We are currently making improvements to the Audible site. In an effort to enhance the accessibility experience for our customers, we have created a page to more easily navigate the new experience, available at the web address www.audible.com/access.
 >   > 
Bill the Vampire | [Rick Gualtieri]
Play Bill the Vampire

Bill the Vampire

  • UNABRIDGED
  • by Rick Gualtieri
  • Narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf
  • Your Likes make Audible better!

    'Likes' are shared on Facebook and Audible.com. We use your 'likes' to improve Audible.com for all our listeners.

    You can turn off Audible.com sharing from your Account Details page.

    OK
  • Regular Price :$19.95

Two ways to buy!

What's Trending in Fiction:

  • Average Customer Rating
  • Overall
    (72)
    Performance
    (69)
    Story
    (68)
 
  • LENGTH
    6 hrs and 51 mins
  • RELEASE DATE
    01-21-13
  • AUDIO FORMATS
    About Audio Formats
    2 3 4 Enhanced Audio
 

People who bought this also bought...

Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (72 ratings)
5 star
 (38)
4 star
 (26)
3 star
 (7)
2 star
 (1)
1 star
 (0)
Overall
4.3 (68 ratings)
5 star
 (35)
4 star
 (22)
3 star
 (9)
2 star
 (2)
1 star
 (0)
Story
4.6 (69 ratings)
5 star
 (45)
4 star
 (18)
3 star
 (5)
2 star
 (1)
1 star
 (0)
Performance
  •  
    Mike Naka VA 03-03-13
    Mike Naka VA 03-03-13 Member Since 2012

    Avid Zombie fan who's starting to listen to more and more Fantasy and Sci-Fi stories. So, my description is apt to change. Dog lover who's known to have cats. LOL C# coder, part-time prepper, B movie fan, AMC watcher, recovering but successful day trader, perpetual student, overjoyed uncle, former adrenaline junkie with a flare for cooking, and lots more. LOL

    HELPFUL VOTES
    221
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    66
    65
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    55
    18
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "imagine howard stern as a vampire"
    Any additional comments?


    bill was lured to a party by a hot chick only to be fed upon. when he wakes up as a vampire, he learns that he and the other geek vampires are going to be killed as a joke. somehow, bill is able to resist night razor's, the coven leader, compulsion and embarrasses him in front of everyone. before he can kill bill, the regional coven leader, ozymandias, overrules night razor and puts bill under a temporary protection order.

    sally, the girl that lured bill to the party, is ordered to show bill the ropes and teach him the coven's ways. night razor and the rest of the coven try to find loophole's in the temporary protective order and try to kill bill.

    under ozymandias' and sally's tutelage, they convince bill that he needs to live up to the bad a$$ reputation he created when he stood up to night razor on the night of his birth. so starts bill's like as a vampire. things get a little more complicated when ozymandias is sent away on a mission and bill realizes sally is more of a "frenemy" than he suspected.

    there are a lot of funny scenes: bill's 1st feeding, bill trying to convince one of his friends he's really a vampire, the way sally treats bill when they're away from other vampires, optimus prime as a weapon...

    narration is great. the narrator is the perfect fit for bill and sally.

    overall, a very fun ride. it's short and sweet.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jennifer Ewing, NJ, United States 03-16-13
    Jennifer Ewing, NJ, United States 03-16-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
    3
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    29
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Surprisingly good"

    Good self-deprecating, only moderately geeky main character was easy to like. Every time he did something ... or didn't do something , that could have lead to a hole in the plot, there was an "Oh yeah.." moment that brought things back to a logical conclusion. I'm also reading the Besty Vampire queen series, and they are similar in comic flavor.
    I say it's surprisingly good, because I only bought it for the low price tag.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    nell rayville, LA, United States 01-24-13
    nell rayville, LA, United States 01-24-13 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
    7
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    70
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "HOPE FOR MORE"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Bill the Vampire to be better than the print version?

