Marriage works only when each spouse takes the time to consider the other's needs and strives to meet them. In His Needs, Her Needs, Willard Harley identifies the ten most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to satisfy those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to extramarital affairs.
The revised anniversary edition of His Needs, Her Needs is a celebration of how the book has helped thousands of couples revitalize their marriages during the last 15 years. This best-seller identifies the causes of marital difficulties and instructs couples on how to prevent them, guiding them to build a relationship that sustains romance and increases intimacy. With today's soaring divorce rate and prevalence of affairs, Harley's insights are needed more than ever before.
The extra materials can be found here:
©2001 Willard F. Harley Jr. (P)2009 Baker Publishing Group
Some books are romantic some are spiritual, His Needs Her Needs is down right pragmatic. I read a few reviews from Amazon before using a credit on this just to be safe. They seemed to fall into two categories the larger by far was positive with many couples responding. The second was very negative and centered around religious or moral objections to the estimations of human nature made in the book.
HNHN certainly distills the romance out of marriage, and challenges modern concepts about what it means to be and stay in love, but despite this Harley is mostly right. The author suggests that everyone has a sub-contious love bank for which each person we meet has an account. By doing things which please us an individual's balance grows and our love for them deepens. By doing things which displease us our loved ones balance shrinks, and leaves us wanting. The author then identifies 10 of the most commons needs that go unmet as identified by his is counseling practice, 5 male and 5 female. A warning for the prude or romantic some the suggestions are sex, attractiveness and bringing home the bacon.
Some would say that the book is dated but I honestly think that if you follow the advice your marriage would be stronger, and more meaningful. I'm 26, fairly modern and in the two weeks since I've finished it my marriage has been improved by following the advice, further or relationship hasn't felt mechanical or forced or cheapened. A worth while read by that measure.
This book was recommended to my wife and me by a good friend of hers. We weren't exactly on the rocks or even discussing divorce, so while I thought some of the sections may not apply to me, they were quite insightful nonetheless. It really helped me step back and examine where I stood in our relationship and guage where I thought my wife was. We were then able to come together and have some very productive discussions. I'm not sure that this book would necessarily save a marriage that's inevitablly heading for divorce, but it sure helped me (and I think my wife too) think about things in a different way and today we have a stronger marriage because of it. I've actually listened to it 2 and a half times.
Both my husband and I listened to this book TWICE. It really makes sense, although with our family of 6 it would be impossible to do the alone time! It has helped our relationship. My husband would never see a counselor, but I convinced him to listen to this book after I had, After listening to it, we sat down and made a plan to help heal our relationship, then listened to the book again after we started. It offers practical guidance - you still have to do the work!!
The author was very clear, focusing on one topic at a time, telling lots of stories to make it interesting.
I thought the idea of a love bank was great.
The scenes where you see had the person put the same effort in their own marriage, as they did with someone else, things could have gone well.
Not really, but it really was very thoughtful and entertaining.
Learned a lot.
This is one of the better audio books I have listened to. My wife and I listened to and read this book together. Though practicing its principles, our marriage has dramatically improved.
Through reading this book, we have learned what is of most importance to each of us.
No, both have their own needs
The examples allows one to think about all relationships that they start and look out for signs that can lead too trouble
Marriage is work in progress, you need to work at it everyday, it does not just become great, but the little things that is done regularly sustains it, and enhances it.
This will help anyone identify and understand yours and your partners needs. I helped me to understand that its important to talk about your needs as well as understand that your partner will have needs you have to forfil.
Yes. Because there is a lot to apply.
Great book overall. There are some things that are said that I disagree with but the parts that are helpful make the book a great worthwhile read.
Thanks for the education. I wish I had heard this years ago. It's all of the little things that I never understood.
Yes - the information is very helpful and listening again for reminders and to have deeper discussion is critical to success
Good pace, not monitone or over dramatized.
All of it!!!!!!! We had fabulous discussions during the time we listened. We kept stopping it to answer the questions and relate. SO wonderful!
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