Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to best-selling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Johnson shares her groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships.
The message of Hold Me Tight is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, making grand romantic gestures, or experimenting with new sexual positions. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are emotionally attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent for nurturing, soothing, and protection.
Dr. Johnson teaches that the way to enhance or save a relationship is to be open, attuned, and responsive to each other and to reestablish emotional connection. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship - from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogues" to "Forgiving Injuries" - and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations. These conversations give you insight into the defining moments in your relationship and guide you in reshaping these moments to create a secure and lasting bond.
©2008 Dr. Sue Johnson; (P)2008 Brilliance Audio
Susan Johnson's book "Hold me tight" gives a wonderful and crystal clear introduction to emotionally focused couples therapy, and it is in fact the best book I have ever read on couples therapy. And I have read lots of books on this topic the last ten years!! "Hold me tight" has changed my way of working with couples and it has had positive and important impact on my personal life, too. I really recommend it to everybody, even those who are single at the moment!
As Susan Johnsen says: This approach works for truck drivers as well as for lawyers. As a Norwegian psychologist and family therapist I will add: It even works for Norwegians, these shy vikings, who doesn't show too much emotion ;-)
My husband and I have a great relationship, but I've always wanted us to be able to communicate better about things like finances and household responsibilities. It seems as though those topics always end in an argument. It's amazing how this book has definitely changed the way we talk and interact with each other. Now that I've listened to "Hold Me Tight," my husband is going to listen to it and we're going to work through the sections together. Not only has it improved our relationship, but it's also affected my relationships with my parents, sisters, and friends. It leaves you wanting all the people in your life who are struggling in a relationship, to go through these 7 conversations with their loved one. Life-changing...
The narration is wonderful! I have found in this book "Hold Me Tight" a wonderful new perspective on how to talk to my mate in a positive way regarding feelings and how not to end up in the all so continuious circle of blame, anger and shut down game that always happens in what was suppose to be talk about what I am feeling and how I NEED MY MATE. If you are a couple and are looking for a way to covey your truest feelings and emotions this is the book for you and how to do it without a fight. To talk about how & what you feel to get your message across without all the unnessary hurt it utltametly ends up in with one person angry and the other walking away with the issue not being solved in the first place. You learn how to tell your mate what is on your mind without accusations or conflicts that you love them and want them to be there for you in the way you need them, how you want to be loved so you can have a long lasting relationship for the rest of your life. This a 10 in my opinion for any person in any relationship-married, ingaged, gay or otherwise. You won't be disappointed!!!
I think the ideas are very useful for any relationship. I'm glad I listened to the book for this, but the writing and the delivery made me feel like I'm in kindergarten class which was most irritating. But, it was still well worth hanging in there for the valuable concepts and ideas.
This and others together help you understand common pitfalls and communcation faults which are really a big part of relationship troubles. Do listen and get what you can from this and the other common self relationship help books. They all add up to informing you and enlighting you and can help. Go for it.
I think she hit the nail on the head, that attachment is the basis of all relationships and the security one feels in those relationships reflects how one feels about the other person in the relationship.
Meaningful, Palpable, Useful!
An actual self help book that has substance and can help! I am a Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst, and am generally not impressed by self help books, but this one actually allows one to use some general principals and tailor the solutions to one's own marriage or relationship for deep, and long lasting changes. Debra A. Hill, M.D., Laguna Hills, CA
Excellent reader. Clearly a professional!
I liked the description of the emotional dances called "Find the Bad Guy," or the "Protest Polka," or "Freeze and Flee." By giving these names to the "demon dialogues" as the author calls them, it gives a couple the opportunity to unite against these "demons" by giving them a name. When two people are united against something, it propels them to want to work together to avoid the problems, and takes the blaming away. I loved the premise that troubles in the relationships are linked back to a break in the safe feeling of attachment to one another, because that safe attached feeling is what love is really all about! When that is threatened, we become scared and angry, want to plead for attention, and if it happens over and over again, we freeze up our feelings and flee. Through the seven suggested conversations, the author shows how to get through these tough experiences to reconnect, heal and feel a "lifetime of love."
None of the other marriage books make any sense. Once you read this one, it stands head and shoulders above all of the others. There's a lot in it, and it can be a rather emotional experience for one to read the book, as the reader will see many examples of dialogue between couples that are very real and palpable that they will no doubt relate to that were painful when they themselves were in the midst of them. It's a good idea to take it slow, and read the book several times to take it all in. It is an excellent adjunct to being in couples therapy and I use it all of the time in my own private practice. Debra A. Hill, M.D., Laguna Hills, CA
I found the to be great content. But not being able to underline, not being able to easily go back and read previous pages while thinking about the exercises, made this a real limitation on audio book. If this is your only way to get this material, grab it. Otherwise grab a "BOOK" copy and thumb it madly.
So far this has been the most informative read to date on the subject of attachment theory...
Accept...it also deals with attachment theory/stiles.
Demon dialogue is a bad habit to get in but can be turned into productive secure communication if the hard work is done.
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