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Hunt, Gather, Parent
- What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
- Narrated by: Michaeleen Doucleff
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
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Publisher's summary
New York Times Best Seller
The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?
“Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids.” (Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review)
When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and the conclusions often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do - and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?
In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop - it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.
Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are world experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.
Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their techniques firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately, Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.
Critic reviews
"NPR reporter Michaeleen Doucleff narrates this audiobook - part memoir and part guide on contemporary parenting. She is honest, clear, and thoughtful as she presents a wide range of research on parenting theories from many cultures. For those seeking new ways to connect with or better understand their children, this will be a welcome listen. Doucleff creates the feeling she is in your kitchen, swapping stories and wisdom of the ages. This title is easy on the ears, and the chapters go by swiftly. For an author turned narrator, she is very confident as she presents ideas from diverse sources. From the Inuit to city dwellers, Doucleff informs as she entertains, regaling us with advice of how to keep the peace." (AudioFile Magazine)
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- Bringing an End to the Everyday Battles
- By: Dr. Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Maurice England
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Don’t let those cherubic faces fool you. Your smart kids have an agenda - and they’re workin’ ya. Powerful kids don’t just happen. They’re created, and their power comes in different packages. Whether loud and temperamental, quiet and sensitive, or stubborn and manipulative, powerful children can make living with them a challenge. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In Parenting Your Powerful Child, New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman offers a practical action plan to redirect your child’s power surges into positive traits that will prepare your child for a successful, happy, and productive adult life.
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A MUST read for every parent
- By Elena F. Novak on 11-17-13
By: Dr. Kevin Leman
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Simplicity Parenting
- Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- By: Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.
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A worthwhile listen for new parents
- By Kathy K on 07-30-12
By: Kim John Payne, and others
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Raising Your Spirited Child, Third Edition
- A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic
- By: Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 13 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Including real-life stories, this newly revised third edition of the award-winning best seller - voted one of the top 20 parenting books - provides parents with the most up-to-date research, effective discipline tips, and practical strategies for raising spirited children. Do you ever wonder why your child acts the way he or she does? Are you at a loss regarding your child's emotional intelligence and how to prevent meltdowns? Do you find yourself getting frustrated and feeling like you're at the end of your rope?
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Wrong narrator for this book!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-21-17
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If I Have to Tell You One More Time
- The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling
- By: Amy McCready
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this invaluable audiobook, Amy McCready, founder of the popular online parenting course Positive Parenting Solutions, presents a nag-and-scream-free program for compassionately yet effectively, correcting your children's bad behavior. McCready draws on Adlerian psychology and Positive Discipline, which focuses on the central idea that every human being has a basic need to feel connected and empowered - children being no exception to the rule.
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Great book, will test
- By Jared on 05-21-15
By: Amy McCready
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Zero to Five
- 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science (and What I’ve Learned So Far)
- By: Tracy Cutchlow
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
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Pregnancy? Newborn baby? Partway through parenthood with a toddler or preschooler? No matter your stage, I'm guessing you could use more calm, more confidence. You could listen to dozens of parenting books on pregnancy, baby sleep, picky eaters, child psychology, child development, potty training, and discipline. Or you could listen to Zero to Five: 70 Essential Parenting Tips Based on Science.
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Exceptional, a confluence of logic and love.
- By Matthew Puddicombe on 03-21-19
By: Tracy Cutchlow
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The Well-Behaved Child
- Discipline That Really Works!
- By: John Rosemond
- Narrated by: Chris Sorensen
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Well-Behaved Child, beloved psychologist John Rosemond shares his seven essential tools for raising a child who pays attention and obeys. Once you learn how to use his proven, user-friendly techniques, you'll have everything you need to deal effectively with a wide range of discipline problems in children ages three to thirteen, what John terms "The Decade of Discipline". This clear, step-by-step program includes:
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Empowering
- By Emily on 10-13-20
By: John Rosemond
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The Connected Parent
- Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
- By: Lisa Qualls, Karyn Purvis PhD
- Narrated by: Lisa Qualls
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable tools to facilitate a healing connection with your child.
