Bill Ryder would rather still roll initiative with his friends than take this supernatural shit seriously. Too bad that’s an attitude the ancient horrors threatening the world don’t particularly appreciate.

My name's Bill Ryder and I have no life, but not because I enjoy video games or D&D. I literally have no heartbeat thanks to the night I met Sally. She was too good to be true, a woman to die for. So I did, bleeding out with my throat torn open. Problem is, I didn't stay dead. Now I'm a vampire, surrounded by other vamps who are stronger and faster – not to mention better looking. It's enough to give a guy a complex. Worse, their leader, a douche called Night Razor, can't stand me.

Book three in Joe Nobody's popular series continues the saga of Bishop and Terri, as their post-apocalyptic world attempts to recover. Caught up in a power struggle to lead the recovery, the young couple are drawn away from their West Texas retreat and must use all of their skills to survive. The year is 2015 and the government of the United States has all but ceased to exist. The military controls some of the larger cities, but its loyalties are divided between the President of the United States and a new, growing organization called The Independents.

My name’s Bill Ryder and five years ago I saved the world, banishing magic and monsters to the shadows. Not bad for a game programmer from New York. Anyway, I thought it was over, that I was done with all that supernatural crap. Too bad shit's about to get surreal again. Now the impossible has happened. My goddaughter is conjuring fireballs from thin air and two vampires have shown up at my doorstep looking to kick my ass.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being a legendary creature of the night, I’m not having the best of days. My girlfriend is trapped in another dimension, my apartment’s being staked out by werewolves, and to top it all off I’m flat freaking broke. Too bad there’s no rest for the wicked. Monstrous beasts of biblical proportions have been unleashed upon the world, leaving me with a mighty big question. How the hell is one poor-ass vamp supposed to stop something the size of a battleship?

Ed Vesser feels trapped by his life - literally. He’s being held prisoner by a would-be world conqueror. All he wants is to escape back to his fiancé, assuming she doesn’t dump his ass when she finds out he’s a vampire. Serena Taylor’s a witch with a knack for technomancy - using her magic to help deliver unreal profit margins. Too bad she’ll need to put in some overtime thanks to long-lost dryads and undead goons breathing down her neck.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, oddly enough, my lack of heartbeat is probably the least concerning thing in my life. My witch girlfriend has been marked for death by a vampire temptress who wants me for herself. With both sides spoiling for a fight, the chances of them talking out their problems over lunch are slim. While I’d love to help smooth things over, I’ve been way too distracted dealing with evil leprechauns and redneck werewolves.

My name’s Bill Ryder and I’m having a hell of a week. Magic is back, my new roommate is a blob of yellow snot, and my friend Sally has been entombed alive in solid rock. Oh, and I’m dead again, or undead anyway. Life’s not quite finished taking a dump on me yet, because now something is hunting vampires in New York City. A smarmy-ass wizard has been called in to investigate – one who’s got a closet full of skeletons and eyes for my girlfriend.

Gamer, geek, and vampire – Bill Ryder was a normal guy who's now trying to survive in a world of abnormal horrors. Despite awesome powers and a Brooklyn-sized attitude, the odds are stacked heavily against him. Bill must fulfill his destiny and save the world from the ancient terrors threatening it – all while trying to build some semblance of a social life.

When her nest is destroyed and her forever mate slaughtered, Zephyr Ignitus, the last of an ancient breed of fire-breathing dragon, gathers together a team of saber-toothed panthers, woolly mammoths, and a crew of howler monkeys brandishing swords and weapons stolen from the ships of men, all to hunt down and scorch the evil beast-killing wizard that did her wrong.

Before he was trying to save the world, he just wanted to save his own ass. Bill Ryder has a problem: the vampires under his rule don't respect him. Unfortunately, in the world of the supernatural, that makes him as good as dead.

A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That's a lot of crap to heap on anyone's plate, much less a former programmer from Brooklyn. But that's exactly what Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire - has to deal with. Half his friends are missing and those who are left are mired in chaos. Sadly, Armageddon isn't about to give them a breather. The White Mother, queen of the witches, is amassing her forces to exterminate all who stand in her way.

My name’s Bill Ryder and, despite being undead, I program games for a living. That means I’m mostly content to stay at home, do my job, and not go on stupid adventures. Or at least that was the case. Now, a war is brewing between ancient enemies from the dawn of time. If it can’t be stopped, the veil will be lifted and all of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be unleashed to wreak havoc. That's where I come in.

My name's Bill Ryder and six months ago I died. However, as you’ve probably already guessed, I didn't stay dead. No, I woke up a vampire, freshly recruited into a coven of immortal assholes. I thought I'd earned a break after defeating our former master, with maybe a tiny bit of help from my friends, but no such luck.

My name’s Bill Ryder and three months ago I was utterly consumed by the evil within me. Now I’m back, having awakened halfway across the globe and with no clue as to how I got here. The only thing I’m certain of is my captors don’t care how much blood they spill so long as they recruit me to their insane cause.

Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. It's time for the gamer, geek, and legendary vampire to embrace his fate. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he's destined to face. It's his only chance of stopping Armageddon.

My name is Bill Ryder. With Armageddon rapidly approaching you’d think I’d have my priorities straight, but you’d be wrong. Sidelined from action and with too much time on my hands, I’m stuck obsessing about the ladies in my life, lethal as most of them might be. Too bad it’s a distraction I can ill afford. An unstoppable terror from the dawn of time has awoken deep beneath the Earth and it’s headed my way. To make matters worse, I’ve been deemed a traitor by the Draculas, the ruling coven of the vampire nation.

My name’s Bill Ryder and my cold dead heart is all aflutter, metaphorically speaking anyway. See, the girl I want is deadly to me. But the girl who wants me is deadly to everyone else. I’m trapped in a lethal love triangle and it’s about to get worse. On the eve of war, The Icon – prophesized slayer of the vampire race – has appeared. Panic is about to break out within the ranks of the undead and I’m caught smack dab in the middle of it. She and I are locked in a cataclysmic collision course with destiny, but there’s one small catch.

For fans of Stephen King, David Gerrold, and Richard Matheson, picture this: The world is being eaten by monsters and there's nothing you can do about it.

It's a nice house on a country road. Jack and Erika Harris expect to be happy there. It doesn't matter that they're living in a deserted suburb where, years ago, murders and mutilations destroyed the residents. It doesn't matter...until those that caused the deaths come back - those that sprang from the earth. Those that need. Those that are not human. The Harris's nice house stands between them and what they must have. Nothing has ever mattered more.