• Why You're Not Married... Yet

  • The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve
  • By: Tracy McMillan
  • Narrated by: Tracy McMillan
  • Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (640 ratings)

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Why You're Not Married... Yet  By  cover art

Why You're Not Married... Yet

By: Tracy McMillan
Narrated by: Tracy McMillan
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Publisher's summary

If you're looking to get married and you're not, there's most likely a very good reason: you. Not that you're a bad person - you're certainly not! It's just that you haven't yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want. So how can you grow into someone who is ready to say "I do" and to attract the same in a mate?

You start with this book.

Based on her wildly popular Huffington Post article - one of the site's most-viewed of all time - Why You're Not Married . . . Yet dishes out straightforward, no-holds-barred practical and proven advice for women hoping to head down the aisle or just have a great relationship. With sisterly insight, razor-sharp wit, and refreshing candor, McMillan points out the things that might be in your blind spot: unhelpful attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs so easy to identify in others, but much more difficult to see in yourself. Then she shows you how to adjust them to get the relationship you deserve. Like a no-nonsense but loving best friend, McMillan meets you right where you are to help you get where you're going - with clarity and honesty. And she'll make you laugh out loud along the way.

More than just a relationship manual, Why You're Not Married . . . Yet will help you diagnose what's preventing you from getting what you want. Do any of these chapter headings sound familiar?

  • You're a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness.
  • You're a Liar: How to stop lying to men - and get honest with yourself - about the kind of relationship you really want. It's the only way.
  • You're Shallow: Being a woman who insists on a tall guy is no different from being a man who demands big boobs. Learn why you should let go of trying to get what you think you should have and focus on getting what you need.
  • You're Selfish: The big secret about marriage: It's about giving something, not getting it. The other big secret: You will have to go first.

Why You're Not Married . . . Yet isn't so much about getting a husband as it is about shifting your perspective on being a wife. Here's a funny, insightful guide to becoming a more loving woman and creating a more loving marriage - even if you're already partnered. It's a book that will change your life and the way you think about relationships, and it may very well lead you down the aisle.

©2012 Tracy McMillan (P)2012 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

" Why You're Not Married . . . Yet is funny, smart, and so, so true. Equal parts BFF, boot-camp instructor, and relationship guru, Tracy McMillan will change the way you think about yourself and your relationships. This book is for every woman out there who wants to have a great marriage" (Ricki Lake)
"Tracy McMillan is a hero and visionary. Through her book I realized about myself things people I pay a lot of money have been trying to tell me for years: that I'm a bitch, a slut, a mess, and that I hate myself. She gives solutions on how to heal, grow, and get what you want in life in a funny, inspiring, personal and very rare way. This book is an empowering way to take control of your life and become the person you want to be. So basically, she shows you how to be the opposite of me." (Actress and comedian Whitney Cummings)
"As someone who has been married for twelve years, I love to give advice to my single girlfriends. Now, thanks to having read this book, I'm actually qualified to give it." (Heather McDonald, regular on Chelsea Lately and best-selling author of You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again)

What listeners say about Why You're Not Married... Yet

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    5 out of 5 stars

A hard to listen to because it tells you what you

This book tells you what you do not want to hear and gives practical and helpful advice about working on yourself.

I have read a lot of dating books since becoming single again. The flirting tips are all good and by the way girls, it is not the makeup that drives the men wild, it is the bombshell walk, shoulders back, stand up straight walk with confidence and move your hips side to side when you walk.

I think this is an excellent book. You don't have to tell anyone you read it but I do think the chapters about drama and things that we all do and do not mean to and then we are crying again because we sabotaged a great relationship.

This is the book for you, grab a box of tissues and listen and open to your heart to it and I think you will see a difference.

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7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Liked it, but....

What made the experience of listening to Why You're Not Married... Yet the most enjoyable?

I liked her wittiness and candor. She made her points well and the book moved along.

What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

He's Not That Into You

Did Tracy McMillan do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

Yes, but there really aren't too many in this book.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

It was a book you could listen to all at once. It made you come back for more. Also a good book for going back and revisiting to glean more info.

Any additional comments?

If you like the F-Bomb then this is the book for you. She seemed only to know that word and used it often. I see that as a lack of work on the author to use profanity so often and not dig a little deeper within herself to express her points better.

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7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • K
  • 03-17-14

Best self-help I have ever read!!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I have recommended this book to everyone! I have not read anything so well put together, so clear, so well-structured and so HELPFUL!

