This time last year, there was a lot of uncertainty.  We won’t go into details, but if you don’t remember, good for you!

And here we are at Thanksgiving again. 

Decades ago, G. K. Chesterton wrote,  “You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.”

We say grace – or thank you -- to you who read our blogs, attend our webinars, share our posts and tweets and support us financially.  We relish the comments on Facebook or by email and love the ideas and suggestions you send our way.   Alive ‘n Well is thrive ‘n weller with you and we thank you!

And we couldn’t be more grateful to the many who have purchased our new book, “Class is (Always) In Session.”  If you haven’t already, the link to do so is included in this post.

Our sincere desire for you is that when you sit down this Thanksgiving—whether alone or with many—at a sumptuous feast or merely leftovers—you are filled with a gratitude that transcends food, football or any feelings, really.  We hope you are mindful of the gift of your unique presence in this world; that you matter.

As we began with a quote, so we end.  This from Thornton Wilder:  “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

Have a graceful Thanksgiving and may your hearts and minds be full of the many treasures of life!

My brother Jim used to travel by plane for his work a lot more than he does now.  And for a while, so did I.  In an amazing coincidence, once he called me while we were both inside the Twin Cities airport in Minnesota- he was leaving and I was arriving.  No time to meet, but we laughed at the irony -closer than a mile and yet connected only by phone.

The other night, my niece gave us a concert via Zoom.  Probably 1400 miles away and connected by smiles and sounds. 

Two people can live in the same house or sit in the same pew in Church and the distance can be felt more than a mechanical kiss or perfunctory sign of peace.

Alice and I recently watched a documentary of a woman who was raised in the Arctic, went back again in her 20s and then again in her 50s.  She told lessons of survival, simplicity, gratitude and strength.  And then I read an article in the Times about a 37-year-old woman diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer rejecting the idea of a bucket list.  She just wanted to enjoy living and loving and experiencing life as she could.

What do airports have to do with the Arctic and technology with terminal illness?  It’s about being awake, aware, alive and in touch with what is going on now- certainly outside of me (what I can change) but most acutely that truth that is deep within.  Nothing is as close to us as the true self that so wonderfully bugs us to live in freedom and joy.

I heard it said that failure is simply early attempts at success. It’s important to realize that what we learn from our failures can be important stepping stones. Listen to some of the experts: "No pressure, no diamonds." -Mary Case "I have not failed; I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work."  -Thomas Edison "Failure is just the opportunity to begin again; this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford "It's not that I'm so smart; I just stay with the problems longer." -Albert Einstein "When you are going through hell... keep going!" -Winston Churchill '

When we train ourselves to look at "failures" as learning experiences and course corrections, obstacles become teachers and setbacks are part of the curriculum.  Einstein said, "If I only have an hour to solve a problem, I will spend 55 minutes asking the right question and then 5 minutes solving the problem." So what's the question you need to ask at this moment?  What can get you from the life you are living now to the life you know you want to live?  Do the "gremlins" taunt you that you can't or do you allow the mind monkeys to rattle your mental cage with negativity? What's the best version of your life?  Are you living it now?  Why not?

This last Wednesday of August is a golden opportunity for us to take inventory of what’s going on in our life and where we’re headed (perhaps you've heard that "if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there"). Last year I read A Year to Live by Stephen Levine (Bell Tower, 1997). Having been a hospice worker for many years, he accompanied the dying and knows the territory surrounding the last days of people's lives.  And so he embarked on a year-long experiment to "practice dying as the highest form of wisdom" (Socrates) and shared how such conscious living forces us to examine our priorities. Regarding the subject of near-death occurrences, he writes: Most who returned from such an experience came back with three very precious insights: an increased appreciation of life, a diminished fear of death, and a new sense of purpose (p. 123). So as we end August, imagine how you want this month to end and perhaps a new version of your life to begin.

When my wife and I began to make our home together, we went through the collective stuff we brought along. Alice's mother had passed away not long before and we had her stuff in a closet-  old cookbooks, quilter's magazines, postcards and meticulously detailed financial records.  Then we saw a box that was labeled "old negatives."  I knew what they were- those strips of celluloid that accompanied photos the store developed for you (remember that we actually had to wait a week to have our Kodak moments processed?). But I got to thinking- how many "old negatives" do we carry around? Moments in time that stand still:  being bullied in 4th grade, overlooked by family when we did something extraordinary, decades-old disagreements... so many snarled snapshots of the past when an argument, break-up or accusation was transferred onto our mind's canvas... and whenever a thought, memory, smell or emotion brings it up, the curtains open and the drama is re-played.

THERE'S A DIFFERENT WAY TO LIVE. 

What if we learned to cultivate "new positives"?  Imagine if we had a mantra for tough days that went something like, "This is only how my life looks like now..."  Is it possible for you to think forward, have a future memory and just know that your life is beginning to look like you want it?  Wouldn't it be much more life-giving to have new positives beckon you onward rather than define yourself by the crippled story of old negatives?

