The New Rules of Marriage

What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

By: Terrence Real

Narrated by: Marc Cashman

Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins

Publisher's summary

In this extraordinary audiobook, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and best-selling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren’t crazy - you’re right! Women have changed in the last 25 years - they have become powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet many men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don’t know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.

Enter the good news: In this revolutionary audiobook, Real offers women a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationship that they desire and deserve. He guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner.

We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.

©2007 Terrence Real (P)2007 Books on Tape

Critic reviews

“Terry Real helps overturn old-fashioned, confining roles and opens up a treasury of hope for lasting and exciting intimacy for couples everywhere. This is a wonderful, joyful, and highly useful book.” (Edward Hallowell, MD, author of Crazy Busy)

“Falling in love is easy, staying in love is another matter. Couples yearning for more closeness are truly in uncharted territory...until now, that is. This book offers amazing new insights about men and women and what it takes to make relationships work in our ever-changing culture.” (Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, author of Divorce Busting)

“If you’re tired of the same old dance, get ready to learn a few new steps - real steps - the ones that will make a difference in your life and the lives of those you love.” (Cheryl Richardson, author of Life Makeovers)

great insight - well done

Would you consider the audio edition of The New Rules of Marriage to be better than the print version?

don't know

What did you like best about this story?

great real life examples

What does Marc Cashman bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

can't read a book in the car

What insight do you think you’ll apply from The New Rules of Marriage?

how to bring up a conflict in a non-threating way, express where it lead your thinking, express how it made you feel, ask for what you would like. Then let it go.
Last part is the hardest - not to be attached to the outcome

Feedback

Ummm
The book is a must read for all couples who r still married or were married. The author was bold outright and in your face on identifying painful issues.

I liked it and when I found out Terence was from NJ - same here - I liked it even better.

I just ended an engagement 2 marriage - we lived together for 2.5 yrs. The book was recommended to me by my therapist right after the break up.

It was a godsend.
I passed the book along to 5 friends.

Defn a must read.

A. Simmons

I've read a lot

This is one of the best. His work is founded upon Pia Mellody. Very practical.

The best relationship book I’ve ever heard!

Professional, easily understood with good examples and a pleasure to listen too. I will listen to it again.

Great book

Lots of great informations and tool to use to strengthen and improve marriages . Loved it

Changed my marriage!

My wife and I struggled for years with what seemed like insurmountable issues in our marriage. So many deep seeded hurts and scars. We were on the verge of divorce when we started looking for counselors, and had little success for a good long while. We finally found a great counselor that recommended this book right away. Things turned around for us in weeks! It's amazing hearing our struggles echoed through the author's case study's. The book opened our eyes to the real struggle behind our issues. We learned how to see each other in a whole new light. This book gave us the tools we so desperately needed to finally understand each other, and learn to speak each other's love languages, and avoid pitfalls (that in the heat of the moment might seem like the rite course of action or tone to take, but only lead to more hurt).

We continually return, and reread the book to brush up. If you are struggling in a marriage or relationship, and are serious about working towards healing and loving each other again, you can't go wrong with The New Rules of Marriage. It absolutely saved my marriage, and we are so much stronger than we were before. I can't stress it enough, get this book. If you take it go heart, and really put these practices in to you're relationship, you can't help but succeed. If I ever meet Terrence in real life, I will give him the biggest man hug ever!

Another great work!

I first heard of Terry Real from the Minnesota Mens Conference, which was started by the American literary icon, Robert Bly. Terry had done a workshop with this organization about Grandiosity and Shame. I recommend that Illuminated discussion. I also recommend Terrys first best seller, I Don't Want To Talk About It, speaking on depression in Men.
The New Rules of Marriage is right up there with all the juggernauts in the self care literature. Terrys writing tone is warm, assertive when need be, caring, compassionate and liberating. His work in this book will sound to the resistant listener as one-sided at times for the woman. His approach is to empower the least powerful in the relationship which, unfortunately, is mostly women. This is by no means though a flimsy new age solution to 21st century marriage. This book feels familiar to the works of Melody Beattie, Pia Mellody, Gary Chapman and many more.
Terry's words are refreshing as we move into an age where social justice is changing, and women's contribution to our country is more valued. The marriage is the microcosm of how the country gets along with each other. If we become more transparent, open minded, loving, compassionate, less selfish, and responsive to our partner then we can expand this behavior onto the country. This book helped me tremendously and I think it can help everyone understand their partner in a new liberating way.
The person you made a commitment to on the altar should be the most important person in your life next to yourself. We can work past our parents marital misgivings and learn a new way to cherish each other. In this way, you change, your marriage changes, and your spiritual connection to yourself becomes stronger. The old ancestral abuses stop with you.
Let's heal.

A must read for heathy relationships

I’d definitely put this in my top 10 best books ever written about how to obtain healthy marriage relationships,
Definitely a must read before and after marriage.

The most comprehensive and useful couples look out there right now

I’m 30 books and 4therapists down this road and this is a good comprehensive map for where to move forward. I appreciate the good attribution to other excellent authors like Gottman etc.

Excellent and practical relationship advice

I appreciate his No-nonsense approach for couples. This advice is practical, easy to understand and easy to use. I have recommended this book to many of my clients and potential clients