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Bill the Vampire | [Rick Gualtieri]
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Bill the Vampire

  • UNABRIDGED
  • by Rick Gualtieri
  • Narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf
  • Whispersync for Voice-ready
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  • Regular Price :$19.95
  • Whispersync for Voice

    Listen to Bill the Vampire, then pick up right where you left off with the Kindle book. Learn more

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  • Average Customer Rating
  • Overall
    (52)
    Performance
    (52)
    Story
    (52)
 
  • LENGTH
    6 hrs and 51 mins
  • RELEASE DATE
    01-21-13
  • AUDIO FORMATS
    About Audio Formats
    2 3 4 Enhanced Audio
 

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Publisher's Summary

There are reasons we fear the night. He isn't one of them.

Bill Ryder was a dateless dweeb...then he died. Unfortunately for him that was just the beginning of his troubles. He awoke to find himself a vampire, one of the legendary predators of the night. Unfortunately for him, he was still at the bottom of the food chain.

Now he finds himself surrounded by creatures stronger, deadlier and a whole lot cooler than he is. Worst yet, they all want him dead...permanently this time.

Bill isn't exactly average, though. A vampire like him hasn't been seen in centuries. He's got a few tricks up his sleeve, unlikely allies, and an attitude problem that makes him too damn obnoxious to quit.

Join him in this hilarious tale of monsters, mayhem, and the unlikely hero who's not afraid to tell them all off...even if it gets his teeth kicked in.

©2011, 2012 Rick Gualtieri (P)2012 Rick Gualtieri

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (52 ratings)
5 star
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Overall
4.3 (52 ratings)
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4.5 (52 ratings)
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Performance
  •  
    Mike Naka VA 03-03-13
    Mike Naka VA 03-03-13 Member Since 2012

    Avid Zombie fan who's starting to listen to more and more Fantasy and Sci-Fi stories. So, my description is apt to change. Dog lover who's known to have cats. LOL C# coder, part-time prepper, B movie fan, AMC watcher, recovering but successful day trader, perpetual student, overjoyed uncle, former adrenaline junkie with a flare for cooking, and lots more. LOL

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    Performance
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    "imagine howard stern as a vampire"
    Any additional comments?


    bill was lured to a party by a hot chick only to be fed upon. when he wakes up as a vampire, he learns that he and the other geek vampires are going to be killed as a joke. somehow, bill is able to resist night razor's, the coven leader, compulsion and embarrasses him in front of everyone. before he can kill bill, the regional coven leader, ozymandias, overrules night razor and puts bill under a temporary protection order.

    sally, the girl that lured bill to the party, is ordered to show bill the ropes and teach him the coven's ways. night razor and the rest of the coven try to find loophole's in the temporary protective order and try to kill bill.

    under ozymandias' and sally's tutelage, they convince bill that he needs to live up to the bad a$$ reputation he created when he stood up to night razor on the night of his birth. so starts bill's like as a vampire. things get a little more complicated when ozymandias is sent away on a mission and bill realizes sally is more of a "frenemy" than he suspected.

    there are a lot of funny scenes: bill's 1st feeding, bill trying to convince one of his friends he's really a vampire, the way sally treats bill when they're away from other vampires, optimus prime as a weapon...

    narration is great. the narrator is the perfect fit for bill and sally.

    overall, a very fun ride. it's short and sweet.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jennifer Ewing, NJ, United States 03-16-13
    Jennifer Ewing, NJ, United States 03-16-13 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Surprisingly good"

    Good self-deprecating, only moderately geeky main character was easy to like. Every time he did something ... or didn't do something , that could have lead to a hole in the plot, there was an "Oh yeah.." moment that brought things back to a logical conclusion. I'm also reading the Besty Vampire queen series, and they are similar in comic flavor.
    I say it's surprisingly good, because I only bought it for the low price tag.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jennifer Pickering Western Washington, USA 03-11-13
    Jennifer Pickering Western Washington, USA 03-11-13 Member Since 2011

    Supernatural Fan. Lifelong audiophile.

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    "Total Dude Book - seriously."
    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire?

    When he realized he was the bomb


    Any additional comments?

    It took me a couple chapters to decide if I loved or hated the book. Then I realized what I was not sure about was the "total guy point of view". Once I excepted I was listening to a dude's point of view (his smelly gym socks and all) I found myself really rooting for him. Now I am on Team Bill...that stupid lovable bastard.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    nell rayville, LA, United States 01-24-13
    nell rayville, LA, United States 01-24-13 Member Since 2009
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "HOPE FOR MORE"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Bill the Vampire to be better than the print version?

    THIS IS ONE OF THE BEAT I HAVE IN MY COLLECTION. GREAT IN ALL WAYS NARRATION WAS PERFECT, STORY DID NOT STRAY AND A GREAT ENDING


    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    TLing New Jersey 03-12-13
    TLing New Jersey 03-12-13 Member Since 2010
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    "Incredible"

    This is the funniest book i have ever listened to in my life. I am serious. I could not stop laughing. I never knew it was possible to fit so much humor into a good story line. The writer is a genius.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dieter Canada 03-11-13
    Dieter Canada 03-11-13 Member Since 2010
    ratings
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    "Very entertaining"
    What did you love best about Bill the Vampire?

    Don't want to ruin this audio book for anyone, so wont talk about it per say. But the narrator fit the book. The story kept me going along. And Above all, it was very amusing to go through.


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Shawnda Albuquerque, NM, United States 01-27-13
    Shawnda Albuquerque, NM, United States 01-27-13 Member Since 2006
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laugh Out Loud!"
    If you could sum up Bill the Vampire in three words, what would they be?

    Funny, clever, awesome


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Bill the Vampire?

    I love the banter between Bill, his roommates and Sally.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Not really a favorite scene but Bill's internal dialogue when hearing the coven names. I laughed out loud when he renames them.


    If you could take any character from Bill the Vampire out to dinner, who would it be and why?

    Bill - he's clever and hilarious. There would not be a dull moment.


    Any additional comments?

    Can't wait for the next book!

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
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