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Your Sparkle Cavalcade of Death
- Narrated by: Jon Koons, Madison Micucci
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
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Your Sparkle Cavalcade of Death
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Publisher's summary
The cult classic Your Sparkle Cavalcade of Death gets a new life as an astonishing audiobook by JestMaster Audio. An incredibly funny and outrageously impertinent story, it will have you alternately laughing and grimacing every step of the way. This audiobook spectacular is narrated by both a male and a female narrator, who, between then, create around 50 distinctive characters and voices. Music and thrilling sound effects enhance the performances, and make this a truly unique and unforgettable listening experience.
WARNING (as promised): This book is as far from PC as you can get these days, and breaks every taboo imaginable. Written in a different era, it contains wanton acts of lust, sexual perversities, incest, underage sex, the defiling of a priest, murder, violence, bigotry, near-bestiality, drunken revelry, drugs, police brutality, and more. It is also brilliantly written and funny as hell, with incredible characters, situations, and plot twists. If you love to laugh, and don’t get offended easily (or possibly at all), this is the book you’ve been waiting for.
Critic reviews
“Robert Shiarella’s Your Sparkle Cavalcade of Death combines all the bizarre elements of broadcasting and burlesque in a funny, crazy, sexy tale of the first electrocution to be telecast on prime time. Shiarella satirizes violent death as the profitable, pornographic vaudeville it has become in our culture. (Penthouse Magazine)
“This novel is the epitome of black humor/satire that has a cult following and appears on several lists of the best Best Books of the past hundred years. It's about a sad sack loser named Lewd Noogie, whose wife has novuplets - a world record nine babies - all of whom Lewd accidentally kills. His execution is broadcast worldwide in a lavish TV Special sponsored by Sparkle Wax. The show features a humongously devastating finale, with endless hilarious outrages all along the way, from cover to cover.” (OpenLiberary.org)
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 36
Weighing in at 320 pounds, Winston "Tuffy" Foshay, is an East Harlem denizen who breaks jaws and shoots dogs and dreams of millions from his idea, Cap'n Crunch: The Movie, starring Danny DeVito. His best friend is a disabled Muslim who wants to rob banks, his guiding light is an ex-hippie Asian woman who worked for Malcolm X, and his wife, Yolanda, he married from jail over the phone. Shrewdly comical as this dazzling novel is, it turns acerbically sublime when the frustrated Tuffy agrees to run for City Council.
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5 out of 5 stars
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High Larry Us!
- By Amazon Customer on 07-24-23
By: Paul Beatty
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Ghostbusters
- The Original Movie Novelizations Omnibus
- By: Richard Mueller, Ed Naha
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,156
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,026
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,019
For the first time in a beautiful new edition, this omnibus will collect together the original official novelizations of both Ghostbusters 1 and 2.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I personally loved it.
- By brian stevens on 08-19-20
By: Richard Mueller, and others
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Devil in a Blue Dress
- An Easy Rawlins Mystery
- By: Walter Mosley
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,313
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,831
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,820
Los Angeles, 1948: Easy Rawlins is a black war veteran just fired from his job at a defense plant. Easy is drinking in a friend's bar, wondering how he'll meet his mortgage, when a white man in a linen suit walks in, offering good money if Easy will simply locate Miss Daphne Money, a blonde beauty known to frequent black jazz clubs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Beware of Mysterious Sexy Women with Big Suitcases
- By Jefferson on 02-13-11
By: Walter Mosley
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The Recognitions
- By: William Gaddis
- Narrated by: Nick Sullivan
- Length: 47 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 219
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 175
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Story4 out of 5 stars 176
Wyatt Gwyon's desire to forge is not driven by larceny but from love. Exactingly faithful to the spirit and letter of the Flemish masters, he produces uncannily accurate "originals" - pictures the painters themselves might have envied. In an age of counterfeit emotion and taste, the real and fake have become indistinguishable; yet Gwyon's forgeries reflect a truth that others cannot touch - cannot even recognize.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Breathtaking, Dizzying, Stimulating, Funny
- By andrew on 11-17-10
By: William Gaddis
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Cop Hater
- 87th Precinct Series, Book 1
- By: Ed McBain
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 467
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 414
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 411
When a sniper begins gunning down cops from the 87th Precinct in cold blood, it’s up to Detective Steve Carella to solve the case. With three cops already dead, Carella delves into the city’s underworld to search for the killer.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Dang, it's about time for the 87th Precinct
- By Eric J. Toll on 05-17-14
By: Ed McBain
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79 Park Avenue
- By: Harold Robbins
- Narrated by: Julia Duvall, Rick Slade
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 192
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 173
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 174
79 Park Avenue starts on the seedy streets of inner New York City and ends on luxurious Park Avenue. Over time Marja claws her way from street urchin to stripper, ultimately becoming the madam of a Mob-owned pleasure empire. Marja--now known as Maryann--provides access to the city's most exciting and sensual escorts. But when Maryann runs afoul of the law, endangering her empire and angering the Mob, she must face an ambitious prosecutor who stands to benefit by bringing down the call-girl ring.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good novel from 65 years ago!
- By Wayne on 08-27-20
By: Harold Robbins
What listeners say about Your Sparkle Cavalcade of Death
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Krafty
- 12-06-22
Quirky Characters and Story brought to life
This bizarre, irreverent and completely inappropriate cult tale of sex, murder, incest, and ultimate total destruction is masterfully wordsmithed by Robert Shiarella. I had to listen to some parts twice, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! His otherworldly underworld could only be brought to life by an eclectic talent, and Jon Koons fits the bill, deftly birthing unique, consistent and memorable characters with his specific vocal choices. In this multi-cast, Madison Micucci’s comic tone also perfectly suits the style. JestMaster Audio adds music and sound effects to (what is truly) this cavalcade without being overbearing. This is a an anarchistic must listen, a real feat of imagination, whose heightened dementedness somehow still speaks truth about the human condition, a sadistic story well narrated.
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