Smile

The Story of a Face

By: Sarah Ruhl

Narrated by: Sarah Ruhl

Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins

Publisher's summary

* A People Best Book of the Year * Time and The Washington Post’s Most Anticipated List * Longlisted for the Andrew Carnegie Medal for Excellence *

From the MacArthur genius, two-time Pulitzer Prize finalist, and playwright, this “captivating, insightful memoir” (Kirkus Reviews, starred review) is “a beautiful meditation on identity and how we see ourselves” (Real Simple).

With a play opening on Broadway, and every reason to smile, Sarah Ruhl has just survived a high-risk pregnancy when she discovers the left side of her face is completely paralyzed. She is assured that 90 percent of Bell’s palsy patients experience a full recovery—like Ruhl’s own mother. But Sarah is in the unlucky ten percent. And for a woman, wife, mother, and artist working in theater, the paralysis and the disconnect between the interior and exterior brings significant and specific challenges. So Ruhl begins an intense decade-long search for a cure while simultaneously grappling with the reality of her new face—one that, while recognizably her own—is incapable of accurately communicating feelings or intentions.

In a series of piercing, profound, and lucid meditations, Ruhl chronicles her journey as a patient, wife, mother, and artist. She explores the struggle of a body yearning to match its inner landscape, the pain of postpartum depression, the story of a marriage, being a playwright and working mom to three small children, and the desire for a resilient spiritual life in the face of illness.

An intimate and “stunning” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) examination of loss and reconciliation, “Ruhl reminds us that a smile is not just a smile but a vital form of communication, of bonding, of what makes us human” (The Washington Post). Brimming with insight, humility, and levity, Smile is a triumph by one of America’s leading playwrights.

©2021 Sarah Ruhl. All rights reserved. (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

Critic reviews

"Playwright Sarah Ruhl narrates her beautiful memoir with a sense of never-ending curiosity and wonder. Just after giving birth to twins, she develops Bell’s palsy, which paralyzes half her face. As she gets used to her new visage, she embarks on a journey of discovery, exploring topics such as the history of medicine and the ways that women are socialized to smile. In a series of thoughtful meditations, she examines motherhood, marriage, the creative process, loss, transformation, womanhood, and so much more. Her narration, like her prose, is flowing and lovely. She’s deeply interested in the world — not just in her small world, but also the larger human world — and it comes through as she narrates, her voice inviting readers to share her experiences with irresistible warmth."

— AudioFile Magazine

Beautiful poetic

Beautifully written, honest and somewhat meditative. I was curious (as I navigate my own BP diagnosis) and somewhat afraid. But it was a great pleasure to spend time in Sarah’s company and cheer on her recovery and personal growth. I wish her much happiness and for everyone to discover this little gem of a book

Excellent on every level

Exquisite. Honest & eloquent. Invites us to explore oh so much. Her insight is profound. I can not recommend this enough, only if you are open to considering all that we take for granted and to be status quo

Yes, I'll smile.

The writer and narrator, Sarah, had the same ailment that I've had. Mine came about three years ago. it's either the side effects or the disease yet, as I still have episodes of the left side of my face distorting. Not fun, but I can live with it. Just hope it's not for a long time yet.

Beautiful

Written so beautifully. Words flowed. Highly recommend. In a time where imagine seems to be everything, Smiles proves differently.

Synkinesis: I am there

As a fellow synkinesis sufferer I found Sarah’s portrayal of her experience beautifully done. Hearing it in her own voice was very effective. Her narration of the effect on self esteem & worth was genuine and true. Having a very unknown malady even by physicians was discouraging. But as she details “keep looking”.
I wish there had been more on the devastation suffered by the effects on the eye which are very disturbing and the slurring of speech, symptoms she didn’t seem to suffer. They however are very life altering. I also think she underplays Botox treatments, again something she did not elect.
There is a lot that can be done by the right practitioners. I went from ENT’s who just shrugged it off as “ permanent “ to ENTs who were hopeful and helpful. You must stay optimistic. It would be most helpful to have her list more specific resources such as physical therapists and other practitioners she finally got meaning help from. We are a very small minority but this wonderful book has told part of our story, which no one understands unless they’ve suffered it.

Touching, heart-soothing, funny, smart, and vulnerable.

For readers like me who have personal experience with facial disfigurement and the long road of recovery, this book will feel familiar in a relieving way. Ruhl’s book and her reading it, are a warm invitation out of what can be a very isolating experience. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has taken, is on, or loves someone who is on a long walk of healing. I’m so grateful she wrote it. Thank you Sarah Ruhl for sharing this story with us in the way that only you could. I am deeply grateful for it and know many others will be as well.

A must listen!

I couldn’t wait to get back in my car each day to listen to Sarah Ruhl’s story. I knew she was a gifted playwright but to hear her personal story was a special gift. It was beautiful and emotional, heartbreaking and humorous. Ruhl is truly a gifted storyteller.

Beautiful Healing

I loved this for its raw freshness. It’s a perfect example of “trusting the process” as Sarah adjusts to all the changes in her life. Thanks for sharing your life with us so eloquently!

Definitely not enough content for a book

This was a magazine story stretched and padded then padded some more to make a book. The sentences were short and choppy, and the narrator's pace so slow I had to increase speed to 1.25. Still couldn't finish it.