Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible?
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
Crap Kingdom  By  cover art

Crap Kingdom

By: D. C. Pierson
Narrated by: D. C. Pierson
Try for $0.00

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $17.12

Buy for $17.12

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's summary

The Chosen One must be retrieved from Earth.

He will bring down the wall and restore the kingdom to glory.

His name is Tom Parking.

With this mysterious yet oddly ordinary-looking prophecy, Tom’s fate is sealed: he’s been plucked from his life and whisked away to a magical kingdom to be its Chosen One.

There’s just one problem - the kingdom is mostly made of garbage from Earth. Okay, well, two problems, the second being that the king hates Tom. Also, the princess likes to wear fake mustaches. And being Chosen One seems to consist mainly of cleaning out rats’ noses at the Royal Rat-Snottery.

So, basically, the kingdom sucks.

When Tom turns down the job of Chosen One, he thinks he’s making a smart decision. But when Tom discovers he’s been replaced by his best friend Kyle, who’s always been cooler, more athletic, and better with girls, Tom wants Crap Kingdom back - at any cost. And the hilarity that ensues will determine the fate of the universe.

©2013 D. C. Pierson (P)2013 AudioGO

Critic reviews

“A hilarious and surreally honest book. Crap Kingdom is anything but the first half of its title.” (Donald Glover)
“Pierson’s funny, giddy anti-epic is the summer blockbuster your burnout friend never got around to writing.” (Patton Oswalt, comedian)
“D. C. Pierson’s fantastic, fantastical, and most of all funny Crap Kingdom fits perfectly between Douglas Adams and the Harry Potter novels. And not just because of the alphabet.” (Matt Fraction, writer, Marvel’s The Mighty Thor and Invincible Iron Man comics)

What listeners say about Crap Kingdom

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    33
  • 4 Stars
    19
  • 3 Stars
    15
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    2
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    38
  • 4 Stars
    19
  • 3 Stars
    6
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    1
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    28
  • 4 Stars
    17
  • 3 Stars
    15
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    2

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Its not Crap

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

its funny, imaginative, and most of my friends are thespians so this is up their alley.

What did you like best about this story?

It was about an actor who was lazy in school and the parents threatened to take that privilege away from him very similar to my senior year.

Which scene was your favorite?

The scene where the village idiot was impersonating the father.

Any additional comments?

Read this book.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!