Ever have 10 people tell you the same thing, and then finally one of them says it in just the right way that the light goes off in your head? Tracy did that for me! It was as if all of the things I was trying to understand finally made sense.

I am in my late 20's, a few failed relationships behind me, really wanting to take responsibility for my part of their failure. Tracy's book was amazing. I think I fall into nearly every category she lists. I am now more clear about what I need to work on about myself and my goals for a future relationship. The best part is, she has made all of the same mistakes, so you don't feel like she is being rude or judgmental, just trying to pass off some amazing wisdom. And it is amazing!

What other book might you compare Why You're Not Married... Yet to and why?

Power of Now and New Earth had the spiritual side that she is talking about but not necessarily about relationships.

Which scene was your favorite?

The whole book. I have listened to it numerous times!

Any additional comments?

MUST READ!!!

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

She has a son – boy coddling advice

( this might get you married and turn you into a doormat but there’s no way this advice will keep you married. No way!)
I thought the book was pretty decent until about halfway through and she begins to explain how after she gave birth to her son everything changed. I totally get it as a parent but, she took a skewed version which reminded me too much like coddling boys. All she could do is speak from the love of her son and her perspective of dating has been reflected from that.
Near the end middle she harps for so long on not being selfish not being selfish not being selfish… You can hear her perspective is nothing more than how she wants this fantastic perfect image of a woman for her son and wants to shape us all to be just like that. She is speaking from the perspective of a mother with a son who is a precious innocent little baby. And he is… But halfway, and halfway of the book he will see she is doing nothing more than speaking for the desires that she wants for her son. I wish I could refund.
I couldn’t hear past her biased perspective from the love of her son. Again totally understand that but the book was about the same as anything else you could read ... with a little extra heaviness towards the biased of being sensitive to poor innocent men.
About halfway through the book I couldn’t stomach listening anymore. I’m listening but it’s all hard to listen to. I overlooked the god talk. That was hard but I did it. And now we’re coddling men with two hours left of listening. This is why I only buy cheap books because even the expensive ones really aren’t much different. Never judge based on price. First bad review I’ve ever left but I did not appreciate the man coddling because she had a son. Very old-school views.
If you want to be told you’re selfish about 100 times and any other behavior that’s not tippy toeing and viewing men as fragile little creatures… Go ahead and enjoy this book.

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4 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars
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Horrible waste of time

You can tell she only put about 6 months of work into this. Once you get on Oprah, though, your book will sell regardless. Working on marriage number FOUR, however, certainly makes her an expert on how to get married - whether you STAY married doesn't seem important.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

must listen

this is the BEST book about relationship advice and figuring out more about why I do what than ANY other book I have ever read or listened to. I cringed most of the way as I listened to what I have been doing - and really need to stop. I just met a fantastic man, and have already been following what I learned here from Tracy. EVERY woman should get this book, married or not. OUTSTANDING.

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Perfect for young 20’s with no experience

If you spend 90% of your day on Instagram following Kim Kardashian, watching Sex in the City, recording Tik Tok Videos of you in cut off booty shorts, then this book is for you. However, if you feel you’ve been in any serious long term relationships & already read any decent self help books, skip this. The tone is very demoralizing, naive, and cynical. It does not provide any true depth into how to fix complex situations. Couldn’t finish it was so infuriated at the insults to women.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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awesome

absolutely loved it....amazing educational and most importantly honest and straight up!!! even though was very humorous I enjoyed every bit of it

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Made me laugh while being insightful

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes, I have a lot of friends who showcase these qualities, and I've already thought about buying the hard copy for friends.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Why You're Not Married... Yet?

It's really funny. It's straight to the point but makes you laugh along the way. It also made me feel more empowered even if I only fell into the "you might need this book" category. It's a great "read" and made me think more about what I do and why I'm doing it.

Which scene was your favorite?

You're a bitch. The section's header is just hilarious. While I may not be a bitch, it really taught me how I can apply each section to myself. I also love how she takes a "spiritual" approach to each section without being religious. I'm a religious person but I really liked how this book is for everyone.

Any additional comments?

If you want a lighthearted but down to earth book, this is for you. Some of the other books are too darn serious without being that helpful.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Unqualified fouled mouth

No experience. Not even married herself. Some words of insight, but an entire book, BLAH
Skip this one, trust me

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