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Why You're Not Married... Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve | [Tracy McMillan]

Why You're Not Married... Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve

If you're looking to get married and you're not, there's most likely a very good reason: you. Not that you're a bad person - you're certainly not! It's just that you haven't yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. So how can you grow into someone who is ready to say "I do" and to attract the same in a mate? You start with this book. Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article, Why You're Not Married . . . Yet dishes out straightforward, no-holds-barred advice for women.

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Publisher's Summary

If you're looking to get married and you're not, there's most likely a very good reason: you. Not that you're a bad person - you're certainly not! It's just that you haven't yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. So how can you grow into someone who is ready to say "I do" and to attract the same in a mate?

You start with this book.

Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article - one of the site's most-viewed of all time - Why You're Not Married . . . Yet dishes out straightforward, no-holds-barred practical and proven advice for women hoping to head down the aisle or just have a great relationship. With sisterly insight, razor-sharp wit, and refreshing candor, McMillan points out the things that might be in your blind spot: unhelpful attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs so easy to identify in others, but much more difficult to see in yourself. Then she shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Like a no-nonsense but loving best friend, McMillan meets you right where you are to help you get where you're going - with clarity and honesty. And she'll make you laugh out loud along the way.

More than just a relationship manual, Why You're Not Married . . . Yet will help you diagnose what's preventing you from getting what you want. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?

  • You're a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
  • You're a Liar: How to stop lying to men - and get honest with yourself - about the kind of relationship you really want. It's the only way.
  • You're Shallow: Being a woman who insists on a tall guy is no different from being a man who demands big boobs. Learn why you should let go of trying to get what you think you should have and focus on getting what you need.
  • You're Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It's about giving something, not getting it. The other big secret: You will have to go first.

Why You're Not Married . . . Yet isn't so much about getting a husband as it is about shifting your perspective on being a wife. Here's a funny, insightful guide to becoming a more loving woman and creating a more loving marriage - even if you're already partnered. It's a book that will change your life and the way you think about relationships, and it may very well lead you down the aisle.

©2012 Tracy McMillan (P)2012 Random House Audio

What the Critics Say

"Why You're Not Married . . . Yet is funny, smart, and so, so true. Equal parts BFF, boot-camp instructor, and relationship guru, Tracy McMillan will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. This book is for every woman out there who wants to have a great marriage" (Ricki Lake)

"Tracy McMillan is a hero and visionary. Through her book I realized about myself things people I pay a lot of money have been trying to tell me for years: that I'm a bitch, a slut, a mess, and that I hate myself. She gives solutions on how to heal, grow, and get what you want in life in a funny, inspiring, personal and very rare way. This book is an empowering way to take control of your life and become the person you want to be. So basically, she shows you how to be the opposite of me." (Actress and comedian Whitney Cummings)

"As someone who has been married for twelve years, I love to give advice to my single girlfriends. Now, thanks to having read this book, I'm actually qualified to give it." (Heather McDonald, regular on Chelsea Lately and best-selling author of You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.4 (63 )
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  •  
    cathy LEESBURG, VA, United States 07-30-12
    cathy LEESBURG, VA, United States 07-30-12 Member Since 2011
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    "Liked it, but...."
    What made the experience of listening to Why You're Not Married... Yet the most enjoyable?

    I liked her wittiness and candor. She made her points well and the book moved along.


    What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

    He's Not That Into You


    Did Tracy McMillan do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

    Yes, but there really aren't too many in this book.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    It was a book you could listen to all at once. It made you come back for more. Also a good book for going back and revisiting to glean more info.


    Any additional comments?

    If you like the F-Bomb then this is the book for you. She seemed only to know that word and used it often. I see that as a lack of work on the author to use profanity so often and not dig a little deeper within herself to express her points better.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tamicat NY, NY 04-29-14
    Tamicat NY, NY 04-29-14

    Dewy eyed hopeless romantic

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    "A hard to listen to because it tells you what you"

    This book tells you what you do not want to hear and gives practical and helpful advice about working on yourself.

