The Three Marriages

Reimagining Work, Self and Relationship

By: David Whyte

Narrated by: David Whyte

Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins

Publisher's summary

In The Three Marriages, David Whyte, the best-selling author, poet, and speaker, asks you to think about your significant relationship to your partner, your work and your inner self in a radically different way by drawing them into a mutually supportive conversation.

According to Whyte, we humans are involved not just with one marriage with a significant other. We also have made secret vows to our work and unspoken vows to an inner, constantly developing self. These Three Marriages constantly surprise us, and they demand larger and renewed dedication as the years go by. Whyte's thesis is that to separate these marriages in order to balance them is to destroy the fabric of happiness itself; that in each of these marriages, will, effort, and hard work are overused, overrated, and in many ways self-defeating. Happiness, Whyte says, is possible, but only if we re-imagine how we inhabit the worlds of love, work, and self-understanding.

Whyte argues that it is not possible to sacrifice one marriage for any of the others without causing deep psychological damage. He looks to a different way of seeing and bringing these relationships together and invites us to examine each marriage with a fierce but affectionate eye as he shows the nonnegotiable nature at the core of each commitment.

Only by understanding the journey involved in each of the Three Marriages and the stages of their maturation, he says, can we understand how to bring them together in one fulfilled life.

©2009 David Whyte (P)2009 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Always Brilliant & Heartful!

David Whyte is always brilliant and deeply empathetic in a transcendent way. He presents his insights with the integrative ability of a genius. He reads with the gorgeous voice of an artist who lets his spirit come through to all of us that can hear his soul - and our own. This is another of Whyte's life-changing books. I love it in both forms. - Erie Chapman, M.T.S., J.D.

Grateful and Awed

David Whyte has gifted me/us again with a metaphor to reflect on the ways we continuously engage with ourselves, our partners, our work to discover a wholeness and a way of belonging to ourselves and to the world. His voice is my constant companion.

A superb masterpiece and much needed contribution

This is the second time I listen to this book. It’s a spiritual resource that centers me around the important conversations of the three marriages.

Information everyone can use.

Very helpful in understanding relationships and what things worked for the author. Or the way he thinks it should be.

When open to this conversation, opening to a bigger life is well supported

Indispensable for anyone finding themselves heavy in pursuit of opening up to the possibilities of an examined life. You’ll find a mentor with the wisdom to clear away the often perplexing confusion and ambivalence found when searching in the dark edges of the frontier of being.

Must Read

David Whyte may not have all the answers, but he has the questions that drive us and the listen/read is well worth the effort. I'm recommending this book to anyone who wants to grow their personal/familial ability to be a blessing the world!

David Whyte inspires passion

I have been a fan of his poetry for many years and have some of his poetry books on tape. Hearing him read his poems is inspirational and moving. This book is full of insights and I started it again as soon as I finished it. I highly recommend it.

Fantastic book

Well written and insightful, I would recommend this book to anyone. It's a fascinating way to frame the concepts of relationship, work, and self and the author's mix of personal experience and literary references makes for a wonderful read.

Blending work, relationships, and the self.

I've been a fan of David Whyte for quite a while now, since at least the late '90's when I really began to look at my place in the world and how I belonged (or didn't). A "corporate poet", he uses poetry, both his and others, to show how we should approach life, being bold and vulnerable, willing to fall and get hurt in order to grow.

In THE THREE MARRIAGES, he follows several poets, writers, and historical figures through their lives to show how they tackled life in regards to a work or vocation, relationships with friends and specifically a husband or wife, and the most intimate marriage of all, the one with ourselves. Instead of finding balance between the three, finding an equilibrium that keeps them separate, he suggests that they feed each other, blending to create a full, satisfying life, and that to diminish one for the sake of another actually diminishes both or all three.

I read the hardcover when it first came out, and found it a bit obtuse and hard to fathom. The audio book I found much easier to absorb, a chapter here and there read in Whyte's slight Welsh accent much clearer to understand what he is trying to say. There is very little poetry in this book, but plenty of philosophy and material to contemplate and consider, including more than a little Zen, but no matter your religious tradition this is a great book for trying to come to terms with how full your life can be if you pay attention to all aspects, and keep the conversation between the three marriages flowing and involved.

Another Great David Whyte!

Whyte advances a clever hypothesis about the major commitments that govern our lives and determine our happiness. He uses amusing and informative historical and personal anecdotes to reinforce his theses. As with all his works, this is a deep book with some profound and potentially life-altering guidance.

Entirely engaging and a great adjunct to his other works. Highly recommend if you’re juggling many life situations (and who isn’t?)