
Agent to the Stars
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Narrated by:
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Wil Wheaton
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents. But although Stein may have just concluded the biggest deal of his career, it's quite another thing to negotiate for an entire alien race. To earn his percentage this time, he's going to need all the smarts, skills, and wits he can muster.
©2005 John Scalzi (P)2010 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
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The B-Team
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
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New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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Very Scalzian indeed!
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In Still Just a Geek, Wil revisits his 2004 collection of blog posts, Just a Geek, filled with insightful and often laugh-out-loud annotated comments, additional later writings, and all new material written for this publication. The result is an incredibly raw and honest memoir, in which Wil opens up about his life, about falling in love, about coming to grips with his past work, choices, and family, and finding fulfillment in the new phases of his career.
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Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
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There's a reason We Are Legion was named Audible's Best Science Fiction Book of 2016: Its irresistibly irreverent wit! Bob Johansson has just sold his software company for a small fortune and is looking forward to a life of leisure. The first item on his to-do list: Spending his newfound windfall. On an urge to splurge, he signs up to have his head cryogenically preserved in case of death. Then he gets himself killed crossing the street. Waking up 117 years later, Bob discovers his mind has been uploaded into a sentient space probe with the ability to replicate itself.
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Ignore the Publisher's Summary! This is Amazing!
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
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The President's Brain Is Missing
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- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
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By: John Scalzi
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Ready Player One
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the year 2045, reality is an ugly place. The only time Wade Watts really feels alive is when he’s jacked into the OASIS, a vast virtual world where most of humanity spends their days. When the eccentric creator of the OASIS dies, he leaves behind a series of fiendish puzzles, based on his obsession with the pop culture of decades past. Whoever is first to solve them will inherit his vast fortune—and control of the OASIS itself.
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I’m sorry I waited so long to read this book.
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Off to Be the Wizard
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's a simple story. Boy finds proof that reality is a computer program. Boy uses program to manipulate time and space. Boy gets in trouble. Boy flees back in time to Medieval England to live as a wizard while he tries to think of a way to fix things. Boy gets in more trouble. Oh, and boy meets girl at some point.
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Hang in there
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By: Scott Meyer
Editorial reviews
Wil Wheaton, a Star Trek: The Next Generation alum, is a canny choice for narrator of this intersection of science fiction and Elmore Leonard-esque Hollywood farce. In addition to being a rather prominent footnote in sci-fi history, Wheaton’s also got a great voice — sonorous, with an inflection similar to a late-night radio DJ who’s bemusedly sharing an anecdote on air between tracks. His voice also carries a hint of that lilt peculiar to many native Angelenos, which comes in handy when he exaggerates it to Valley Girl-proportions to portray starlet Michelle Beck, former cheerleader and current box office draw.
Hollywood agent Tom Stein is the book’s hero, and when the story begins, Michelle is his most important client. That is, until Tom meets Joshua, an extraterrestrial whose alien race hires Tom and his boss, superagent Carl Lupo, to represent them. The Yherajk have decided their best hope for a peaceful first contact between their race and all of humanity is to out themselves via the movies, and they know if they want to make it in Hollywood, they need good representation.
Wheaton’s voicing of Joshua, who has traveled to Earth as the Yherajk’s representative, is another highlight. Joshua, like his kinsmen, looks like a gelatinous blob, gives off a noxious odor, and slithers around amorphously. He’s also incredibly educated when it comes to human pop culture, having logged countless hours watching sitcoms. Wheaton delivers Joshua’s line, “We look like snot. And we smell like dead fish,” in a nasally deadpan that suits a one-liner-delivering alien to a T.
Even when Scalzi veers into semi-philosophical territory — as when he explores why an alien race would choose a Hollywood debut over staging their premiere in Washington — Wheaton keeps the narration moving with his just-right character voices. Look out for the both silly and spot-on sounding Quebecois accent he uses to portray Roland Lanois, an art-house film director with a critical role in the novel, and for his Buddha-like turn as Gwedif, a Yherajk storyteller. —Maggie Frank
Critic reviews
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jack Holloway mines valuable sunstones on the planet Zarathustra. One day, he encounters a small, furry humanoid whom he names Little Fuzzy, who introduces Holloway to his family. Holloway cares for the Fuzzies and spreads the news of their apparently intelligent behavior. When the Company discovers that the Fuzzies' intelligence may qualify them as a sapient species, it takes certain steps.
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- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
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By: John Scalzi
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Not too long from today, a new, highly contagious virus makes its way across the globe. Most who get sick experience nothing worse than flu, fever, and headaches. But for the unlucky one percent - and nearly five million souls in the United States alone - the disease causes "Lock In": Victims fully awake and aware, but unable to move or respond to stimulus. The disease affects young, old, rich, poor, people of every color and creed. The world changes to meet the challenge.
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- By Alexis on 08-29-14
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- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ensign Andrew Dahl has just been assigned to the Universal Union Capital Ship Intrepid, flagship of the Universal Union since the year 2456. Life couldn’t be better…until Andrew begins to pick up on the facts that (1) every Away Mission involves some kind of lethal confrontation with alien forces; (2) the ship’s captain, its chief science officer, and the handsome Lieutenant Kerensky always survive these confrontations; and (3) at least one low-ranked crew member is, sadly, always killed.
-
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- A Tor.Com Original
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- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
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Performance
-
Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jack Holloway mines valuable sunstones on the planet Zarathustra. One day, he encounters a small, furry humanoid whom he names Little Fuzzy, who introduces Holloway to his family. Holloway cares for the Fuzzies and spreads the news of their apparently intelligent behavior. When the Company discovers that the Fuzzies' intelligence may qualify them as a sapient species, it takes certain steps.
