Showing results by narrator "Jonathan Sleep" in All Categories

The stars have cursed us all. After the devastating events at Zodiac Academy, we have to deal with this hollow reality we're faced with. Lionel seeks to destroy us, the Nymphs seek to destroy the entire Fae race, and between all of it, we have to try and survive each day and prove our worth in this forsaken place. I'm afraid of everything falling apart, but it looks like it already has. Death lurks around every corner, and it wants to claim me and my sister. But together, we will overcome the darkness that seeks to defeat us.

Having established leverage over Mordred and influence in the Cardinian government, Tim is ready to move forward with the next phase of his plan. But Mordred has an ace up his sleeve that could shift the balance of power back in his favor. Cooper and Nabi attempt to reunite with the rest of the gang. Stacy and Dave are forced to put their differences aside and work together to avoid capture and execution. Julian tries to find something productive to do while Chaz goes a little too far with the rockstar lifestyle. Katherine is done taking shit from old foes.

Alone in a frontier town in the nineteenth-century Pacific Northwest, Gentle Montgomery is grieving his best friend. Liam was an alchemist, killed when he tried to capture a creature that shouldn’t exist: a giant salamander that drives men mad. When Gentle’s nephew, Kitt, arrives at his doorstep, the two set out together to track the monster down so they can use its blood in an alchemical formula that will bring Liam back to life.

Ki, a member of a nomadic tribe, has figured out how to plant seeds to grow food and invented a dart-thrower, a new weapon that can kill from a distance. Labeled a witch, her sister is the only person who appreciates her genius. That is until Magog, a vicious warrior tribe, attacks, killing her entire family and enslaving her people. The Magog leader discovers Ki’s talent and takes her prisoner, wanting to exploit her knowledge for his own gains.

The adventure continues. Tim and the C and C gang face their most difficult challenges yet. Horses die. Eyeballs are eaten. People are urinated on. A god is born.

After Katmere, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. Including the existence of a world beyond my world called the Shadow Realm. Yet here I am, stuck in a strange, dangerous place with the worst of the supernaturals, the monster that other monsters fear: Hudson Vega. He might be Jaxon’s brother and ridiculously hot, but he’s a complete bona fide pain in my ass. The question is whether we’ll find a way out before I kill him…or run out of time.

The Boss of the Shadow District has fallen, and the Clans who seized power aren't happy—especially those whose interests I inadvertently disrupted. Now the list of people who want me dead has grown, with a second offended Grand Prince joining the first. But will that be enough to stop the rising Paladin of Darkness? Well, let them try.

This is a collection of short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "They Fight Three Giants", "From the Bowels of Hell Hounds", "Tossing the Salaad", "The Fuccubus", "Fistin' the Furious", and "Pixie Dicks".

Christmas has served as a fertile background for mystery fiction for a very long time, perhaps because it has the appearance of a time of peace and love while being so deeply at odds with violence, crime, and even murder. Many of the stories in this anthology have been written by some of the greatest Golden Age authors, undoubtedly inspired by the juxtaposition of the disparate elements of love and hate.

Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.

After being scattered across the globe, our heroes seek to reunite with each other. But the consequences of recent events continue to plague them. Cooper enters the Fertile Desert, in search of Nabi. Katherine seeks to escape, and take back her ship. Julian tries to placate Akane, while keeping Chaz out of trouble. Stacy vows revenge on the ettins, who continue their destructive rampage in the Cedar Wilds. Dave sets his sights on power and wealth. And Tim....What the hell is Tim up to? Meanwhile, Mordred's army of brainwashed Knights spread ever farther, in their search for his dice.

I was once a mighty Paladin of Darkness, mother of all the Elements. The one and only of my kind. Some called me the chosen one, a savior destined to rescue the world; others insisted I would be its downfall. I never got the chance to discover who was right. Society conspired with the traitors to trap me in the deadly Element of Time. But a year later, I managed to break free . . . wait, how has it been 700 years?

This is a collection of the eighth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: This Poo Shall Pass, Hung Ogre, Fortune Favors the Kobold, Asses to Asses, Love on the Rocs, and The Winds of Cooper. If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

Finding themselves permanently stuck in this strange new world, the gang tries to make the best of it by finding the nearest tavern and getting shitfaced. The plan goes just fine until they lose Katherine and Chaz.

This is a collection of the second six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series.

Were dinosaurs really dumber than lizards? Why, after all, are roughly the same number of men and women born into the world? What led the famous Dr. Down to his theory of mongolism, and its racist residue? What do the panda's magical "thumb" and the sea turtle's perilous migration tell us about imperfections that prove the evolutionary rule? The wonders and mysteries of evolutionary biology are elegantly explored in these and other essays by the celebrated natural history writer Stephen Jay Gould.

This is a collection of the first six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes "Cave of the Kobolds"; "Zombie Attack"; "Orcs, Bears, and Assholes"; "Shipfaced"; "Dungeon Crawl"; and "The Creep on the Borderlands".

This is a collection of the ninth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Look Before You Leak, Bred Dwarf, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Alcoholic Gnome, Don't Get Too Athached, Fool's Gold, and Kiss My Cloaca.

This is a collection of the fourth six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series.

This is a collection of six short stories from the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following stories: "Slimes and Misty Wieners", "Great Balls on Fire", "Your Anus Is a Gas Giant", "Clear and Present Ranger", "The Mimic's Chest", and "Styxian Stoners May Break My Boners".