Tee has a spirited chat with Lulie Tanett, an independent researcher, Twitter celeb and teacher trainee of the Alexander Technique.

We follow the narrative arc of Lulie’s own self-development journey, somewhat intentionally falling into rabbit holes of all varieties, including:

• (12:35) The Taking Children Seriously (TCS) parenting movement and educational philosophy – “My first words were ‘that’s coercive!’”
• (29:50) Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing “changed her life forever” and is the “foundation of all inner work.”
• (33:10) The surprising (to us) usefulness of the Enneagram – blindspot prediction, character construction, and healthy & degenerative expressions
• (47:25) Enheartened philosophical exploration and debate versus ‘grabby’ intellectualism
• (1:00:45) The Alexander Technique and VIEW (Vulnerability, Impartiality, Empathy, Wonder)

Spicier parts of the episode include spotting hallmarks of the pretense of vulnerability often found within Authentic Relating circles (1:19:52), Tee’s pushback of Alexander Technique-isms (1:18:30), skepticisms about emphasizing a single type of personal development tradition (1:39:28), Lulie disabuses Tee of his bias against ‘mindsets’ (1:41:00)and what Lulie would now say to the previous “floating brain” version of herself regarding bodily processing and energy (2:02:44).

Tee welcomes to the show Damon Sasi, a Marriage and Family Therapist and co-host of the Rationally Writing podcast. Two primary questions structure the episode, 1) how do you know whether a coaching or therapy relationship is going well? and 2) how much does it make sense to pay for coaching or therapy? Damon & Tee discuss similarities and differences between coaching and therapy (38:15), conceptions of what high-skilled coaching and high-skilled therapy look like (46:52), and questioning the assumption "high-priced therapist/coach = better therapist/coach" (1:32:15). Spicier parts of the episode include what makes for a bad therapist (51:24), how therapists could be doing CBT wrong (56:47), and how being a fully booked and busy coach could be a signal of stunted growth (1:33:52). References mentioned in the show: – Rationally Writing podcast (Damon Sasi & Alexander Wales) – "Bad Therapist" blog post by Damon Sasi

– "Philosophy of Therapy" blog post by Damon Sasi

– "Why does psychotherapy work (when it works at all)?" Clearer Thinking Podcast with Scott Miller – "Why you can't find a therapist, no really" by Sidrea

In the inaugural episode of Any Thoughts On, the show where advisors, mentors and practitioners discuss their craft, Tee welcomes Emily Crotteau to the show. Emily moonlights as a body work specialist and is one of Tee's favorite coaches currently practicing.

Emily and Tee trade thoughts on two primary questions:

1) How can you know whether your work with a given practitioner (coach, therapist, etc.) is going well?

2) How much does it make sense to pay for something like coaching and/or therapy?

Show highlights below:

– 0:00 - 6:54 – Introduction

– 7:22 – How do you know a coaching relationship is going well? Tee introduces a three-point mental model to help determine whether your work with a given practitioner is going well:

• 1) Optimism/hope – do I feel like there's a reasonable chance that I can achieve what I want from this based on the experience(s) thus far? (This can include vibe/rapport etc.)
• 2) Emotional resonance – was the experience moving for me in a noticeable way?
• 3) Reasonable expectations and/or progression – do I have a justified outside- or inside-view (set of) reason(s) to continue with this?

– 13:50 – Calibrating your inside view with experience

– 31:00 – Gold standard for emotional resonance and durability of breakthroughs

– 42:03 – Intuition is a source of truth, not the source of truth

– 50:40 – Social interpretations of good behaviors & gender dynamics

– 59:51 – Reasonable expectations and the importance of meta-models

– 01:04:51 – How much does it make sense to pay for something like coaching and/or therapy?

– 01:08:24 – Factoring in the lifestyle and occupational constraints of the coach

– 01:16:45 – Mind games related to pay rates

– 01:22:55 – Societal underinvestment in role models

– 01:25:00 – Bounties on solving major psychological issues