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An holistic approach to relational health
- By K & J on 02-11-23
By: Lisa Qualls, and others
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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The Secrets of Happy Families
- Surprising New Ideas to Bring More Togetherness, Less Chaos, and Greater Joy
- By: Bruce Feiler
- Narrated by: Bruce Feiler
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-13
By: Bruce Feiler
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The Confident Parent
- A Pediatrician's Guide to Caring for Your Little One - Without Losing Your Joy, Your Mind, or Yourself
- By: Dr. Jane Scott, Stephanie Land
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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We've all heard the complaint from parents: They're more overwhelmed than ever before - juggling demands on their time as well as conflicting advice from family, friends, frenemies, and "experts" on how to achieve parental perfection, or risk jeopardizing their little one's future happiness. Pediatrician Jane Scott has seen this parental anxiety up close, and in The Confident Parent she shares advice on how to cut through the confusion.
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Read by a computer
- By Megan Ormston on 11-14-18
By: Dr. Jane Scott, and others
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It's OK to Go up the Slide
- Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Shumaker has sparked much discussion with her "renegade rules for raising competent and compassionate kids". In this follow-up book, she takes on new hot-button issues like banning homework, technology use, and skipping kindergarten. Shumaker offers broader guidance on how parents can control their own anger and move from an overscheduled life to one of more free play.
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Amazing resource for parents and teachers
- By Ahmed on 05-11-16
By: Heather Shumaker
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It's Ok Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Parenting can be such an overwhelming job that it's easy to lose track of where you stand on some of the more controversial subjects at the playground (What if my kid likes to rough house - isn't this ok as long as no one gets hurt? And what if my kid just doesn't feel like sharing?). In this inspiring and enlightening book, Heather Shumaker describes her quest to nail down "the rules" to raising smart, sensitive, and self-sufficient kids.
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great book with exception of some disagreeing poin
- By Anonymous User on 05-04-22
By: Heather Shumaker
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The Connected Child
- Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family
- By: Karyn B. Purvis, David R. Cross, Wendy Lyons Sunshine
- Narrated by: Anna Crowe
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family - and addressing their special needs - requires care, consideration, and compassion.
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Incredibly helpful
- By Amazon Customer on 08-12-21
By: Karyn B. Purvis, and others
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The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child
- By: Alan Kazdin
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Most child-behavior books are filled with advice that sounds reasonable, fits with what parents already believe about child-rearing, and isas Dr. Kazdin proves guaranteed to fail. The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child makes available to parents for the first time Dr. Kazdins proven program, one backed up by some of the most long-term and respected research devoted to any therapy for children.
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Same old same old
- By Amazon Customer on 10-26-10
By: Alan Kazdin
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Epic
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How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids
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Stop the yelling, lose the guilt, and become a calmer, happier parent. Drawing on evidence-based practices, here is an insight-packed and tip-filled plan for how to stop the parental meltdowns. Its compassionate, pragmatic approach will help listeners feel less ashamed and more empowered to get their, ahem, act together instead of losing it.
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Good content written poorly
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To Have and to Hold
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
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Today's kids have adopted sedentary lifestyles filled with television, video games, and computer screens. But more and more, studies show that children need "rough and tumble" outdoor play in order to develop their sensory, motor, and executive functions. Disturbingly, a lack of movement has been shown to lead to a number of health and cognitive difficulties, such as attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), emotion regulation and sensory processing issues, and aggressiveness at school recess break.
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Good information, challenging to listen to as it refers to itself often.
