Welcome to the world of She Comes First, where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of the female orgasm, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it's coreplay: simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response.
Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for consistently satisfying a woman and step-by-step instructions to ensure success. These simple methods represent a new era in sexual intimacy, one in which the exchange of pleasure occurs on a level playing field and fulfillment is mutual.
She Comes First exuberantly offers a fresh new sexual philosophy that inspires every man to make a mantra of Rhett Butler's infamous line to Scarlett O'Hara, "You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."
For Adults Only: You must be 18 years or older to purchase.
Find out what else is on Ian Kerner's mind in this interview with the author.
©2004 Ian Kerner; (P)2005 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
"An entire book written strictly for the pleasure of women by a man. Hallelujah!" (Playgirl)
All superlatives aside and not to put too fine a point on it, but the theory and practice learned in She Comes First revitalized sex for my wife and I in such a dramatic way that I still have a hard time believing it. Once a month, routine and hardly satisfactory sex changed entirely overnight into all day exchanges of filthy text messages, difficulty keeping our hands off one another and nights of intense, deeply passionate sex and it's all thanks to this amazing and exceptionally specific manual to master the female orgasm. Other books focused on sexuality make vague suggestions that you could come to on your own. She Comes First lays it all out there and is a path to better sex and a deeper level of intimacy.
This book is quite amazingly good at just what it says. You'll get a lot of fact, and be left to develop it how you choose. No more search for the magic buttons, or a ten-step program for orgasm. I'm glad he doesn't insult me by trying to give me a script to follow, and Ian also manages to make the presentation quite fun, if a little eerily motivational speaker-esque at times -- this man needs to be put on a ration plan for exclamation points.
I think perhaps the most ringing endorsement I can make is that I would never, ever listen to this with my girlfriend or spouse. I'm not embarrassed easily, but I spent most of the time listening a brilliant shade of salmon. I think I'm better for the experience, though.
The only thing I regret is that there's an almost negative tone regarding genital sexual intercourse. I know it's not what the book is about, and I accept that, but I don't think he needed to be that negative about what is for many women a fun and viable way to achieve sexual gratification and yes, orgasm. Normally I'm put off by a "whatever works for you" approach in a sex book, so I appreciate the vehemence, but I would have moderated the tone a bit.
Still, all in all, a fascinating read.
I was not sure what to expect, but found the book easy to listen to, easy to understand...and, most important, helpful ;-) when it counted. I would have preferred a different narrator as the author does not have the best reading voice...and at moments seems to go a little over the top in trying to make the topic "sexy" (as if it needed any help on that point).
Vedic Meditation Teacher / Business Consultant / Mother of Five / Storyteller / Enjoyer of Life
She Comes First should be used as a mandatory sex education class for Freshmen college students. Parents should listen/read this book so they better know how to talk to their children regarding family sex education. This book clearly and calmly walks the reader through old-miss information to what science has confirmed regarding human sexuality. As a woman I now have a "definition of terms" creating a scientifically based frame work to understand my own sexual experiences. I can't thank the author enough for this gift of knowledge. As a woman, I have been embarrassed for how long it takes me to orgasm. Now I understand that myself and my lovers simply lacked a proper understanding of the stages of arousal, climax, and return to a pre-arousal state that most women experience. And understanding the brain chemistry as to why men sleep after sex is liberating for both men & women. Whether or not you enjoy oral sex, reading this book makes you feel more comfortable about your own unique journey to experience bliss through sex. Woman are in the process of reclaiming our unique feminine energy and this book goes a long way to giving women confidence to relax and enjoy themselves and gives men what they have always wanted - terms & explanations to understand What Woman Want (Need). Thank you.
I've been married 24 years to an RN and have a Biology degree but still learned ALOT. Not just techniques (although Kathy enjoyed them!) but enlightened me on just how marvelous the female body truly is. A MUST "read" for ANY man ready to take responsility for serving his lover FIRST.
I wondered what my friends would think if I told them I read this book. There are pretty much two answers: First- The men usually tell me they already know ALL about this sort of thing. On the other hand, women are absolutely impressed and want to know more. It's weird because their reactions are WAY more positive than I could have imagined. Not only are they curious about what I now know, they want a copy of the book for themselves. The men; they still don't get it (but I do!).
Once the listener of She Comes First gets past the author's nonchalant tone of speaking about such a difficult subject, there is so much to learn. I think everything is in this book- somewhere, which brings me to my only problem. I've listened to parts of this book 5 times, and I still can't find a great point in the book in which I can quickly review what I've learned (like on my way to my girlfriend's house). It seems that much of the information is spread throughout the book, so it takes time to pick up the finer points.
The information is in depth; from talking about discussions about transmissible diseases, to the female scent, whether cunalingus is okay while she is menstruating, to how sexual tension plays into the bedroom starting before being undressed and etc. I considered myself to be somewhat advanced and I more than quadrupled what I know about a woman; in fact, I would bet I now know more about a woman than she typically knows about herself!
This book is a must buy for any true man. The women in your life will thank you in ways that make you feel as though you were the last man on earth!
If you get this audio book, if you want to skip to the good part, start the book at the 3-hr 2-min mark and get a taste. Then go back from the start and enjoy.
I was a 42 year old "virgin" to oral sex. I listened to this book and even told my girlfriend about it. She dismissed it as hooy. Then I actually mustered the courage to try it out on her and she called me a liar. She said there is no way I could have learned what I did to her from a book. We are now listening to it together and having a very enjoyable time. Thanks, Ian, for wrighting such a helpful book.
Just when you thought I knew it all... I found this book to be well written and tasteful (no pun intended). The author did a good job of presenting the subject matter in a very straightforward and easy to understand way. I learned things about the female anatomy that I had never heard of before and other things became clearer. I would recommend this title to those in a monogamous and secure relationship that want to improve their intimacy. Well done treatise of a delicate and not much talked about subject. I have tried some of the techniques and found them to be very useful.
I got this book the day it came to my local bookstore. It was worth it! After my husband read it, I got a lot out of it :) So, I have it now on Audibles and will listen with hubby which should lead to great conversations and more... This is really great for those stuck in a rut, or looking for new techniques, or just trying something to add a bit (I mean a great deal) of SPICE to a relationship.
I bought this a year ago, and I have to say it wrecked my wife's and my rhythm. Not because what he says isn't worthwhile, but because I had internalized the message years ago in highschool and college all on my own. Basically, this is a book about the three tricks to a pleasurable sexual relationship: 1)Cunnilingus. 2)Cunnilingus. 3)Cunnilingus. He goes on and on ad nauseum regarding why a man should do it, about how to do it, and what the best technique is which coincidentally is his own style and technique, and it is always the same. Over and over. The author is a sex therapist, go figure. So, if you are a beginner or you are looking for a better way because what you are doing now is ineffective, this book is for you. Read it, internalize it, and use it in your next encounter. But if you already are in a committed relationship, and 'she comes first' is already your philosophy, and you are great at cunnilingus, don't read this book. It will only mess your mind up as you go down. I started second-guessing, over-analyzing, and losing interest. It's been a year now, and I just realized what the issue has been. My mojo's broke. So now I am trying to forget the contents of this book and approach things in the old way, which my wife, I am sure, will appreciate.
Report Inappropriate Content
If you find this review inappropriate and think it should be removed from our site, let us know. This report will be reviewed by Audible and we will take appropriate action.