-
Seriously...I'm Kidding
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $14.81
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol.
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?"
Seriously...I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more.
Praise for Seriously...I'm Kidding
"DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." (People)
"Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." (Publishers Weekly)
"Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." (Kirkus)
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
The Funny Thing Is...
- By: Ellen DeGeneres
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 best selling My Point...and I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this audiobook.
-
-
starts out hilarious
- By Victoria on 11-12-03
By: Ellen DeGeneres
-
If You Ask Me
- (And of Course You Won't)
- By: Betty White
- Narrated by: Betty White
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It-girl Betty White delivers a hilarious, slyly profound take on love, life, celebrity, and everything in between. Drawing from a lifetime of lessons learned, seven-time Emmy winner Betty White's wit and wisdom take center stage as she tackles topics like friendship, romantic love, aging, television, fans, love for animals, and the brave new world of celebrity. If You Ask Me mixes her thoughtful observations with humorous stories from a seven- decade career in Hollywood. Longtime fans and new fans alike will relish Betty's candid take on everything....
-
-
I'd ask Betty!
- By Lizz on 11-30-11
By: Betty White
-
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
-
-
Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
-
Here We Go Again
- My Life In Television
- By: Betty White
- Narrated by: Betty White
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Here is Betty White - a woman who has been on television forever!" is generally how Betty White is introduced. And quite accurately, too, since she first appeared in 1949, when both she and television were rank beginners. Since then, she has had one of the most amazing careers in TV, winning five Emmy awards, creating such unforgettable characters as Sue Ann Nivens and Rose Nylund, and appearing in a host of television classics.
-
-
I don't understand why this was abridged...
- By Gina M Clingerman on 12-16-15
By: Betty White
-
Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
-
-
Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
-
Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
-
-
Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
-
The Funny Thing Is...
- By: Ellen DeGeneres
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 best selling My Point...and I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this audiobook.
-
-
starts out hilarious
- By Victoria on 11-12-03
By: Ellen DeGeneres
-
If You Ask Me
- (And of Course You Won't)
- By: Betty White
- Narrated by: Betty White
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It-girl Betty White delivers a hilarious, slyly profound take on love, life, celebrity, and everything in between. Drawing from a lifetime of lessons learned, seven-time Emmy winner Betty White's wit and wisdom take center stage as she tackles topics like friendship, romantic love, aging, television, fans, love for animals, and the brave new world of celebrity. If You Ask Me mixes her thoughtful observations with humorous stories from a seven- decade career in Hollywood. Longtime fans and new fans alike will relish Betty's candid take on everything....
-
-
I'd ask Betty!
- By Lizz on 11-30-11
By: Betty White
-
The Greatest Love Story Ever Told
- An Oral History
- By: Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At last, the full story behind Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman's epic romance, including stories, portraits, and the occasional puzzle. How did they do it? They came from completely different families, endured a significant age difference, and were separated by the gulf of several social strata. Megan loved books and art history; Nick loved hammers. But much more than these seemingly unsurpassable obstacles were the values they held in common: respect, decency, the ability to mention genitalia in almost any context, and an abiding obsession with the songs of Tom Waits.
-
-
Not sure if I like or not.
- By KJ1022 on 10-03-18
By: Megan Mullally, and others
-
Here We Go Again
- My Life In Television
- By: Betty White
- Narrated by: Betty White
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"Here is Betty White - a woman who has been on television forever!" is generally how Betty White is introduced. And quite accurately, too, since she first appeared in 1949, when both she and television were rank beginners. Since then, she has had one of the most amazing careers in TV, winning five Emmy awards, creating such unforgettable characters as Sue Ann Nivens and Rose Nylund, and appearing in a host of television classics.
-
-
I don't understand why this was abridged...
