People - friends, family members, work colleagues, salespeople - lie to us all the time. Daily, hourly, constantly. None of us is immune, and all of us are victims. According to studies by several different researchers, most of us encounter nearly 200 lies a day. Now there’s something we can do about it. Liespotting links three disciplines - facial recognition training, interrogation training, and a comprehensive survey of research in the field - into a specialized body of information developed specifically to help business leaders detect deception and get the information they need to successfully conduct their most important interactions and transactions.
Some of the nation's leading business executives have learned to use these methods to root out lies in high stakes situations. Liespotting for the first time brings years of knowledge - previously found only in the intelligence community, police training academies, and universities - into the corporate boardroom, the manager's meeting, the job interview, the legal proceeding, and the deal negotiation.
©2010 Pamela Meyer (P)2012 Gildan Media, LLC
Ardent Audible listener with a long commute!
According to Pamela Meyer each person, on average, is subject to 200 lies - a day. I was astounded – I don’t see 200 people a day. Some days, I only see my family and my co-workers in the small branch office I work at.
Where are the lies? I started thinking about it: it happens when several of my Facebook friends ask to “Add my birthday.” They’ve been duped by an advertiser seeking personal information, and it gets passed along. The lies are in the ads I get to enlarge a certain body part. The products can’t work – I don’t even have the requisite body part. The lies are on CNN, Fox News, during interviews of people later found guilty of horrible crimes. And there are white lies I hear, when I ask my son or daughter how school was, and they say “fine” to deflect me from asking about an Algebra or Physics test they may have tanked. Sometimes, I’ll never find out things weren’t really “fine” – the test turned out well, and I’ll chalk the crankiness caused by stress for teenage hormones.
People lie, and Meyer’s book is a great guideline for realizing when that happens. I am a litigator, and I learned a lot of the techniques she outlines by years of experience. For example, if someone uses the phrase “To tell you the truth,” what comes out next usually isn’t the truth. It might have a little bit of truth, someplace, but it might be a complete fabrication. If someone smirks while testifying, they are lying and expect a judge or jury is too stupid to catch it.
I wish this book had been available 20 years ago.
This is a great book, but it's focus is lying in business and commerce. If your looking for knowledge in personal relationships this book has little information. Her delivery and insights are impressive if your using the information for business. I would buy her next audiobook on personal and everyday relationships if she were to write one, but at this point the techniques are of little value to me as I'm not in the commercial world looking for shonky business people.
A very long introduction and lots of views about when and where lies are okay and not okay. Lots of stories about people being lied to and how they handled it. A whole chapter on how a company might have a "trust audit" done by professionals. A chapter on having a group of people that give you advice.
It is more of a book that would help you track down other resources that, might, tell you how to spot lies.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. —Wayne Gretzky
When a book is title Liespotting you expect that the main focus of the book will be about lies right?
Maybe I was expecting too much after reading Joe's Navarro - "what every body is saying" but I was very disappointed.
To start this book make very big claims ,if not absurd ones, like you’ll be able to detect 95% of the lies you are told, or that after only 1 hour of training the principles of the book you be at least 25% better in detecting lies.
According to the book “what every body is saying” even trained FBI agents are no better than a coin toss.The scope of this book is also very narrow – few things about facial expression and about speech nothing about body language
LACK OF FOCUS
The Book is basically divided in 3 parts. The beginning has a lot of interesting but useless content such as statistics of which countries in the world have the biggest liars.
The middle is about detecting lies. Unfortunately the part that is supposed to be the main part of the book is full of little tips scattered around which makes really hard to grasp anything useful. And is only about 30% of the whole book.
The last part of the book remains to me a big mystery. Why the author decided to add tips on how to make a convincing presentation, or factors why an employee would be more inclined to cheat on reports or how to conduct an audit. I was expecting something that I can use on my interactions with normal people – I don’t own a company.
CHEAP PSYCHOLOGY AND FLAWED LOGIC
In the same way a bad psychologist might want to use this book to detect liars, someone who read it could prepare and be an undetectable lying machine. This is because of the “tips” the book gives such as –Liars use perfect grammar. You just can’t say if someone do X he is lying.
On the overall I would not recommend to skip this one and go straight to the What every body is saying.
I could not be more disappointed in this book. In short the interesting part of the book was filled with contradictions.
A light read of the book will appear informative, but the problem occurs when over several chapters the information on how to spot a lie is contradicted time and time again.
Later in the book the author reviews the need of businesses to have trained consultants conduct deception audits. I was left with the impression that the entire purpose of the book was so that the author could sell or recommend such services by saying "look I wrote the book on how to spot a lie"
I understand how some readers (especially small and medium business owners) might love the concept of being able to tell, or having a consultant tell them when someone is lying to them. However this book appears to me as dangerously painting a desire to know how to tell if someone is deceiving you, with a science.
If you are interested in exploring the subject I would recommend that you read.
"What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide"
As someone in a leadership position, this book was actually quite inspiring. Didn’t expect that. Too often people just avoid conflict and shut down a conversation because it’s awkward, when a good leader should be asking tough questions. This was a key value of the book as a tool for real people, and I was very impressed with these discussions.
If you’re flipping through the pages for the takeaways there's satisfaction to be found, but the book (smartly) emphasizes there’s no quick fix in spotting one “gotcha” facial tic, etc. Overall the book was an interesting mix of intuitive indicators about a liar's uncomfortable appearance and tell-tale signs you would never have considered. The lessons from FBI interrogators and Paul Ekman in particular were thorough and convincing. Bravo.
Research augments ability
This work is a fine overview of current deception detection theory. If applied carefully it can provide a basis for increasing your own natural deception spotting. While no technique is one hundred percent foolproof, if you already have some natural ability this can take you to the next level. That said, nothing new is presented here per se, it's simply the collected theory of many years of research presented more or less in one place.
Where the author's style comes through is in the notion that lie spotting is not best used when attempting to 'catch someone red handed' and show them up. Rather, it is intended to promote the realization that lying happens all the time. It's part of the fabric of our society. Rather than focusing on rooting out individual incidents, it's more productive to use it to promote a truthful atmosphere in all of your associations, and yourself and with it you can choose to surround yourself with people of integrity and honesty. That doesn't mean you'll never be lied to again, or even that there aren't good reasons for lying, but at least, you can be on your guard... and you can choose how to respond to deceptive situations.
How to look for suspicious behavior that may indicate lying.
Most: The couple of chapters that were about how to detect if somebody may be lying. Least: The lists of areas you could be deceived in corporate life.
Watch peoples overall mannerisms and not just in the moment.
The title should be changed to "Corporate areas of trust, and a couple of ways to tell if somebody may be lying to you." I was expecting the book to go into more detail about lie spotting.
The book was too business oriented for my liking.
It would depend on whether the topic interested me.
Some really glaring pronunciation mistakes, such as "irrevelant" instead of "irrelevant".
Her attempts at altering her voice to read excerpts from other sources sounded like a mom reading a bedtime story to her kids.
I was actually looking for personal level application more than professional.
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