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Artemis Begins
- A Story from Guys Read: Funny Business
- Narrated by: John Keating
- Length: 18 mins
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Artemis Begins
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Publisher's summary
It’s here: Volume One of the official Guys Read Library. Jon Scieszka’s Guys Read initiative was founded on a simple premise: that young guys enjoy reading most when they have reading they can enjoy. And out of this comes a series that aims to give them just that. Ten books, arranged by theme, featuring the best of the best where writing for kids is concerned. Each book is a collection of original short stories, but these aren’t your typical anthologies - each book is edgy, inventive, visual, and one-of-a-kind, featuring a different theme for guys to get excited about.
Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and Guys Read, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; the only kid in his middle school who hasn’t turned into a vampire, wizard, or superhero; and more. And the contributor list includes best-selling authors, award winners, and fresh new talent alike: Mac Barnett, Eoin Colfer, Christopher Paul Curtis, Kate DiCamillo (writing with Jon Scieszka), Paul Feig, Jack Gantos, Jeff Kinney, David Lubar, Adam Rex, and David Yoo.
Guys Read is all about turning young readers and listeners into life-long ones - and with this book, and each subsequent installment in the series, we aim to leave no guy unturned.
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Nine-year-old Carrie Parker and her mother, Libby, are making a fresh start in the small town of Hartsville, North Carolina, ready to put their turbulent past behind them. Violence has shattered their family and left Libby nearly unable to cope. And while Carrie once took comfort in her beloved sister, Emma, her mother has now forbidden even the mention of her name. When Carrie meets Ruth, Honor, and Cricket Chaplin, these three generations of warmhearted women seem to have the loving home Carrie has always dreamed of. But as Carrie and Cricket become fast friends, neither can escape the pull of their families' secrets.
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-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49
Nine-year-old Carrie Parker and her mother, Libby, are making a fresh start in the small town of Hartsville, North Carolina, ready to put their turbulent past behind them. Violence has shattered their family and left Libby nearly unable to cope. And while Carrie once took comfort in her beloved sister, Emma, her mother has now forbidden even the mention of her name. When Carrie meets Ruth, Honor, and Cricket Chaplin, these three generations of warmhearted women seem to have the loving home Carrie has always dreamed of. But as Carrie and Cricket become fast friends, neither can escape the pull of their families' secrets.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Breathtaking
- By Pink Amy on 03-11-24
By: Elizabeth Flock
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A Girl Named Zippy
- Growing Up Small in Mooreland, Indiana
- By: Haven Kimmel
- Narrated by: Haven Kimmel
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 537
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 370
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 374
When Haven Kimmel was born in 1965, Mooreland, Indiana, was a sleepy little hamlet of 300 people. Nicknamed "Zippy" for the way she would bolt around the house, this small girl was possessed of big eyes and even bigger ears. In this witty and lovingly told memoir, Kimmel takes readers back to a time when small-town America was caught in the amber of the innocent postwar period - people helped their neighbors, went to church on Sunday, and kept barnyard animals in their backyards.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautifully written, beautifully read.
- By shopgirl on 03-06-08
By: Haven Kimmel
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Learning to Die in Miami
- Confessions of a Refugee Boy
- By: Carlos Eire
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
Carlos Eire's story of a boyhood uprooted by the Cuban Revolution quickly lures us in, as eleven-year-old Carlos and his older brother Tony touch down in the sun-dappled Miami of 1962 - a place of daunting abundance where his old Cuban self must die to make way for a new, American self waiting to be born. In this enchanting new work, narrated in Eire's inimitable and lyrical voice, young Carlos adjusts to life in his new country.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Excellent memoir of a forgotten time in history
- By BRB on 03-23-15
By: Carlos Eire
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Chicken Soup for the Child's Soul: Character-Building Stories to Read with Kids Ages 5 - 8
- By: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen
- Narrated by: Leslie Bellair
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 66
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50
Today's children live in a world filled with adventure, mental stimulation, topical issues, and personal challenges. The values they learn now, between the ages of 5 and 8, will shape the rest of their lives. Through this collection of heartfelt true stories about family ties, helping neighbors, and lasting friendships, children will see how other kids their age have learned valuable lessons from the choices they've made - and most of all, they will realize that they are not alone in dealing with some of the difficult issues in their lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
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My kids love these
- By shrockin on 12-22-15
By: Jack Canfield, and others
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What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours
- Stories
- By: Helen Oyeyemi
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Gideon, Piter Marek, Bahni Turpin
- Length: 7 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 153
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 131
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Story4 out of 5 stars 133
In "Books and Roses", one special key opens a library, a garden, and clues to at least two lovers' fates. In "Is Your Blood as Red as This?", an unlikely key opens the heart of a student at a puppeteering school. "'Sorry' Doesn't Sweeten Her Tea" involves a "house of locks", where doors can be closed only with a key - with surprising unobservable developments. And in "If a Book Is Locked There's Probably a Good Reason for That Don't You Think", a key keeps a mystical diary locked (for good reason).