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What listeners say about Hunt, Gather, Parent
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- Anonymous User
- 03-26-21
I wish they had a professional narrator
I read about this book and was very excited. But I found it really hard to listen to. If I could, I’d give that part zero stars. The author narrates it and it’s just not her strength. I know she’s on the radio. But it’s like she keeps her 2 minute radio segment energy the whole 8 hours (or however long it is) instead of allowing for the story to ebb and flow in energy. It’s also feels like you can tell when she gets to the end of a line of text, and she treats it like the end of a sentence, but then there’s more sentence. I put this down and tried again multiple times, but I can’t finish it. Maybe I’ll buy the hard copy someday. The author has found an interesting premise, but narrating a whole book is not this author’s strength.
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- Alicia Reed
- 05-23-21
Hands down my favorite parenting book
Though it does reference some of my other favorites!
This book really appealed to me as an attachment parenting style babywearing cosleeping mom, who chose to do things differently from western culture during the baby phase because it just didn't feel right or natural to me. I feel like Western society has strayed far from our natural state in so many ways! Thank goodness that I lived in a time where I could find online resources about how other cultures managed the needs of their babies. But then, I ran into trouble once my babies weren't babies anymore!!! What was the most natural, intuitive way to parent toddlers and bigger kids? Certainly not the way I was raised! I was so lost, and struggled to discern deeply ingrained but unhealthy methods of parenting from my own childhood and the more appropriate methods I thought should have come naturally to me, but which I struggled to manifest. Then, enter this book. Just as it was with babywearing and cosleeping, everything rings true to my little parent heart. It feels right. Thank you for this guide! ❤
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- Mrapunzel
- 03-05-21
Read (Listen) to this audiobook!
I just got this audio book a few days ago and am not even all the way through... but have to say: If you are a parent, read this book. I am learning so much and can't wait to try out new tips and practices with my children and grandchildren (and maybe even some adults in my life lol). I love the science behind the parenting "facts" we have all been spoon-fed.... and the reasoning behind why studies are not repeatable and too small, yet guide so many of us in western parenting. The author's heart shows through as she reads her own book aloud. (What author recently asks a reader to directly and immediately email them if they somehow come across the wrong way in their intentions to support parents where they are?) So many people hire professionals to read their own books, which is great where needed; in this case it is really nice to hear her story in her own voice. Can't wait to finish it, and have already recommended this book to others.
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- Krystal Bundy
- 03-24-21
Mostly love it, but also it’s problematic
This book absolutely helped me become a better parent. I have two sons under the age of three. My older son has always preferred his dad. I had really just accepted that as developmentally normal. As I started to read/listen to this book (I loved it so much I bought a physical copy, too), and as I started to incorporate strategies and principals from this book, I noticed my relationship with my older son improving greatly. He still is a Daddy’s boy, but he is much more affectionate with me, and I am much more understanding and nurturing towards him. (I always thought that I was nurturing before, but I didn’t see the things I was doing that were coercive and controlling before reading this book.) I love love love love this book, and it has made me completely rethink a lot of my preconceived notions about parenting. I will recommend this book to all my new parent friends from now on.
There is, however, a caveat. I saw another reviewer mention the problematic nature of the book—which is why I rated it 4 instead of 5 stars. As I recommend this book to my friends and family, I will need to preface the recommendation with an acknowledgement of the problematic nature of this book: it borders on fetishizing non-Western cultures.
Overall, the book really contextualizes parenting advice I’ve gained from other parenting books (stop yelling, don’t do timeout, don’t get angry) and gives you a context for why and how to be a more peaceful and effective parent. It uses storytelling to convey the message in an effective way. There are some pieces of the book that don’t fit in with all my values, but there are many more pieces of the book that I can personalize to my own home. So, I wouldn’t throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak, but readers should be warned that, yes, this book does have problematic elements.
