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Beauty Queens | [Libba Bray]

Beauty Queens

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?
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Publisher's Summary

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up? Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness.

©2011 Libba Bray (P)2011 Scholastic Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.5 (345 )
5 star
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3.4 (304 )
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4.0 (300 )
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2 star
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Performance
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  •  
    Vanessa Edmonton, AB, Canada 09-12-11
    Vanessa Edmonton, AB, Canada 09-12-11 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    12
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    "No one left unscathed"

    Libba takes a shot at everyone in this book. You can't take it seriously even though there are some serious messages hidden in the humour. This is NOT an 11-13 year old (which is the category it's in). Save it for your older teens. Near the end Bray starts to lose focus and like Going Bovine, needed an editor to say "reel it in" but overall the book was a keeper.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Lauren Toronto, Ontario, Canada 05-18-12
    Lauren Toronto, Ontario, Canada 05-18-12
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Not what you might expect"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I would recommend this book in a heartbeat. It's laugh-out-loud funny and manages to get important messages across about beauty ideals and gender without being preachy. Bray sends up the pageant world while treating the girls with tenderness and care. She manages to combine a plane full of beauty queens, a secret island hideaway for evil corporation agents, an Elvis-loving South American dictator and a boatload of pirates in a farce that is chock-full of wonderfully fleshed-out characters and tons of social commentary about the pitfalls of commercialism and capitalism.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Beauty Queens?

    I loved the backstories we got on all the girls - especially Mary Lou's suppression of her 'Wild Girl' side and the way she rediscovers it on the island. You might not expect swoon from a book that has a plane full of girls crash landing on an apparently deserted island, but there's swoon aplenty.


    What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    Libba Bray brings these characters to LIFE with her narration. I don't know how she kept all the accents straight - but these beauty queens are in a national competition, so they represent several different states across the U.S. Each character had a distinct voice and that really helped to bring their personalities to life.
    There's also wonderful, very professional production of the little 'commercial' interludes - with perfect accompanying music and sound effects.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Seeing the girls come together and get past their differences in order to survive was very touching. Hearing them form unexpected bonds and get to know one another in a much more in-depth way than they would have if they had only competed against one another in a beauty pageant was great.


    Any additional comments?

    There's a bonus interview section with Libba Bray at the end of the book where she answers some questions and explains some of her influences. It's hilarious!

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joy Annapolis MD United States 06-29-13
    Joy Annapolis MD United States 06-29-13 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Funny & entertaining"

    I enjoyed this book because it kept me chuckling over the absurdity of beauty pageants and one that has gone awry. If you're looking for a light read that will keep you smiling, buy this book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Mia 12-11-12
    Mia 12-11-12 Member Since 2015

    I am a miracle worker. Doing what I can to choose love over fear.

    HELPFUL VOTES
    133
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    "Satire with class"
    What made the experience of listening to Beauty Queens the most enjoyable?

    Libba Bray deserves an award for giving each character a unique voice. Each state represented in this book is highlighted by taking for example slang used in Texas into the character Taylor from the lone star state. In addition the book is not a simple Youth book,it makes fun of beauty queens,IQ, and chick-lit. How this could or can be seen as a book for young teens is beyond me. It is satirical on every page laughing at the many teen obsessions it covers. The language is not P.G… I wish Libba wrote "Love unscripted" she would nail it. The genre is so her.


    Would you be willing to try another book from Libba Bray? Why or why not?

    Yes, too sad she does not read the others herself.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    When Petra shares her secret.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Yes, when the girls decided to back Petra.


    Any additional comments?

    This is a great listen for those days when beauty magazines fail, you need to relax etc

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kindle Customer Bay Area, California 10-22-12
    Kindle Customer Bay Area, California 10-22-12 Member Since 2013

    Say something about yourself!

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Excellent Production"

    Fun and quirky story made all the better by the author's narration. Fast paced chick-lit/YA novel.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Natalie Catania 03-11-12 Member Since 2015
    HELPFUL VOTES
    4
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    "Such a Ride!!"
    If you could sum up Beauty Queens in three words, what would they be?

    Just Listen to it! All I have to say:)


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Tiara- super funny!!


    What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn???t experience if you just read the book?

    All of the Characters voices! She did a Fantastic job!


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    Laugh out loud!


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tabitha 02-27-12
    Tabitha 02-27-12 Member Since 2011
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Loved that the Author narrated the book!"