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5 out of 5 stars
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clever
- By jared rogerson on 03-15-18
By: Helen Oyeyemi
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Stonefather
- By: Orson Scott Card
- Narrated by: Emily Janice Card
- Length: 3 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,020
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,604
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,601
When Runnel leaves his mountain valley to head for the great city of the water mages, he has no idea of his own magical talents. But he soon finds that without meaning to, he complicates and then endangers the lives of everyone he comes to know and care about. For when it comes to magic, there are rules and laws, and the untrained mage-to-be must be careful not to tap into deep forces and ancient enmities. Otherwise, other people might end up paying the price for his mistakes.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Familiar and unique--a breath of fresh air
- By Scott on 03-10-09
By: Orson Scott Card
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There's Nothing in This Book That I Meant to Say
- By: Paula Poundstone
- Narrated by: Paula Poundstone
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 575
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 360
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Story4 out of 5 stars 355
What do the lives of Lincoln, Helen Keller, Joan of Arc, and other historical figures have in common with Paula Poundstone? In the hands of this wryly observant and self-deprecating comedian, the answer is outrageously funny and unexpectedly touching. Poundstone compares her crazy life to theirs, as she holds forth on her children, her career, and the time in her life when it appeared she would lose them both.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More!
- By Evelyn on 02-11-07
By: Paula Poundstone
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Pi in the Sky
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Mark Turetsky
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4 out of 5 stars 27
Pi in the Sky stars Joss, the seventh son of the Supreme Overlord of the Universe, whose job is to deliver magical pies - ones that happen to hold the secrets of the cosmos. But when planet Earth suddenly disappears, Joss must figure out a way to bring it back - even if it means enlisting the help of an outspoken Earth girl named Annika.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing book
- By Chris Badgett on 06-17-23
By: Wendy Mass
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The Family Fang
- By: Kevin Wilson
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 10 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,307
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,135
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,133
Performance artists Caleb and Camille Fang dedicated themselves to making great art. But when an artist's work lies in subverting normality, it can be difficult to raise well-adjusted children. Just ask Buster and Annie Fang. For as long as they can remember, they starred (unwillingly) in their parents' madcap pieces. But now that they are grown up, the chaos of their childhood has made it difficult to cope with life outside the fishbowl of their parents' strange world.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Beautiful, Heart-wrenching, Shocking.
- By Amanda on 11-18-11
By: Kevin Wilson
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A Head Full of Knives: An Urban Fantasy Novel
- By: Luke Smitherd
- Narrated by: Luke Smitherd
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 221
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 208
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 208
From the author of Audible #1 bestsellers In The Darkness, That's Where I'll Know You, The Physics of the Dead, and The Stone Man (shortlisted for the Audible Audiobook of the Year award 2015). Ever wished the world would revolve around you? Be careful what you wish for... Martin Hogan feels like he's being watched by everyone and everything, and doesn't know why. Even his pets are acting strangely. Each night he sees animals gathering outside his house in the darkness, staring up at his windows with glittering eyes.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful
- By Julie the Gator Mom on 12-09-15
By: Luke Smitherd
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Love Walked In
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 376
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 281
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Story4 out of 5 stars 285
Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Dreadful audio quality
- By Marenghi on 09-16-11
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The Egypt Game
- By: Zilpha Keatley Snyder
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 347
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 273
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 276
When Melanie Ross first meets April Hall, she's not sure what to think. What other sixth grade girl wears her blonde hair piled in a twist and flaunts false eyelashes? But when the two girls discover the storage shed outside the A-Z Antiques and Curio Shop, they discover they both love anything to do with ancient Egypt. Soon the friends create the Egypt Game.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Better than I remembered
- By Brianna Brown on 02-22-16
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Beautiful Child
- The Story of a Child Trapped in Silence and the Teacher Who Refused to Give Up on Her
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Susan Larkin
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 90
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Story5 out of 5 stars 90
Hayden has chronicled experiences from her long career as a special education teacher in several books, including One Child and The Tiger's Child. Successes in this difficult and often frustrating field can be few and hard won, a fact which Hayden deftly illustrates while simultaneously offering hope and joy in small victories. This time she brings to life the story of a scruffy seven-year-old, Venus, who is so unresponsive that Hayden searches for signs of deafness, brain damage, or mental retardation.