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
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Buyer's Remorse
- By Amy on 03-31-25
By: John Scalzi
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Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
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Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
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Short and fun!
- By Andrew on 10-04-24
By: John Scalzi
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The Kaiju Preservation Society
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food-delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization”. Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on. What Tom doesn't tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world.
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I'm listening with a permanent smile on my face
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 03-15-22
By: John Scalzi
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
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Rip-Off!
- By: John Scalzi, Jack Campbell, Mike Resnick, and others
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton, Scott Brick, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rip-Off!, 13 of today’s best and most honored writers of speculative fiction face a challenge even they would be hard-pressed to conceive: Pick your favorite opening line from a classic piece of fiction (or even non-fiction) - then use it as the first sentence of an entirely original short story.
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When is a rip-off not a rip-off?
- By Julie W. Capell on 11-24-13
By: John Scalzi, and others
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Dina Pearlman, Kevin T. Collins, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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Very Scalzian indeed!
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 12-03-19
By: John Scalzi
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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Shadow War of the Night Dragons, Book One: The Dead City: Prologue
- A Tor.com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: James MacKenzie
- Length: 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Here is Old Man's War author John Scalzi's sendup of the heroic fantasy genre, now a finalist for the Hugo Award for Best Short Story.
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Excellent Prologue, not short story
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 03-05-13
By: John Scalzi
Tom Stein is a young Hollywood agent who used to think that his clients were hard to handle. That was before Tom’s boss assigned him to represent the most important client any agent has ever had to deal with — the first aliens to contact the human race.
These aliens — the Yherajk — have been watching our TV broadcasts for years, so they know a lot about humans. They are peaceful and want to make a good impression, but they know it’ll be a hard sell. That’s because they look like The Blob, smell like sweaty sneakers, and have some powers that humans are going to find very disturbing. In other words, they seem more like fodder for our horror movies than friends. That’s why they’ve asked Tom Stein’s agency to represent them. So Tom gets to dump his difficult clients off on a junior agent so he can concentrate on figuring out how to give the aliens an image makeover before they’re marketed to the human public.
If you’re already a fan of John Scalzi’s writing, whether it’s his novels or his blog, you’re sure to enjoy Agent to the Stars. It’s non-stop entertainment that’s crackling with that snide humor he’s famous for. The whole Hollywood culture falls victim to his pen as Tom Stein and his competent assistant deal with divas, Hollywood has-beens, the mother of a pampered child star, nosey reporters, rabid fans, and a dumb blonde who wants to move up from playing beach bunny roles to playing a holocaust victim.
Yet even as Scalzi delights in poking fun at Hollywood, at the same time he illustrates its cultural significance and shows us how film can be a powerful tool for education, understanding, and social change. Specifically here he highlights the atrocities that were committed by the Nazis during the Holocaust. A few of these scenes were beautifully poignant.
Agent to the Stars, published in 2005, was John Scalzi’s first novel and it succeeds in every way. Audible Frontiers put it on audio in 2010 and Brilliance Audio released it in CD format last month. Wil Wheaton, who narrates some of Scalzi’s other work, is absolutely perfect here. Scalzi + Wheaton is a terrific combination. If you’re going to read Agent of the Stars, which you should, please please try the audio version!
John Scalzi's debut
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He has wonderful characters that cover a wide range of possibilities. This is a wonderfully comic romp that pokes fun at many a sacred cow. It also has its very, very somber moments - especially concerning the Holocaust - but is a wonderfully engaging story that you will not want to stop until its completely done.
The narration by Wil Wheaton - best known as Wesley Crusher from Star Trek the Next Generation - is well done. He voices the characters, especially the snarky alien, perfectly.
You will want to explore all the John Scalzi books after hearing this one
Hollywood Agent Represents Stinky Aliens
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-Scott Saunders
Somewhere in Iowa.
Agent to the Stars is a fun and fantastic read.
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Meh ... says the SF Fan.
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The John Scalzi/Wil Wheaton duo doesn't seem to be able to go wrong with this. Scalzi's books frequently are LOL funny Science Fiction-a real rarity-and Wil Wheaton seems to be able to translate this attitude so well.
Agent to the Stars has a "First Encounter" plot, but it's sure not one you've ever read before. These aliens know they have a problem with their appearance and hire a famous Hollywood agent to represent them to the world.
The various incarnations that "Joshua", the alien protagonist goes thru are truly funny--I found some similarity with the Iron Druid novels by Kevin Hearne, especially Oberon his talking dog-Joshua the alien absorbs the dying body and personality of a dog.....amongst others.
It's crazy, complicated at times and just plain funny. Not a shoot 'em up Si Fi if thats what you look for in Si Fi you'll be disappointed, and even though it's very humorous, there is a serious plot underlying the whole slapstick comedy.
Have some fun, download this and "Fuzzy Nation" too, another Scalzi/Wheaton co-op effort...both are well worth your time at the beach or by the pool. And allow yourself to laugh out loud.
Another Scalzi and Wheaton winner - great fun
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Much better than it should be!
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Other reviewers are correct - this is just plain fun. But it's also an interesting attempt at commentary on American entertainment culture. I point that out because sometimes folks need an "excuse" to spend a credit. But never mind that - this story is a hoot and this is a great listen.
Fun characters, interesting premise, satisfying conclusion. I consumed it over a weekend, and will likely listen again. I like these people. You will too.
A Brilliant Pairing
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fun ride
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Stellar First Novel
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I Was Surprised!
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