    Hilarious, entertaining, great characters. I usually don't like when there are too many story lines, but I loved getting to know all the girls and their backgrounds. The author doing the narration was great and I thought really added to the book!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Aaron Elliott Saint Louis, MO, US 06-10-11
    Aaron Elliott Saint Louis, MO, US 06-10-11 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Fun, Funky and Fresh"

    The main problem I had with this book is the action/humor where not consistent. Half a dozen scenes could have been edited. With that said...this is the ONLY thing negative about this book. This book was LOADS OF FUN to read. Very funny. Drive-thru Plastic Surgery? Christian Pole-Dancing. Love it. Bray as a reader? BRILLIANT. One of the best performances I have listened to. Teens will eat this one up. Very new. Very fresh. I can't wait to see the movie.

    8 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    suzanne Ottawa, ON, Canada 02-17-14
    suzanne Ottawa, ON, Canada 02-17-14 Member Since 2014
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Laugh out loud in public places!"

    If you like witty satire of American culture - this book is for you. This book pokes fun at everything - beauty pageants, TV commercials, hair removal products, reality shows, boy bands, corporate America, and even has a Sarah Palin-esque presidential hopeful and a Kim Jong-Il type with lots more than world domination on his mind.

    There's also a serious side to all this silliness - a look at how women are portrayed in the media, the expectations that women are faced with from society, how it's ok if you haven't got it all figured out by the time you're 16 years old.

    All of the "footnotes" got a little annoying - I found they interrupted the flow of the story. Other than that - I think this is a great book for young women especially.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Carolyn 01-28-14
    Carolyn 01-28-14 Member Since 2015
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    "Funniest audio book ever"
    Where does Beauty Queens rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    This is the funniest audio book I have read. Couldn't stop laughing throughout


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    I think Tiara was my favourite from an audio/voice aspect. Couldn't pick favourite from character aspect


    Which scene was your favorite?

    The girls reactions when the pirates arrived


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I wish I could have listened to it in one sitting, unfortunately I was listening to it at work and it was too long for that


    Any additional comments?

    A great book and Libba Bray does a fantastic job as the narrator of her book. Don't think anyone else could have done it better

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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  • Lara.M
    5/30/15
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Beauty Queens - Absolutely Awesome"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Certainly, I'd recommend it to anyone even if it doesn't seem like your genre of choice. Look beyond the bright cover and stereotypes and you will be, in the very least, pleasantly surprised. I have convinced my friends to listen/read Beauty Queens as soon as I finished myself and all feedback was positive.


    What did you like best about this story?

    I loved all aspects of this story: from the girls exploration of personal values to the fast-paced action and the government conspiracies. The multiple story-lines also added a lot of depth to the book which is one of its strongest features. Eventually, all the story-lines are combined for an epic, unpredictable finale.


    Which character – as performed by Libba Bray – was your favourite?

    Each character was unlike any other I have read about. All were outstanding and the diversity of the contestants meant they appeared realistic and relatable. Libba Bray's performance was excellent and by far my favourite in comparison to other narrators in my Audible library. L.Bray did a magnificent job of making each character sound unique. I could differentiate between the large cast of characters due to her performance which made it easier to follow the story right from the start. She brought the book to life with her accents, footnotes and 'advertisements'.


    Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    This book occasionally caused my to burst into laughter on public transport despite my best efforts so listen at your own risk. The dialogue and satire is witty yet much deeper than it appears at first glance. L.Bray effectively displays the social issues that are often overlooked in an ironic manner which may change one's perception of common stereotypes that we have grown to accept.


    Any additional comments?

    Listened to this book during the summer and it was my number one favourite read/(listen) of the year. I did not expect to love this book but was instantaneously impressed. Libba Bray's performance made me glad that I bought it as an audio book although I'm now tempted to have a physical copy of this book too.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Jenny
    UK
    7/26/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Unexpectedly wonderful"
    If you could sum up Beauty Queens in three words, what would they be?

    Hilarious (meaningful?) parody


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    Too hard to decide.


    What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

    Huge enthusiasm and crazy enjoyment


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    A lot of moments when the girls come to recognise their own abilities. Also a lot of the stuff about Petra and Tiara.


    Any additional comments?

    It is completely ridiculous but I enjoyed it massively.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • J
    Kensington, South Africa
    6/12/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Best book of the year, hands down!"

    I am so glad I downloaded this book. It is, hands-down, the best book I have read/heard in ages! I found myself wishing it would never end.

    It is truly hilarious while still delivering biting satire on our culture and the roles, expectations and double standards assigned to girls in particular.

    The author reads the book herself and her delivery is an absolute treat, especially her delivery of the differing US accents.

    Do yourself a favour and get this one - you will not be disappointed!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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