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5 out of 5 stars
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shows how hard some teachers have to work
- By Sophie on 01-20-17
By: Torey Hayden
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Boy, Snow, Bird
- By: Helen Oyeyemi
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett, Carra Patterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 639
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 571
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 575
In the winter of 1953, Boy Novak arrives by chance in a small town in Massachusetts, looking, she believes, for beauty - the opposite of the life she' s left behind in New York. She marries a local widower and becomes stepmother to his winsome daughter, Snow Whitman. A wicked stepmother is a creature Boy never imagined she' d become, but elements of the familiar tale of aesthetic obsession begin to play themselves out when the birth of Boy' s daughter, Bird, who is dark-skinned, exposes the Whitmans as light-skinned African Americans passing for white.
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5 out of 5 stars
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For Literary Lovers
- By M. Shipe on 04-25-14
By: Helen Oyeyemi
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Size Matters Not
- The Extraordinary Life and Career of Warwick Davis
- By: Warwick Davis
- Narrated by: Gideon Emery
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 443
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 410
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Story5 out of 5 stars 409
You may not recognize my name-or my face for that matter-but it's very likely you've seen me at work. I've managed to cram quite a bit into my thirty-year acting career. In fact I've helped put more bums on cinema seats than Will Smith or Tom Hanks. Who else can say that they've helped destroy a Death Star? Defeated an evil sorceress? Taught magic to Harry Potter? Become a Jedi Master? Reluctantly hitchhiked across the galaxy in search of the answer to the Ultimate Question?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Sincere and heart-warming
- By Alice on 10-04-15
By: Warwick Davis
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Twilight Children
- Three Voices No One Heard Until a Therapist Listened
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 90
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
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Story5 out of 5 stars 76
A light in the darkness for severely troubled children, former special education teacher Torey Hayden faced three of her most extraordinary challenges after she left the classroom. Nine-year-old Cassandra, kidnapped by her father and found starving, dirty, and picking through garbage cans - a child prone to long silences and erratic, violent behavior, whose hard-won recollections of the nightmare she endured could not be fully trusted.
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5 out of 5 stars
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loved it.
- By Lace M. Jackson on 06-23-17
By: Torey Hayden
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The One-in-a-Million Boy
- By: Monica Wood
- Narrated by: Chris Ciulla
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,608
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,369
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,376
For years, guitarist Quinn Porter has been on the road, chasing gig after gig, largely absent to his twice-ex-wife Belle and their odd, Guinness records-obsessed son. When the boy dies suddenly, Quinn seeks forgiveness for his paternal shortcomings by completing the requirements for one of his son's unfinished Boy Scout badges. For seven Saturdays Quinn does yard work for Ona Vitkus, the spry 104-year-old Lithuanian immigrant the boy had visited weekly.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Loved it
- By Justin on 10-20-16
By: Monica Wood
What listeners say about Artemis Begins
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Reecee
- 01-02-16
Wonderfully funny from start to finish!
I love this author's Artemis Fowl series, so it was nice to see where those stories originated. Both the story and narrator are fantastic.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Maira Saw
- 02-20-18
Background
While this is only a short 19 minutes story it pervides fun context to anyone who love the 'Artemis Fowl' series.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Nicola
- 01-04-15
Fun!
Not a story about Artemis, but rather a funny story about the author's childhood and the inspiration for the books.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 07-21-15
the best way to keep loving Artemis!
how much fun can one kid have? time five for evil brothers and you'll get it right. such a fab short story. loved it entirely!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- tracie
- 06-24-13
Hilarious!!
I thought that this might be a real Artemis Fowl story; it isn't. What it is, is the real life story of Eoin Colfer...and it had us in stitches!! The boys and I weren't disappointed by this unexpected story, but actually listened to it again....to catch every funny little part.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 10-30-21
GENIUS
GENIUS genius genius genius genius G.E.N.I.U.S! Perfect description to soooooo many people in my family(your brother's antics, not his genius unless we'retalkingthe EVIL kind)...And I don't love or like them nearly as much as I've come to love Artemis beFowled(wink).
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Talia
- 01-12-12
A nice look at the beginning
Where does Artemis Begins rank among all the audiobooks you???ve listened to so far?
I'd say it's somewhere in the solid middle.
Who was your favorite character and why?
I don't really have a favorite character here actually.
Have you listened to any of John Keating???s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes.
Any additional comments?
It's a great look at the conception of the character of Artemis Fowl.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Jason Wood
- 08-03-17
Not what I thought
I had hoped for a story of young Artemis. This is a telling of where he got the idea for the character Artemis. This story is not worth paying for. Maybe fun to learn but not even a real short story.
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3 people found this helpful