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You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation | [Deborah Tannen]

You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation

It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language, but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own.
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Publisher's Summary

It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language, but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own.

Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three (hair, clothes, and weight), while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves?

Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.

With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen's humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You're Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives.

©2006 Deborah Tannen; (P)2006 Books on Tape

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    Ella Graham, WA, USA 03-22-06
    Ella Graham, WA, USA 03-22-06
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    "A little more clarity -"

    I downloaded this thinking that it would help me communicate better with my teenage daughter and I ended evaluating my relationship with my own mother more. Although it was a good audiobook, I feel that I was a little misled and perhaps that was my own doing. Of course my relationship with my daughter is the same - but I understand now why my mother and I have the relationship we have.

    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Cindy Butler, PA, United States 09-11-12
    Cindy Butler, PA, United States 09-11-12 Member Since 2012
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    "For every mother and every daughter"
    Any additional comments?

    The answer to a struggle that I barely knew existed. I will be sharing with my daughter and daughter-in-law.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Deborah United States 07-30-12
    Deborah United States 07-30-12

    Love poetry...

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    "Very Informative"

    I am finding I am comparing my experience with my mother during and after the narrator's readings of different second-hand cases. I wish Tannen had compiled those cases without having to use word for word transcriptions. It's a little confusing. But the insight afterwards is immeasurable. My mother and I have a relationship that rings true with the psychology and findings.
    I would have liked Tannen to read her own work. But the narrator is fine. I even asked my mother if she would look into the book after I finished listening to it. This is an amazing and detailed self-help/psychology book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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