- By Gina M Clingerman on 12-16-15
By: Betty White
-
Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
-
-
Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
-
Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
-
-
Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
-
This Time Together
- Laughter and Reflection
- By: Carol Burnett
- Narrated by: Carol Burnett
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This touching and hilarious memoir is 100 percent Carol Burnett—funny, irreverent, and irresistible.Carol Burnett is one of the most beloved and revered actresses and performers in America. The Carol Burnett Show was seen each week by millions of adoring fans and won twenty-five Emmys in its remarkable eleven-year run.
-
-
Do not listen while driving
- By Robin on 08-12-10
By: Carol Burnett
-
Finding Me
- A Memoir
- By: Viola Davis
- Narrated by: Viola Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In my book, you will meet a little girl named Viola who ran from her past until she made a life-changing decision to stop running forever. This is my story, from a crumbling apartment in Central Falls, Rhode Island, to the stage in New York City, and beyond. This is the path I took to finding my purpose but also my voice in a world that didn’t always see me.
-
-
Absolutely beautifully Written❤️
- By Latwhit22 on 05-02-22
By: Viola Davis
-
Love, Lucy
- By: Lucille Ball
- Narrated by: Lucie Arnaz
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Love, Lucy is the valentine Lucille Ball left for her fans—a warm, wise, and witty memoir written by Lucy herself. The legendary star of the classic sitcom I Love Lucy was at the pinnacle of her success when she sat down to record the story of her life. No comedienne had made America laugh so hard, no television actress had made the leap from radio and B movies to become one of the world’s best-loved performers. This is her story—in her own words.
-
-
What a great book
- By SCOTT on 07-11-18
By: Lucille Ball
-
Becoming
- By: Michelle Obama
- Narrated by: Michelle Obama
- Length: 19 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In her memoir, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites listeners into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her - from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work to her time spent at the world's most famous address. With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it - in her own words and on her own terms.
-
-
Didn't know what I was getting into
- By Kenneth Woodward on 12-05-18
By: Michelle Obama
-
Me Before You
- A Novel
- By: Jojo Moyes
- Narrated by: Susan Lyons, Anna Bentink, Steven Crossley, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover the love story that captured over 20 million hearts in Me Before You, After You, and Still Me. They had nothing in common until love gave them everything to lose...Louisa Clark is an ordinary girl living an exceedingly ordinary life - steady boyfriend, close family - who has never been farther afield than their tiny village. She takes a badly needed job working for ex-Master of the Universe Will Traynor, who is wheelchair bound after an accident.
-
-
A Journey Into the Unknown
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-13-13
By: Jojo Moyes
-
Bits and Pieces
- My Mother, My Brother, and Me
- By: Whoopi Goldberg
- Narrated by: Whoopi Goldberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If it weren’t for Emma Johnson, Caryn Johnson would have never become Whoopi Goldberg. Emma gave her children the loving care and wisdom they needed to succeed in life, always encouraging them to be true to themselves. When Whoopi lost her mother in 2010—and then her older brother, Clyde, five years later—she felt deeply alone; the only people who truly knew her were gone. Emma raised her children not just to survive, but to thrive. In this intimate and heartfelt memoir, Whoopi shares many of the deeply personal stories of their lives together for the first time.
-
-
Boring and weird
- By Amazon Customer on 07-22-24
By: Whoopi Goldberg
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
Girl Logic
- The Genius and the Absurdity
- By: Iliza Shlesinger
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik, Iliza Shlesinger
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on a confident woman's approach to friendship, singlehood, and relationships. "Girl Logic" is Iliza's term for the way women obsess over details and situations that men don't necessarily even notice. She describes it as a characteristically female way of thinking that appears to be contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world.
-
-
A delight
- By Haha917 on 03-28-18
By: Iliza Shlesinger
-
Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
- A Memoir
- By: Matthew Perry
- Narrated by: Matthew Perry
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence. In an extraordinary story that only he could tell, Matthew Perry takes listeners onto the soundstage of the most successful sitcom of all time while opening up about his private struggles with addiction. Candid, self-aware, and told with his trademark humor, Perry vividly details his lifelong battle with the disease and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.
