From leading psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff comes a step-by-step guide explaining how to be more self-compassionate and achieve your dreams in life.
The relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion - and a tyrannical one at that. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a ping-pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.
Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. The feelings of security and self-worth provided by self-compassion are also highly stable, kicking in precisely when self-esteem falls down. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.
This groundbreaking work will show you how to let go of debilitating self-criticism and finally learn to be kind to yourself. Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff - the world's foremost expert on self-compassion - explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective. Engaging, highly readable, and eminently accessible, this book has the power to change your life.
©2011 Kristin Neff, Ph.D. (P)2011 HarperCollinsPublishers
There's some very important information in this book about how the need to be perfect fails us, how recognizing our weaknesses and failures is valuable, and generating self-compassion activates healthy physiological processes (compared to self-judging). However, I wonder if the average reader can pull those ideas out of the writing. I'm a therapist, and I have recommended this book to clients, but I spend some time outlining and preparing clients about the points above.
I've read Neff's research on resilience, and it's informed my therapy practice, as well as my own life. I'll continue to look for her work for sure.
This is a really really good book ... it's not a self help book ... it's written after years of study and personal experience ... i found so much sense and wisdom in the words of Dr.Neff ... i can honestly say it's one of the best books i have ever read on the subject ... it altered the way i see things drastically ... i feel happier and a better person after reading this book ... it's a book that one would listen to more than once ... recommended
I really enjoyed this book and got alot out of it. It would have to be the first self help type book I have read where the author shares her stories thereby clearing making her point about us all being imperfect. I liked how the book contained her thoughts but also research that has been conducted. I would recommend everyone read this book.
By far this is the best self-help and self-development book, I listened. Totally honestly, this audiobook is a must if you have ever listened to people like Anthony Robbins, and other motivational speakers out there.
I was shaken by every section of this book especially the Self-Esteem section. I always knew that being untruthful to yourself was not good, yet I failed to understand why? This book just awakened the deeply rooted darkness in my psyche. Those who bought on the idea of self-esteem must listen to this. Thank you Mrs. Neff, you are such a light in this world. This book undoubtedly is your life's mission.
The best self-help book ever. Once again thank you Mrs. Neff.
This book & the techniques taught have tremendously improved my well being. I was raised in a highly critical environment, where I was criticized for which movie I watched (because I had already seen it before), which sport I wanted to play (because I didn't have natural ability), and more recently, going back to graduate school ("your life will be better if you stay in your job"). I internalized this criticism and I have dealt with depression and anxiety for the majority of my life. By relating to myself with compassion, I am happier because I now know am not at fault for every struggle in my life. I am also more resilient because I do not attack myself & get caught in a negative spiral when I make mistakes. I am more productive in my work and more present for my life.
I wish I had learned these techniques as a 12-year-old, but I am so glad to have learned them now. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a negative dialogue inside their mind on a regular basis. I am grateful for Kristen Neff's work.
not a lot
needed a "wow, i did not know that" factor
very pleasing narrative
remined me not to be so critical of myself
This is one of the best books I have ever read! It IS life-changing!
In Self-Compassion, Dr. Neff provides us with a detailed, practical guide to having compassion for ourselves and for appreciating ourselves. She helps us become aware of and put an end to our debilitating, destructive habits of self-criticism, and she helps us create a warm, loving, caring space for ourselves. Throughout her book, Dr. Neff supports her messages with numerous, interesting studies and research. She takes her message further and deeper by sharing her own personal stories, so we may directly relate to her messages. Finally, throughout Self-Compassion, Dr. Neff provides countless practical exercises, so we may take practical steps to implementing change in our lives.
I highly recommend this book!!!
In order for me to find Dr. Neff and this extraordinary book, it first took finding the works of Thich Nhat Hanh, Jon Kabat-Zinn and his Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course, Christine Carter's book Raising Happiness and her online Greater Good Science Center, and Sharon Salzberg's books Lovingkindness and The Kindness Handbook. I highly recommend all of these; however, Dr. Neff's Self-Compassion has been most helpful in changing the way I think and relate to myself. As Dr. Neff describes, this is a similar concept to flight attendants asking us, in the event of an emergency, to first put on our masks before assisting children or those in need of help - we must care for ourselves before we can be most effective in our daily lives and in helping others.
She has a calm, relaxing voice, that nicely complements the concepts she is sharing.
How to care for myself and how to use that care to create wellness, peace and love in my life and in my actions towards others.
Yes, I thought it was very helpful. Even though I didn't do all of the exercises, simply hearing this new perspective was immensely helpful for me to be less self-critical. I believe that my overall sense of self has improved and I have less anxious episodes caused by self-judgement and doubt.
Yes, though I found the narrator's voice slightly ingratiating - she had one of those voices that sounds almost too soft and pandering, like she is trying really hard to sound gentle instead of just speaking like a normal person. I wish she had just spoken in a straightforward manner.
The passionate approach to the topic, very direct and to the point. Told in a very convincing fashion.
Kristin explaining her personal life journey, her struggles and accomplishments.
To be less judgmental and less self critical and to treat myself with more self compassion, more love and respect and except my failings and the failings of others.
This book is full of a lot of helpful information about human behavior! I could go on but very very well done!! A++
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