    THIS IS ONE OF THE BEAT I HAVE IN MY COLLECTION. GREAT IN ALL WAYS NARRATION WAS PERFECT, STORY DID NOT STRAY AND A GREAT ENDING


    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    colleen ANCHORAGE, AK, United States 06-01-13
    colleen ANCHORAGE, AK, United States 06-01-13
    HELPFUL VOTES
    737
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    134
    81
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    364
    7
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Cute-almost funny"

    Great book for the young adult. Tries out an original story line but falls back on the old tried and true Vampire lore. Not a bad attempt. Not a thriller, Not that funny, just okay.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    TLing New Jersey 03-12-13
    TLing New Jersey 03-12-13 Member Since 2010
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    161
    9
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    3
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Incredible"

    This is the funniest book i have ever listened to in my life. I am serious. I could not stop laughing. I never knew it was possible to fit so much humor into a good story line. The writer is a genius.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Shawnda Albuquerque, NM, United States 01-27-13
    Shawnda Albuquerque, NM, United States 01-27-13 Member Since 2006
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    247
    4
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Laugh Out Loud!"
    If you could sum up Bill the Vampire in three words, what would they be?

    Funny, clever, awesome


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire?

    I love the banter between Bill, his roommates and Sally.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Not really a favorite scene but Bill's internal dialogue when hearing the coven names. I laughed out loud when he renames them.


    If you could take any character from Bill the Vampire out to dinner, who would it be and why?

    Bill - he's clever and hilarious. There would not be a dull moment.


    Any additional comments?

    Can't wait for the next book!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jennifer Pickering Western Washington, USA 03-11-13
    Jennifer Pickering Western Washington, USA 03-11-13 Member Since 2011

    Supernatural Fan. Lifelong audiophile.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    26
    6
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Total Dude Book - seriously."
    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire?

    When he realized he was the bomb


    Any additional comments?

    It took me a couple chapters to decide if I loved or hated the book. Then I realized what I was not sure about was the "total guy point of view". Once I excepted I was listening to a dude's point of view (his smelly gym socks and all) I found myself really rooting for him. Now I am on Team Bill...that stupid lovable bastard.

    3 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Colleen Terre Haute, IN, United States 06-08-13
    Colleen Terre Haute, IN, United States 06-08-13 Member Since 2012

    I'm an avid reader/listener, a disabled Navy veteran, an MBA student at University of Phoenix, and a wife & mother of 4 children.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    2
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    30
    5
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    0
    0
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Going to the top of my fav's list!"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes, I have already recommended this book, actually the entire series, to all of my friends and family!


    What did you like best about this story?

    This story is light and funny. There was never a dull moment and the geeky humor had me laughing out loud in public (which resulted in many curious glances from bystanders).


    What about Christopher John Fetherolf’s performance did you like?

    Mr Fetherolf is also going to the top of my favorite narrators list, just under Sean Runnette, Grover Gardener, and Amanda Ronconi!!


    Who was the most memorable character of Bill the Vampire and why?

    Well it is Bill, of course!!!


    Any additional comments?

    I truly loved this book, the story, the characters and the narrator!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dallas Holsworthy, Australia 06-07-13
    Dallas Holsworthy, Australia 06-07-13 Member Since 2011
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    10
    10
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Enjoyable light read"

    I really enjoyed this. Its witty and funny and great light bit of escapism. Great banter between the characters and Bill is a bit of a blokey sort of bloke. His thoughts on women really cracked me up a few times. Well worth it!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Toni Huntsville, AL, United States 06-02-13
    Toni Huntsville, AL, United States 06-02-13 Member Since 2009

    I heart scifi, and have become addicted to listening instead of reading, or even watching tv.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    75
    ratings
    REVIEWS
    111
    51
    FOLLOWERS
    FOLLOWING
    30
    2
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Pretty funny, very enjoyable"

    I enjoyed this book a lot. There were a few moments in the beginning before Bill is turned that made me wonder if I was going to be able to stand the guy. A bit over the top with his silliness and horniness. But, that cleared up as the story continued. Definitely worthy of a credit. I went on to listen to the second book, and it was really good too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Showing: 1-10 of 11 results PREVIOUS12NEXT

Report Inappropriate Content

If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.

CANCEL

Thank You

Your report has been received. It will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.