• My Ex-Gay Past & Current "Queer Joy" Became One In An Unexpected Way

  • Oct 14 2023
  • Length: 14 mins
  • Podcast
My Ex-Gay Past & Current "Queer Joy" Became One In An Unexpected Way  By  cover art

My Ex-Gay Past & Current "Queer Joy" Became One In An Unexpected Way

  • Summary

  • Yesterday I was sitting in the hot tub messaging/texting friends and a small dragonfly flew in and perched on top of my iPhone. He would fly off and come right back off and on for several minutes. So I asked the Universe,” Universe, what are you trying to say to me?” So I messaged Martina and she said to google it, lol. So, I looked up the symbolism of the dragonfly and got:“The Dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life.  This symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living in the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment, you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t, and to make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis.  The eyes of the Dragonfly symbolize the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self.  Dragonflies can be a symbol of self that comes with maturity. They can symbolize going past self-created illusions that limit our growth and ability to change.The Dragonfly has been a symbol of happiness, new beginnings, and change for many centuries.  The Dragonfly means hope, change, and love.”Kinda perfect. And, along those lines… I have an experience to share.An experience about how two BIG compartmentalized aspects of my life came together as one at a recent conference. I also made a deeper realization that owning both of those aspects as one, in the moment, is not something to be feared. I never hid my past religious activities or beliefs at work. They all know who I was and the person I now truly am. I just really tried to not talk about it too long at work because “I” was still ashamed of myself. Plus, I am there to do a specific job and all that :), not share war stories.This recent experience reaffirmed a lesson I have been learning through the memoir writing/editing/publishing process. I am one soul on one journey. I will own all of who I was and am. I will always own the moment I inhabit with the wealth of experiences that brought me to that very moment.To Begin…If you had told me ten years ago, I would be at a work-sponsored event where over four thousand LGBTQ+ professionals gathered in person at a Disney World, two thousand more virtually, to discuss how to increase visibility in the workplace…I would have blinked three times and said… huh? Who? Me? … nope NOpe noPE NOPE!Yet there I was with some colleagues a few weeks ago representing our company at the biggest conference I have ever attended; the Out & Equal 2023 Workplace Summit.And every major company was a sponsor. Well, every one of them that I like anyway. Even Cracker Barrel was there!Along with amazing keynote speakers like Laverne Cox, Netta, Brandon Wolf, Alok, and many others, we also got to hear from O&E’s CEO, Erin Uritus. I respect Erin’s passion, vision, and leadership. During the conference, I loved going to the workshops on how to better develop corporate BRGs (business resource groups), special panels on activism and its history, amazing trans speakers, resources, panels, and representation. There were interviews with authors and a whole panel of NBC lgbtq+ reporters having a great discussion on their experience as queer reporters. During the day I enjoyed wonderful conversations with my colleagues on how, what, why, and when to do certain efforts and projects where we work.I’ve said a lot over the past few years that now that I know better, I want to do better; I used to use my superpowers for evil and I want to use them for good.I did at this conference, and it felt GREAT! I felt a skillset I hadn’t fully used in a decade get passionately engaged and it was electrifying.Plus, after the day’s activity, we had SO much fun over drinks, dinner, and laughter. One night we went to the Animal Kingdom and went on the 3D screechy Avatar ride (I was the one screaming/narrating through the whole thing), swam in beautiful pools, and even floated around a lazy river at one of them. My colleagues are hilarious. Some of us adopted names: One of them is Momma, I am Auntie, another is Gampy, and yet another is Blanche! LolSo not only was it of great benefit professionally, but I also felt included in the community in a way I never felt to this extent before. I never knew this level of professional fulfillment, as an openly gay man, could exist for me. I am glad I found this job, worked hard, and earned my way into this world; it’s a good fit.Along with all of that, I had quite a few deep conversations with a new work friend, Michael Galluccio. He and his husband Jon made history in the United States as the first gay couple to legally adopt their children as a couple.  They paved the way in New Jersey for gay couples to adopt their children jointly just like any other straight couple has been able to do without question since people began adopting children. Their historic precedent would soon spread to...
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