If clothes make the man, then what do Jaine Austen's elastic-waist pants and T-shirts make her? A fashion nightmare, according to her neighbor, Lance. She doesn't expect Lance - who works in the designer shoe department at Nieman Marcus - to understand...which is how she ends up visiting his favorite boutique, Passions. While the couture is definitely not for Jaine, the staff's gossip is. Tiny orange-haired clerk Becky starts complaining about her co-worker Giselle - a.k.a. "Frenchie" - a brittle blonde who, when she's not making fun of customers behind their backs, adds extra-marital notches to her Chanel belt.
"Entertaining and Funny"
Wordsmith Jaine Austen's ship has finally come in. Her new teaching gig on a fancy cruise line nabs her a free vacation--and access to a 24-hour buffet! But sooner than you can say "bon voyage," Jaine's all-expenses-paid trip to the Mexican Riviera seems destined to be a wreck… Jaine's sinking sensation grows stronger at dinner, where she meets chatty Emily Pritchard, a wealthy seventy-year-old who's traveling with her two nephews.
"A great read"
Without a job or a date in sight, freelance writer Jaine Austen is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the invite. They've barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny, who is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper.When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv's new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soire. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion and before the evening is over, someone poisons Bunny.
"Funny and entertaining"
On the frontlines of the battle of the bulge, otherwise known as trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann's, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend - a wannabe actress named Pam - and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam's bare-bones resume.
Jaine has been hired by uber-pushy stage mom Heather Van Sant to write lyrics for her daughter Taylor's song in the talent competition for the Miss Teen Queen America pageant. It's different from anything Jaine has done before, but if nothing else, she's looking forward to a free weekend in a swanky hotel and a chance to see what really goes on backstage at a beauty pageant. But the hotel is a dump, the cattiness is out of control, and Candace - the perfectly coiffed, whip-cracking pageant director - is making even Jaine's life miserable.
"Give Jaine a break"
Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to evoke Romeo and Juliet…except without the "downer" of an ending.
"Another great Jaine book"
Smarmy personals ads. Daring declarations of love. Writer-for-hire Jaine Austen has penned them all. But when one of the love connections she made is broken up by murder, Jaine finds herself freelancing free-of-charge - and uncovering more than she bargained for…No one seems to need her help more than geeky, gawky Howard Murdoch. His request is simple enough: a letter proclaiming his undying love for Stacy Lawrence, a gorgeous aerobics instructor.
"Funny and Entertaining"
Freelance writer Jaine Austen has never been able to resist the siren call of an Eskimo Pie, just like she can't resist renewing her romance with Andrew, an old crush. With her bank account hitting new lows, she's also just agreed to write jokes for Dorcas, a stand-up comic who throws her pantyhose into the audience as a punch line. Not only is Dorcas' act a bomb, she is heckled by Vic, a gorgeous fellow comic. Naturally when Vic is murdered with Dorcas' pantyhose and that same Dorcas is standing over his dead body, the police arrest...Dorcas.
Tis the season for trimming the tree, caroling, baking cookies, and curling up by the Yuletide waiting for Santa to drop down the chimney. But in this festive collection of holiday whodunits, murder is also paying a visit.
Elena MacFarland wonders what everyone else knows about her new farm that she doesn't, and whether she'll live long enough to find out. Betrayed by her fiancé and the powerful Worthington family, Elena fights back and negotiates a comfortable settlement with one small caveat: she must live in Scotland for two years. One kidnapping and two attempts on her life later, the darkly arrogant Scot, Faolan MacGailtry declares himself her new protector and moves into her farmhouse. Major problem?
"Please, help, I had to fast forward and then stop!"
Jaine still hasn't found a good man - or a way to keep all those sugary snacks from going straight to her hips. But - with a little help from her best friend Kandi - she's finally landed a gig as a sitcom writer! True, Muffy 'n Me (aka "Bewitched with Tits") isn't going to win any Emmys. And her office at Miracle Studios needs a little sprucing up, and a few dozen rat traps. But it sure beats writing boring brochures and bad resumes, so Jaine's not complaining. Until the plot thickens - with murder....
Waking up next to a dead woman was a good indication that Dr. Gabhran MacLachlan was in bigger trouble than he'd realized. Recognizing this as another trap set by the dark Druid Master, Gav races from Edinburgh to New Orleans to find Alysone, a mental patient who claims to have awakened in a reality that isn't hers. Her story, so close to his own, may be the necessary key to unlock his Druid memories and prevent him from shifting realities once again.
"HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO FINISH"
Love is in the air as freelance writer Jaine Austen begins a new job at the Dates of Joy matchmaking service--but between juggling her boss's demands, deflecting theadvances of an eccentric suitor, and tracking down a calculating killer, she hardly has time to think about romance. . .
"Humorous and very enjoyable cozy"
When freelance writer Jaine Austen is surprised with an ber-luxe spa getaway, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But what she gets is a California fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs.Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies.
When Jaine Austen's beloved cat Prozac unwittingly scares to death a parakeet belonging to the neighborhood's resident curmudgeon, Jaine finds herself knee-deep in toil and trouble. The cantankerous Hollywood has-been once played television's fourth most famous monster mom. Now she spends her days making enemies with everyone on the block. So when the ornery D-lister is murdered with her own Do Not Trespass sign on Halloween, the neighborhood fills with relief - and possible culprits.
"At Last! Jaine Austen on Audible"
In this batch of sweet, short murder mysteries, three cooks don’t spoil the broth. New York Times best-selling author Joanne Fluke pens the title story, in which a box of Hannah Swensen’s gingerbread cookies is found near the corpse of her neighbor. Popular co-authors Laura Levine and Leslie Meier offer “The Dangers of Gingerbread Cookies” and “Gingerbread Cookies and Gunshots”, respectively.
"GingerBread Cookie Murder"
A gal with a serious Ben & Jerry's habit can't afford to be too picky about employment opportunities. So when Beverly Hills socialite SueEllen Kingsley offers freelance writer Jaine Austen megabucks to ghostwrite a book of hostess tips, it's time to sharpen the #2s. But everything short circuits when Jaine finds SueEllen floating face down in her tub, fried by her own blow dryer.
It seems Jaine's life couldn't get any better - until her cat, Prozac, is tapped to star in a Skinny Kitty commercial. But Jaine never would have guessed the world of cat food could be quite so catty. Jaine is nervous that Prozac won't be able to take direction, but the finicky furball ditches her diva behavior for the camera, eating and napping on cue like a seasoned pro. But just as Jaine begins dreaming of fame and fortune, Skinny Kitty's inventor drops dead on the set. Everyone is a suspect - including Jaine.
Although Professor Andi Cunningham knows Druidry and magick are real, her dream to recreate a twelfth century Scottish castle is destroyed when the Druid who claimed her heart wards her from the land. Now Andi's deeply hidden Druid powers have been awakened by her new husband, Liam - Ian's descendant and the son of the Master of the Bresal Etarlam, who wants her untapped power as his own.
"Best series of Books"
Using the spell of time shifting, Alexander MacLachlan says good-bye to his beloved brother, his brother's wife, and his own darling Alysone--necessary sacrifices for the survival of Druidry. With his family far in the future preparing for battle, Alex must fulfill his destiny: find the Worthington heir and then kill and be killed.