Unmasked

My Life Solving America's Cold Cases

By: Paul Holes, Robin Gaby Fisher

Narrated by: Paul Holes

Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins

Publisher's summary

2022 Audible.com Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Hudson Booksellers Best of the Year, Long-listed
2022 Amazon.com Best Books of the Year, Long-listed

This program is read by the author.

From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America’s toughest cold cases and the rewards–and toll–of a life solving crime.

I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don’t even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I’m drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can’t shake.

Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession. People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I’ve had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It’s only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.

When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.

But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It’s something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. “I don’t know if I can solve your case,” I whisper. “But I promise I will do my best.”

It is a promise I know I can keep.

A Macmillan Audio production from Celadon Books

©2022 Paul Holes (P)2022 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"[Paul Holes's] memoir grabs its reader in a stranglehold and proves more fascinating than fiction and darker than any noir narrative."
—Los Angeles Magazine

"Fans of true crime will love every page of Unmasked. It is a wildly engaging and painfully honest read that will appeal to anyone curious about the lives of those who pursue justice for voiceless victims."
—San Francisco Chronicle

"An exceptional memoir... his unflinching look at the emotional toll the more than 27 years he spent working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area took on him and his family distinguishes this from similar true crime narratives."
—Publishers Weekly, starred review

Bra---vo!!

So many thoughts, I hardly know where to begin. This is one gem of a book by not only a master investigator and analyst driven by the passion to get justice for victims and their families, but a master author as well. So much so that this book needs to come with a warning. If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks, have all your coping skills ready because Paul Holes' expert description of his will....trigger yours. This is one amazingly compelling book even if you knew nothing of EAR or the Golden State Killer, but if you are obsessed with crime shows, having this author share first hand the journey and all that went into solving this decades-long reign of terror, you will not be able to hit pause until you get to the end. There are so many bonus bits and pieces to ponder that you come away exhausted because you feel like you rode shotgun feeling and suffering all the personal and professional setbacks as well. There are 3 women who deserve special recognition as well. Both of Hole's wives deserve a lot of credit for holding the fort down at home. Not only did Holes make a lot of significant, personal sacrifices, but so did both spouses. Finally, without Michelle's reporting and negotiating skills, this serial killer might never have been figured out to this day or ever. The author's narration was also flawless and as smooth as Keith Morrison's! Bra---vo and thank you for all the endless work that went into this book, capturing pure evil and sharing the relentless dedication and ever evolving science required to make it happen.

Fascinating and Personal

Paul Holes narrates his own memoir in a personal and interesting display from a normally quiet and private man. I listen to his podcast with Billy Jensen and was surprised at how open he is about his personal life in this book. He goes over information about the Golden State Killer and other investigations that I never knew before. All in all, worth a listen, and, while I wouldn’t listen to him narrate other audiobooks, it was good to hear him tell his own story.

Loved it.

If you’re a fan of true crime and familiar with Paul, you will love this book. It is a perfect blend of personal memoir and the most significant cases of his career. I loved it, however I can see that to someone unfamiliar with Paul’s speech and vocal patterns, the audiobook might not be their cup of tea. His speech is very precise, and it can come across as someone “reading” rather than telling a story. But if you’ve listened to his podcast, you’ll know that’s just how he speaks. I had no problem with it, and liked getting his story, in his words, in his voice. Can’t rate it highly enough.

Loved it

Inside scoop on many notorious cold cases and insights into the life of a cold case investigator.

Loved it!

I'm recommend this for true crime fans everywhere! I found the casework fascinating, but it was also super interesting hearing about Paul's life and career. And it was nice to hear it in Paul's voice!

Loved hearing this story from Paul’s perspective

I blasted through this book in less than two days. Despite the fact that I have read other books on the topic of the Golden State killer, I really enjoyed hearing the story from Paul’s perspective. I’ve also listened to several interviews with Paul, but even still this version of the story is fascinating. Especially heartbreaking was the story of the toll his cases took on his personal life. It was courageous for him to address this topic, and I think it could be helpful to others who are similarly engrossed in their careers.

Hot for Holes!

Loved this book, especially as read by the author. He is amazing to listen to and has done amazing work for victims and their families. I have followed his interviews, podcasts, and books, this was a great recap and glimpse into how his career and life have played out. Hope there is more to come, but not at the expense of family time or his mental health. Great job, Mr Holes!

I need more!

I’m a fan of MFM/murder squad and have listened to the audible original on GSK as well as I’ll be gone in the dark. I loved listening to Paul’s take on his career in mainly working to solve GSK but I still want more! More stories from his career, more interesting cases! Guess he’ll have to write another one!

I also loved his personal stories about his family and marriages. Very relatable and understandable. But.. please write another book Paul. I need more stories.

Riveting!

Wow! I was on the edge of my seat with each word! I’ve been a huge true crime and Paul Holes fan for many years, and I loved hearing his story and genuine passion. Thank you for this!

Fascinating, couldn’t stop listening

First and foremost, I’m a big Paul Holes fan and have followed the EAR case for years. Usually I put on an audio book for background noise, but I was fully engrossed in this book. Absolutely suggest listening if you’re a true crime fan. #HotForHoles lives on!