Almost everyone has heard of or knows someone who is part of a verbally abusive relationship--if they're not involved in one themselves. In The Verbally Abusive Relationship, you'll find validation and understanding--it's not "all in your head"--and encouragement for your efforts to change the situation.
Author Patricia Evans explores the damaging effects of verbal abuse on children and the family, and offers valuable insight and recommendations to therapists, as well as those who seek therapeutic support.
©1996 Patricia Evans; (P)2008 Listen & Live Audio, Inc.
"A ground-breaking book." (Newsweek)
"This is a new day in America. The most important thing is to realize is that you don't deserve to be treated that way." (Oprah Winfrey)
"A great, great book." (Sonya Friedman, CNN)
I could never say enough about Patricia Evans and her work in the field of verbal abuse. She understands it so fully and explains it so simply that the fog you had about it becomes a clear understanding that gives you the tools to go forward. She has helped me and countless others. I am sure you will enjoy this and take away a clearer mind on the subject, that by nature is extremely confusing and frustrating.
Helpful book as I seek help on the topic.
It helped me to develop a language for the issues I face and realize I too can be verbally abusive.
As a man who lives with an abuser I was really disappointed that is was so one sided. Abusers and victims are both sexes but this book assumed that it was the male abusing every time which did get tiring. Over all a very helpful book. I would rate it a 7/10 and if the sexist issue was resolves a 9.5/10
This book is very enlightening on the subject. It helped me to have more equality in my relationship, and gave me the tools to put a stop to the verbal abuse I was subjected too.
Although written from a woman's perspective, I consider the book to apply for both genders, and therefore useful for both. One needs to read and apply it with discernment as SOME of her advice can lead him/her to become verbally abusive, themselves. One the other hand I find many of her suggestions quite helpful. It tends to have a negative tone but... I do recommend this book to both men and women, single or married. Just make sure you do not allow yourself to be instigated to anger. Just stand your ground and try to differentiate yourself from the abuser.
I am a psychologist and was looking for a resource to recommend to my clients. The author presents the information clearly. This is a good resource for professionals and non-professionals. Yes, I will listen to this book again and discuss the concepts with my clients as they read it as well.
I really liked this book when I fist listened to it, because I was feeling down and could relate to a lot of what she wrote about how some men (and women) treat their partners. For that reason alone, I recommend it since it's a good place to start. I must say though that it's really negative - I mean, during and after listening to it I felt angry, frustrated and resentful towards my boyfriend about every little comment. Since listening to this book, I have read several other books about relationships that have helped me so much more than this book. I wanted to create a more loving, respectful and devoted relationship, and the best books for the women looking for this are "Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl - A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship", followed closely by "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", and thirdly by "The Surrendered Wife - A Woman's Spiritual Guide to True Intimacy with a Man". These books have a more positive outlook on how to influence your man to be a champion in your life, and in his own life. I can only speak from what I'm finding works for me in my relationship, and these other books are far more worth your time since at least they give you tools that will have a positive impact on your relationship.
This book presents an oversimplified argument on the topic of verbal abuse. Some of author's remarks contradict other books/articles I have read. She mention's that:
-Verbal abuse is caused by feelings of powerlessness and fear.
The book "Why Does He Do That?" by Bancroft, however, traces the root of the issue to the abuser's thinking system.
-The partner should defend herself by telling the abuser to "stop it."
This unwise suggestion could be very dangerous as It might provoke the abuser to physically threaten or abuse the partner.
Overall, Evans' faulty definitions and solutions coupled with her disorganized writing style were very disappointing to me. It is difficult for me to understand why my supposedly experienced therapist recommend this book to me.
I love words. I love to read. But sometimes, I'm driving and I like the words read to me. Ain't that why we're all here?
Get to know your own childhood and how we create the same experiences. Feel understood by this book. And hopefully, the people in your life rise to the challenge of change.
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