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The Diary of a Secret Royal
- Narrated by: Richard Carwardine
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
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The Diary of a Secret Royal
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Publisher's summary
The most scandalous Royal book of the year
In a rapidly changing world the Royal Family own swathes of the country, most of the seabed and more money than anyone could ever spend. It is the role of the Chamberlain of the NDAs to keep things that way.
From transgressions to successions, travesties to majesties, follow eighteen months in the life of trusted toady Fenton Footlicker Esquire as he takes Queen Elizabeth to rehab, foils a breakout from the Balmoral Labour Camp and runs a counter-espionage unit of royal lookalikes – the Crown Duals.
Fenton knows better than anyone that without the monarchy UK tourism would instantly collapse. Which is why he calls himself the Royal Flush: because he always cleans up the messes his charges leave behind.
Critic reviews
‘Henry Morris is incapable of writing a not-brilliant sentence’ Caitlin Moran
‘Crowns, tiaras and brilliant satire – it’s the best of British!’ Chris Packham
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Overall3 out of 5 stars 46
-
Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story3 out of 5 stars 44
Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Weird ending
- By Bel on 05-19-24
By: Margaret Atwood
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,624
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,652
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,627
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,243
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,712
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,646
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,746
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,224
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,968
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Green Wing: Resuscitated
- By: Victoria Pile, James Henry, Oriane Messina, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Chris, Olivia Colman, Pippa Haywood, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 23
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 21
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Story5 out of 5 stars 21
They’re back! The all-star cast multi-award-winning cult hit comedy returns, with more surreal goings-on in the lives and loves of the doctors and staff at East Hampton Hospital (warning: contains very little medical content).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful to hear these voices again
- By LucilleB on 05-03-24
By: Victoria Pile, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,111
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 987
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Story4 out of 5 stars 983
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,047
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4,655
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,630
“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
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Escape from Virtual Island
- An Audio Comedy
- By: John Lutz
- Narrated by: Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer, Sue Galloway, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 28 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 6,882
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6,103
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Story4 out of 5 stars 6,100
In the year 2038, there’s only one destination that can play host to the world’s wealthiest adventure seekers: the Pengalaman Island Resort and Virtual Reality Theme Park. Located on a private South Pacific island, guests here live out their wildest fantasies in custom-made virtual reality simulations while also enjoying the usual amenities of an exclusive five-star getaway. All is relatively breezy until famed billionaire and avid guest, Mr. Wagner, goes missing within a virtual simulation. His only hope? A daring rescue led by Derek Ambrose and his ragtag search party.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Story is a Bit Stupid
- By Jeffrey veals on 04-03-20
By: John Lutz
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The Sirens of Titan
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,796
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,191
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,195
The richest, most depraved man on Earth, Malachi Constant, is offered a chance to take a space journey to distant worlds with a beautiful woman at his side. Of course, there's a catch to the invitation....
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5 out of 5 stars
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Absolutely Outstanding
- By Robert on 01-07-12
By: Kurt Vonnegut