    I have read a lot of dating books since becoming single again. The flirting tips are all good and by the way girls, it is not the makeup that drives the men wild, it is the bombshell walk, shoulders back, stand up straight walk with confidence and move your hips side to side when you walk.

    I think this is an excellent book. You don't have to tell anyone you read it but I do think the chapters about drama and things that we all do and do not mean to and then we are crying again because we sabotaged a great relationship.

    This is the book for you, grab a box of tissues and listen and open to your heart to it and I think you will see a difference.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Jann Beverly Hills, CA, United States 06-03-14
    Jann Beverly Hills, CA, United States 06-03-14 Member Since 2008
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    "must listen"

    this is the BEST book about relationship advice and figuring out more about why I do what than ANY other book I have ever read or listened to. I cringed most of the way as I listened to what I have been doing - and really need to stop. I just met a fantastic man, and have already been following what I learned here from Tracy. EVERY woman should get this book, married or not. OUTSTANDING.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kate Boston 03-17-14
    Kate Boston 03-17-14 Member Since 2013
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    "Best self-help I have ever read!!"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    I have recommended this book to everyone! I have not read anything so well put together, so clear, so well-structured and so HELPFUL!

    Ever have 10 people tell you the same thing, and then finally one of them says it in just the right way that the light goes off in your head? Tracy did that for me! It was as if all of the things I was trying to understand finally made sense.

    I am in my late 20's, a few failed relationships behind me, really wanting to take responsibility for my part of their failure. Tracy's book was amazing. I think I fall into nearly every category she lists. I am now more clear about what I need to work on about myself and my goals for a future relationship. The best part is, she has made all of the same mistakes, so you don't feel like she is being rude or judgmental, just trying to pass off some amazing wisdom. And it is amazing!


    What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

    Power of Now and New Earth had the spiritual side that she is talking about but not necessarily about relationships.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    The whole book. I have listened to it numerous times!


    Any additional comments?

    MUST READ!!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Smile U.S.A 12-09-13
    Smile U.S.A 12-09-13 Member Since 2013

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    "Made me laugh while being insightful"
    Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

    Yes, I have a lot of friends who showcase these qualities, and I've already thought about buying the hard copy for friends.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Why You're Not Married... Yet?

    It's really funny. It's straight to the point but makes you laugh along the way. It also made me feel more empowered even if I only fell into the "you might need this book" category. It's a great "read" and made me think more about what I do and why I'm doing it.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    You're a bitch. The section's header is just hilarious. While I may not be a bitch, it really taught me how I can apply each section to myself. I also love how she takes a "spiritual" approach to each section without being religious. I'm a religious person but I really liked how this book is for everyone.


    Any additional comments?

    If you want a lighthearted but down to earth book, this is for you. Some of the other books are too darn serious without being that helpful.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Caroline hollywood, FL, United States 11-21-13
    Caroline hollywood, FL, United States 11-21-13
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    "must listen to"
    If you could sum up Why You're Not Married... Yet in three words, what would they be?

    witty, great information , eye opener, I really enjoyed this book, I listened to it more then once


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Why You're Not Married... Yet?

    relating to the stories Tracy Tells


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bridget Tucson, AZ, United States 04-22-13
    Bridget Tucson, AZ, United States 04-22-13
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    "One listen through is not enough!"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Why You're Not Married... Yet to be better than the print version?

    I think that either way a person gets the information in this book is worthwhile, however, I personally loved being able to hear the author read her own book and convey her thoughts and feelings as if she was your close friend.
    This book is wonderful, there are so many "ah ha!" and "it makes so much sense now!" moments. I will be reading this book over again very soon. I feel that the information in this book is so important, because it teaches women to love themselves first-which sadly, many of us women do not do so well.
    I love the idea of starting from within, and her straight-forward, caring and honest take on the motives and personality traits that are keeping us from being able to let love in is a tremendous step in the right direction!
    This book should be read by so many more people, men and women-we all could use a little help letting love into our own hearts.


    What about Tracy McMillan’s performance did you like?