-
-
Mad at myself for getting sucked in
- By betty on 11-03-22
By: Matthew Perry
-
The Truths We Hold
- An American Journey
- By: Kamala Harris
- Narrated by: Kamala Harris
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The daughter of immigrants and civil rights activists, Vice President Kamala Harris was raised in an Oakland, California, community that cared deeply about social justice. As she rose to prominence as one of the political leaders of our time, her experiences would become her guiding light as she grappled with an array of complex issues and learned to bring a voice to the voiceless. In The Truths We Hold, she reckons with the big challenges we face together.
-
-
Great content, read if possible
- By TCamp72 on 03-07-19
By: Kamala Harris
-
The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
-
-
Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
What listeners say about Seriously...I'm Kidding
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- R. Strauss
- 12-19-11
Exactly what you would expect from Ellen
Where does Seriously...I'm Kidding rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
This book is light and funny and I couldn't really tell what the story was. Probably because she's a comedian and her point is to be entertaining. Not a serious book. It's perfect if you are looking for a light, easy, quick read that will make you smile.
What about Ellen DeGeneres’s performance did you like?
She's funny! She speaks funny and writes funny. When you get to hear both at once...it's even better!
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Rambling...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
35 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- T
- 06-04-14
Very Entertaining!
Would you consider the audio edition of Seriously...I'm Kidding to be better than the print version?
Absolutely! Hearing Ellen narrate the book made it so much more entertaining and funny as she has such a unique personality.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Seriously...I'm Kidding?
I don't have a favorite. I liked that she covered so many topics.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
This book made me laugh out loud as I was driving down the road.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
12 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Brianna Brown
- 05-09-15
Hilarious, wonderful book!
I just love Ellen. She is warm and caring and so personable. Obviously she is hilariously witty and intelligent and effortlessly beautiful. But what really strikes me is that she is so personable and relatable, and really, truly cares about other people. This book had me laughing out loud so much that I had to replay the chapters several times before I actually heard everything, because I would laugh so hard I couldn't hear the rest of what she said. Highly recommended.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Shubnum
- 02-22-17
meh
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I love Ellen--I watch her, I follow her on instagram--this book wasn't a book. It was a collection of rambings--like I was listening to Dory tell her life story.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jennifer Nelson
- 04-09-18
Seriously....I Paid For This?
So I really do like Ellen, she is funny and happy and easy to listen to. It is not a bad book. But it should be called, "A Book About Nothing" - and not cost any money to listen to. It is more like a radio show or a pod cast, that should be free. It is a whole book about random (TOTALLY random) musings about sometimes funny stuff. At one point she tells the reader, "I am now going to make funny noises" And she starts to make random, non-nonsensical, sing songy sounds. I thought the whole time how did she think that people should be actually pay hard earned money for this....?
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jessica Stambaugh
- 08-28-18
Amazing
Ellen is amazing her book has made my week so much better and was a feel good book can't wait for her next one
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Cristi
- 10-29-11
.pdfs?
Great book...although she does mention .pdfs...and there were none attached. Love her book though!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Anna D.
- 04-15-18
Funny and uplifting
Classic Ellen comedy. I laughed out loud several times throughout the book. Love her humor.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- techgirlgeek
- 04-22-16
So much fun
Ellen did an amazing job narrating her own book. I don't think it would have been the same in anyone else's voice.
Although she says almost everything with a dash (at least) of levity, she also has some great messages in this book.
Ellen really is an amazing, kind, strong, smart, and hilarious woman. I will be listening to her other books as well. This book really helped make my commutes and daily walks enjoyable.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Michael
- 10-11-15
Very random...
This book was almost too random at times, but I fit made me laugh a lot, which I figure is the point. It is sort of like small segments of her tv show in a book. There are some really good messages in here, funny moments, also some not as funny ones. Overall it was still enjoyable once I got a little use to the style.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!