When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

By: George Carlin

Narrated by: George Carlin

Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins

Publisher's summary

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

©2004 Comedy Concepts, Inc. (P)2004 Hyperion

Critic reviews

• Audie Award Finalist, Humor, 2005
• 2005 Quill Award Nominee
• Grammy Award Nominee, Best Spoken Word Album, 2005

"There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself....Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits and enhanced by his deft vocal variation, making listeners feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows." (Publishers Weekly)

One of the Greatest!

deviously funny...George Carlin has a style all his own...I loved his performances, and his books...

Here's the thing....

George Carlin is one of my heroes. This is mostly about politically correct speech and euphemisms. But it's not funny unless you realize that Carlin has complete contempt for the publisher, the listener, and society at large. It's a big middle finger to whoever insisted he was contracted to write a book. And that's why I love it. By no means Carlin's best, in fact it's kind of over-the-top unfunny. But my theory is that that was his intention. So, keeping that in mind (and I concede I could be wrong), you'll enjoy it more.

Vintage Carlin

There are parts of this book that are just hysterical, and other parts that are, quite frankly, a little disturbing. But that's George Carlin. I enjoyed it, but I think I've gotten my fill of him for a while.

Excellent, But Derivitive Of Earlier Works

Carlin at his best, but if you already have "George Carlin Reads To You" you've already heard all the best bits. If you are trying to choose between the two, get this one, but if you have one, you don't need the other.

George at his best

Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?

No, he said it all the first read.

Who was your favorite character and why?

George, of course.

Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Yes. It's as entertaining and thought provoking as all of his work is.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Several.

What do you want me to say? Its George Carlin.

You will get exactly what your looking for, if your looking for George Carlin.

Very Brave, the truth about life today........

I love to laugh instead of getting angry about the latest things that Some very "bigoted people" think is majority thinking.... Mr. Carlin is great for placing in ones mind visual truths about everyday living. He says it like it is and is very entertaining while sharing his thoughts..Loved the book and recomend reading it before passing judgement....It is not about politics or religion .. SEEMS TO ME LIKE IT IS ABOUT LAUGHING, .. INSTEAD OF CRYING, ABOUT Life today...

Prolific Hystericalness

This book contains a few of Carlin's known bits used mainly in the late 90's and 00's HBO concerts, but it also contains a plethora of previously "unperformed" material. The fact that Carlin reads this himself is important as he adds his own personal flare to his material. There are some pieces which left me with sore sides from the laughter.

Carlin's command and use (or usage) of the English language is sublime. Indeed, there are numerous related pieces about euphemisms, going for more in-depth than any of his concert material had ever done. His clever wit and repartee is released and unbounded in this performance.

If you disapprove of profanity, than Carlin is not an artist you would appreciate, as he sometimes uses profanity the way Van Gogh used bush, paint, and canvas. And, I imagine some of this is "B material" as it didn't make the cut for his stand up concerts. Or perhaps he didn't have enough time to perform these bits, as there is probably six hours of previously unperformed material.

If you are a Carlin fan, you'll want to get this performance. Jesus/Pork Chops is an important capstone to his lengthy, prolific and influential career. Though not his last recording or performance, it certainly contains hours of previously unreleased material, that is mostly of as high a quality as the material from his albums and HBO concerts.

A laugh a monute.

This guy is really awesome. I'm going to have to read this again. I laughed so hard at some of the material I haven't heard in a very long time.

I miss George!

Would you listen to When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? again? Why?

I would and I have. I just love George Carlins view on everything.

Would you recommend When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? to your friends? Why or why not?

Yes and no. If my friends were religious, they may take offense.

Have you listened to any of George Carlin’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No I have not, just his stand up comedy on TV and that is very similar

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

No, I just like to listen when I need a laugh.