    There is something wonderful about having an author of a self-help book personally do the narration. It makes you feel more connected to the information and the author. It makes me want to have her on my speed dial and call her up when times get a little tricky.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    I definitely did! But I also feel that by having to take time between listens gave me the opportunity to really think about each section and how it pertained to my life.


    Any additional comments?

    I definitely recommend this book to yourself, your friends and your loved ones!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Edwina Bda 02-22-13
    Edwina Bda 02-22-13 Member Since 2010

    I liked to read as a child and thanks to Audible, I'm able to multitask whilst enjoying 'Me Time' in the form of a good book.

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    "Love It!"
    Would you consider the audio edition of Why You're Not Married... Yet to be better than the print version?

    I haven't read the book but found the audio version entertaining as well as enlightening.
    Funny but true information.


    What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

    So far, none in its category.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    n/a


    What did you learn from Why You're Not Married... Yet that you would use in your daily life?

    To be nicer more often and to start thinking like I'm under surveillance.


    Any additional comments?

    I enjoyed the narrator's sarcasm and honesty! Loved it!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Fatima Miami, FL 01-09-13
    Fatima Miami, FL 01-09-13 Member Since 2012
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    "Impactful and Provides Real Perspective"
    What did you love best about Why You're Not Married... Yet?

    I love this book because it doesn't focus on what men want/need (understanding men type of books) or what a good relationship needs (men are from mars/women are from venus type of books) - books like that make me feel like I have to be especially aware of the man in my life and act accordingly or strive for some perfect relationship that might not be perfect for me. This book focuses on women - on our behavior and what we can do to get what we want, which I found very empowering and effective.

    The author covers a bad habit and all of its symptoms in each chapter. She gives a couple real world examples, provides some discussion on where the habit may be stemming from, what impact it is/may be having on the man in your life, and things you can do to possibly stop it. Within the habits/symptoms she covers everything from being a slob to a slut, from being shy to being selfish. I found that even if all of the chapters did not wholly 'apply' to me, I could certainly at least relate to all of them and found useful and practical insight in each chapter.

    As indicated in the title, there is a big 'reality check' tone to this book. It's not drill-sergeant-pushy or mean, but it's so simply and directly written that you can't really avoid admitting to yourself, "yes... she is talking about me.' - which is why I say the book is impactful. I say it provides real perspective because the discussion in each chapter is so objective, simple and straightforward - that you won't have room to additionally pscho-analyze yourself between the lines or look for loopholes of why the chapter doesn't apply to you. The approach of the book is not a talk with your friend who is trying to soften things for you or a talk with yourself kicking your own butt - its sort of like taking a step back from your life and being an objective viewer along with a guide. I found this approach brought perspective to me because it didn't make me feel sorry for myself or judge myself either - it just provided a platform to 'review' (not even analyze) my behavior and consider approaching things differently in the future.


    What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

    It's difficult to say. Its practical, on the level of Mars and Venus, but the tone is very different.


    Have you listened to any of Tracy McMillan’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    No - but I definetly will now. As far as this specific performance, I thought she is a great reader and brought a lot of depth. I doubt they could have found someone to do it better.


    Any additional comments?

    This book is great for single women and those in relationships (whether or not the relationships are going well).

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Caitlyn ERIE, PA, United States 11-03-12
    Caitlyn ERIE, PA, United States 11-03-12 Member Since 2011
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    "Stuff I needed to hear"

    Tracy made a lot of good points in the chapters that pertained to me. None of it was earth shattering, but it's all the stuff you suspect might be true when you buy this book. To hear someone else say it is the push I needed to enact change. I found her advice for change very helpful as well.
    It was very funny to me that Tracy was right about the title to the last chapter being a huge turn-off, but I gave it a listen & I recommend you do the same. Some of the best advice in the book is in that chapter - and not just for me, I've relayed the advice to many of my girlfriends as well.
    If you're reading reviews to determine whether or not to get this book - get it. There's something in it for every single girl... and the chapters that don't pertain to you, will remind you that you don't need as much work as you may have feared ;)

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
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