The late Anthony DeMello writes: Imagine that you're unwell and in a foul mood, and they're taking you through some lovely countryside. The landscape is beautiful but you're not in the mood to see anything. A few days later you pass the same place and you say, "Good heavens, where was I that I didn't notice all of this"? Everything becomes beautiful when you change. Or you look at the trees and the mountains through windows that are wet with rain from a storm, and everything looks blurred and shapeless. You want to go right out there and change those trees, change those mountains. Wait a minute, let's examine your window. When the storm ceases and the rain stops, and you look out the window, you say, "Well, how different everything looks". We see people and things not as they are, but as we are. That is why when two people look at something or someone, you get two different reactions.

Put this program into action, a thousand times:

(a) identify the negative feelings in you;

(b) understand that they are in you, not in the world, not in external reality;

(c) do not see them as an essential part of "I"; these things come and go;

(d) understand that when you change, everything changes.

"Will you get your steps in today?" "Did you get a badge?" "What was your average HR during your walk?" If you don't understand these questions, you probably don't have a smartwatch or fitness tracker.  To call our business Alive 'n Well means that literally we are "walking the walk."  Except for the occasional all-day rain, daily we get outside and get our exercise- either walking, running or biking:  usually around 3 miles.  Saturdays we try to go for more than 6.  I promise that I’m not saying this to impress you but to encourage you.  Back to steps…

Did you know that the now sacred bar of "getting in your 10,000 steps" has its origins in a Japenese company that invented a device in 1965 called Manpo-kei, which translates to “10,000 steps meter" (there are crazy stories of competition among fitness fakes who have put their Apple watchers or Fitbits on fast dogs or fan blades to inflate their numbers). But whether you're doing your 10K steps for bragging rights or bolstering your immune system, what I like about walking is that it gets us outside into unconditioned air:  time to admire lawns and gardens; wave to neighbors and other walkers; look for hawks; listen for the great-horned owl; smell gardenias and jasmine; identify planets and stars.   It's so good to stretch our legs after time at our desks; it is said that too much sitting is the new smoking.

Do you remember the walkman (I still have one) that played a cassette tape (I do not have any😜)?  How about the fact that the name of the product was telling us to get moving!  Love it. So I say to you:  walkwoman, walkman!  If you can and are able, get outside and move your legs.  It's not only good for your body but also refreshing for your mind.  Nietzsche once said, “It is only ideas gained from walking that have any worth.” Thoreau, another avid walker, claimed, “The moment my legs begin to move my thoughts begin to flow.” So, if you don't like the outdoors (heat, skeeters, the virus, sidewalk cracks and other obstacles), walk indoors:  plug in the treadmill; go up and down the stairs or just one step; walk around the couch or kitchen.  If you don’t feel alive and well, get up and Walkman!

I have to tell you that this happens every time I watch the Olympic Games.  I see mostly young people, highly trained, incredibly motivated, disciplined and driven!  They have been working for this moment for a long time:  to go farther, faster, higher, longer- in water, on ice, in the air, on snow, in a court, on a field.  You see citizens of the world competing—or literally in hand-to-hand combat like judo or boxing—fighting to win.  And then there is the moment of congratulations and, even through disappointment, sportspersonship carries the day as the runner up or Bronze medalist congratulates the others.

And every time I watch these citizens of nearly every country, I wonder why we can’t live this way:  in peace, mutual respect and international cooperation.  The Olympics motto is “We move forward when we move together.”  And the organizing committee for the Tokyo Olympics adds “United by Emotion.” 

I remember in the Cold War of the 80s wanting America to win more medals than Russia.  Unfortunately, it’s also when the stockpiling of nuclear warheads was of Olympic proportions and the concept of MAD- mutually assured destruction- had people wondering if might was just not right.

Even if you’re not a sports enthusiast, the opening and closing ceremonies can’t help but bring to mind our better angels- who we really are as a global village showcasing the best from our little block of the neighborhood. 

During the sailing portion of the Seoul Olympics of 1998, Canadian sailor Lawrence Lemieux abandoned his race mid-competition to help Singaporeans, whose boat had capsized under 35-knot winds, leaving the pair in danger of being carried out to sea. Lemieux, who was on course to finish second in that day’s race, threw away his medal chances to help them out. He battled through harsh currents and forceful winds to ensure his competitors’ safety.

With Covid, terrorism, hackers and corrupt organizations, we should offer medals to those who make this world safer, stronger, friendlier and sturdier. 

Last week I spoke with a friend who retired from his 50-year practice as a doctor.  At first, it was a bit jarring, he admitted; but eventually, he is happier and lighter and freer.  I told him that he made his transition well.  Some folks don’t fare the same.  Speaking of transitions, In a podcast I heard a while ago, a professional sportsman told a familiar story:  early success, lots of money, a big house, supportive wife and two kids.  Then the story went to a place familiar only to some readers- he revealed that he had cancer.  When the doctor informed him of this fact, his response was not "Why me?" but rather "Why not me?"  As a life coach, I wonder how this person was able to be ready for this news, this new normal, this "sentence." By naming our website and initiative "Alive 'n Well", we know that many people are quite the opposite:  ailing and suffering...and we know there are those who are sick and tired of being sick and tired!  This is precisely why we felt compelled to begin something so positive-sounding and health-promoting.  We are also aware that there are people who are doing "okay" but could be consciously or unconsciously contributing to--or absorbing--the negativity that is rife during these strange times.  We want to do our part and lessen the impact of this kind of negativity.  Whether you are busy working or working to keep busy; tired or retired; have chronic pain or are one… we are here for you.