• Beauty Queens

  • By: Libba Bray
  • Narrated by: Libba Bray
  • Length: 14 hrs and 33 mins
  • 3.8 out of 5 stars (596 ratings)

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Beauty Queens  By  cover art

Beauty Queens

By: Libba Bray
Narrated by: Libba Bray
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Publisher's summary

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up? Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness.

©2011 Libba Bray (P)2011 Scholastic Audio

Featured Article: Hungry for More? Don't Miss These Buzzy Listens Perfect for Fans of Yellowjackets


As any fan of the Showtime hit will tell you, Yellowjackets is an intense, character-driven story that melds elements of horror, drama, and thriller. The show follows the fictional Wiskayok High School Yellowjackets, a girls' soccer team whose plane crashes on the way to a tournament, stranding them in the wilderness. Pair the second season of the hit series with listens that explore survival against the odds, trauma bonds, and female friendship and rivalry.

What listeners say about Beauty Queens

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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    242
  • 4 Stars
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  • 3 Stars
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  • 2 Stars
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Performance
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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    53
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Story
  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
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    204
  • 4 Stars
    117
  • 3 Stars
    99
  • 2 Stars
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  • 1 Stars
    59

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

No one left unscathed

Libba takes a shot at everyone in this book. You can't take it seriously even though there are some serious messages hidden in the humour. This is NOT an 11-13 year old (which is the category it's in). Save it for your older teens. Near the end Bray starts to lose focus and like Going Bovine, needed an editor to say "reel it in" but overall the book was a keeper.

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10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Fun, Funky and Fresh

The main problem I had with this book is the action/humor where not consistent. Half a dozen scenes could have been edited. With that said...this is the ONLY thing negative about this book. This book was LOADS OF FUN to read. Very funny. Drive-thru Plastic Surgery? Christian Pole-Dancing. Love it. Bray as a reader? BRILLIANT. One of the best performances I have listened to. Teens will eat this one up. Very new. Very fresh. I can't wait to see the movie.

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10 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

hmmmmm..wait for this one to go on sale

It was okay. The characters were just a little too one dimension. The tuff girl was over the top gangsta. The contestants was all amazingly air headed. The pageant producer was channeling Sara Palin in that way we are all tired of. I'd skip it if I were you.

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5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Not what you might expect

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book in a heartbeat. It's laugh-out-loud funny and manages to get important messages across about beauty ideals and gender without being preachy. Bray sends up the pageant world while treating the girls with tenderness and care. She manages to combine a plane full of beauty queens, a secret island hideaway for evil corporation agents, an Elvis-loving South American dictator and a boatload of pirates in a farce that is chock-full of wonderfully fleshed-out characters and tons of social commentary about the pitfalls of commercialism and capitalism.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Beauty Queens?

I loved the backstories we got on all the girls - especially Mary Lou's suppression of her 'Wild Girl' side and the way she rediscovers it on the island. You might not expect swoon from a book that has a plane full of girls crash landing on an apparently deserted island, but there's swoon aplenty.

What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Libba Bray brings these characters to LIFE with her narration. I don't know how she kept all the accents straight - but these beauty queens are in a national competition, so they represent several different states across the U.S. Each character had a distinct voice and that really helped to bring their personalities to life.
There's also wonderful, very professional production of the little 'commercial' interludes - with perfect accompanying music and sound effects.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Seeing the girls come together and get past their differences in order to survive was very touching. Hearing them form unexpected bonds and get to know one another in a much more in-depth way than they would have if they had only competed against one another in a beauty pageant was great.

Any additional comments?

There's a bonus interview section with Libba Bray at the end of the book where she answers some questions and explains some of her influences. It's hilarious!

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5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Such a Ride!!

If you could sum up Beauty Queens in three words, what would they be?

Just Listen to it! All I have to say:)

Who was your favorite character and why?

Tiara- super funny!!

What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn???t experience if you just read the book?

All of the Characters voices! She did a Fantastic job!

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Laugh out loud!

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Satire with class

What made the experience of listening to Beauty Queens the most enjoyable?

Libba Bray deserves an award for giving each character a unique voice. Each state represented in this book is highlighted by taking for example slang used in Texas into the character Taylor from the lone star state. In addition the book is not a simple Youth book,it makes fun of beauty queens,IQ, and chick-lit. How this could or can be seen as a book for young teens is beyond me. It is satirical on every page laughing at the many teen obsessions it covers. The language is not P.G… I wish Libba wrote "Love unscripted" she would nail it. The genre is so her.

Would you be willing to try another book from Libba Bray? Why or why not?

Yes, too sad she does not read the others herself.

Which scene was your favorite?

When Petra shares her secret.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Yes, when the girls decided to back Petra.

Any additional comments?

This is a great listen for those days when beauty magazines fail, you need to relax etc

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

the most terrible audible book ever

This was torture to get through. I was determined to listen until the end, thinking it had to get better. It never did. The characters are stereotypes of the worst kind with absolutely no dimension and performed in stereotypical accents. The narrator ( the author) delivers the text with a nudge-nudge quality to her voice, letting the listener know how funny it all is. Though the story is way too long, it is padded with * commercials* and dream sequences that have nothing to do with the plot. Worst of all is the beauty queen contestant who is deaf and has lost her hearing aid in the opening plane crash. The narrator/author shouts at the top of her lungs to illustrate her deafness all through the book, requiring constant volume adjustments. I got it the first time.

Libba Bray is a fine author; I've enjoyed other books she's written. Something went very wrong here.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Beauty Queens

This book was chosen by a teacher from a book club I attend with other teachers from the school where I work. I dare say it is the single most waste of time book I have ever read. Well actually with each passing page I was in more disbelief at how utterly stupid the book was. I was getting dumber with each chapter and just could not finish it. I was so sorry I wasted my credit on this book. In addition, I was not the only one who disliked the book. Our Librarian said it was the worst book she had ever read and other people from the club either did not finish it from distaste or did not like it either. I think the only on who did like it was the person who picked it, hence she shall never pick again.I really did not want to give it even 1 star but had to give at least 1 or my review would not be accepted. Sorry to have to leave such a hard review but I was sadly disappointed..

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

This book is the worst book ever written

What disappointed you about Beauty Queens?

It was stupid. The foot notes were annoying.

Has Beauty Queens turned you off from other books in this genre?

no but will never buy another Libba Bray book

How could the performance have been better?

Burn it!

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Anger that I bought this book

Any additional comments?

Terribly written

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funniest audio book ever

Where does Beauty Queens rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

This is the funniest audio book I have read. Couldn't stop laughing throughout

Who was your favorite character and why?

I think Tiara was my favourite from an audio/voice aspect. Couldn't pick favourite from character aspect

Which scene was your favorite?

The girls reactions when the pirates arrived

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

I wish I could have listened to it in one sitting, unfortunately I was listening to it at work and it was too long for that

Any additional comments?

A great book and Libba Bray does a fantastic job as the narrator of her book. Don't think anyone else could have done it better

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