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- Tom Fury
- 03-04-21
dr douclef is brilliant
i am due to have my first child this July. after listening to this book, i feel well equipped to handle the anxieties of parenthood. i also have confirmed my suspicions of why some leaders are better than others and how certain of my bosses have been so much more effective at managing. excellent book; would recommend
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- haley lozier
- 08-24-21
Not a Parent, Still the Best Book of the Year
I am not a parent but I read a review of this book and decided it sounded too good not to read. It is amazing! well written with great storytelling and even better, the methods work! I am a high school teacher and I tried the calm question asking method from the the Inuit section of the book and IT WORKS!!! I have also tried some methods with my nieces, all of which have worked. Parent or not, this book is a must read!
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-27-21
Disappointed
Agree that the author’s voice is difficult to listen to.... it’s like a teenager’s voice. The content while well- meaning is simplistic and left me wanting more substance. I wasn’t impressed by the sense of humor here and there- just didn’t flow right. Kept waiting for more.....
Would not recommend.
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- Louis
- 04-06-21
My child isn't perfect like Rosy
I am not much of an elegant writer so I will bullet point some of the critiques I have of the book:
1. Although the author certainly shares many of the struggles she has with parenting her daughter, she gives the impression that these "techniques" all of sudden magically transform Rosy. It felt almost like a long infomercial-- if you try a,b and c, then yo you too can have that perfect child! It did not feel very genuine as she moved from one problem area to the next only to have some miracle occur after implementing her tried and true method.
2. One thing that she fails to mention is the necessity that is involved in having the children take on such responsibilities at such a young age. There seems to be a disconnect between the priveledged like she had as a child and now as an adult, with that of the families she documents. For instance, the reason that many of the young kids in the Mayan communities take on so many roles is because it is out of necessity. They do not have the luxury of hiring extra help or going to their local government for food assistance. These people are very impoverished. Something similar happens to kids in the US where families are stretched so thinly because of socio-economic reasons: these kids are called parentified children. These kids take on too much too fast. They learn to change diapers, cook meals and walk their siblings to school at a very young age. THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!! She exploits this and warps into some delusional nonsense she calls being "acomedido".
3. She often contradicts herself. She is almost cold and dispassionate when talking about how one needs to throw out anything that is child centered including toys, etc. However, towards the end of the book she is gushing over how Rosy is able to get the table ready after spending days training her to do so after Rosy wanted to play tea set with her. It almost seems like the only reason one should play with their kids is for the sole purpose of training and teaching instead of connecting and enjoying the moment.
4. What the hell? The idea of allowing your kid make you breakfast or use sharp objects might sound like a good when as it can be a useful means of helping the child gain autonomy, but your chuck all of the out the window after the kids scars himself for life because the pan tipped over ( I know someone this happened to and her face is disfigured). No thanks.
5. Lastly, the Inuit people are revered in her book for having such control over their emotions that women who give birth require no pain medication and the act of giving birth elicits not even a small whimper. What?? Okay? But is the opposite the same? Are they also void of laughter and good old fashioned tom foolery? I say nay!! I will take a few shouting matches with the little tykes so long as we can act like crazy hyenas!!!!!!!!
6. Lastly, as others have mentioned, all of the techniques that she touts in the book are not new at all and have been around for decades. It feels to me that like many other priveledged folks with some time and money to spend, utilize these resources to look outside at the "other" cultures with the hopes to find the panacea for the aching hearts and lives.
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- Anonymous User
- 11-07-22
As a nanny…
This book has helped me become a better nanny. things that were issues with my kids before, are not issues anymore. There’s a lot of actionable advice in this book.
You don’t have to agree with or adopt every parenting style in this book. But I guarantee that if you read it you’ll find a way (likely many ways) that you can do better by your children
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- Jk
- 12-04-21
Loved this book
The author is very relatable, intelligent, down-to-earth and funny. I found it very helpful how she summarizes the parenting ideas at the end of each section with advice/examples of how to try them yourself. I found many of the recommendations worked well for us and made parenting much more pleasant and less exhausting. I have listened to this book two times through so far and loved it both times. Kids change so much with age, even over a few months, so I felt I was reminded of some things a learned the first time but also felt new things applied to my daughter as she’s grown.
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