©1997 Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, All Rights Reserved, Abridgment Approved by the Authors; (P)1997 Time Warner AudioBooks; ©1997 Time Warner AudioBooks (Packaging Elements Only), A Division of Time Warner Trade Publishing
"A must read!" (People Magazine)
I wasn't able to thoroughly enjoy this book because of its horrible audio. I don't know what the problem is, it's just very hard to listen to. The principles contained in this book seem to make sense, and I've been doing the exact opposite for a long while. I will give these suggestions a try. My aim is not to get married like they (overly) stress the end result should be. I just want someone agreeable to share my life with, and that may not include marriage... I think that was just way overemphasized in this book. I do like very much that they say that I should have boundaries. God knows that I've been trying to please everyone my entire life and it has only brought me sadness... I will try to live by the rules for a while and see what happens. If it weren't for the crappy audio on this book, I would've given it 5 stars.
This is a well structured approach to dos and don't of dating the men in our modern society. It uses common sense and sound advice. I tested the approaches, they work and there are very few advices the authors provide that I would ever disagree with.
I first heard about this book from a friend who knew a friend who got her boyfriend by following the rules.
While I can't say I have shared in this success, I do think there are some good principles listed in here. Definitely a good place to start, build upon and tweak for what seems to work and not work.
I know a lot of critics of The Rules think that it is too dramatic, too harsh and paints an unflattering picture of men and women...
BUT as a 21 year old college student who is: trusting of all, forgives and overlooks faults easily, can be naive as a child, and has been told that one of my hobbies is BEING NICE (not to be immodest)... this book was very helpful in changing my attitude toward guys.
The authors advocate following the rules to a T to ensure results. I don't.. maybe why I am single?? Just kidding. And truly I don't believe that any one method or way can or will work for everyone. And that may be another problem critics have with this book: It promotes itself as a cure-all for any situation, and I just don't think that is realistic.
However what this book helped me with was admitting that I had not previously been giving myself the respect I deserved, being too lenient with guys and just giving too much of myself in general.
So although they propose you listen to this as many times as needed until you memorize all the rules... I just listened once, took the big picture... and consciously try to apply the logic in their message to my daily male interactions.
Plus if nothing else, I can honestly say that I respect myself so much more now, and I am happy that I was able to read this while I am still young. Many of my friends throw themselves at guys and constantly clear their schedules "just in case." I used to be the same way, but now I just laugh.
While I am single, I must say that while all of my friends are constantly going out and many even turning to online dating... I am getting asked out left and right! Professors, pharmacists, class mates and beyond.
I can't say everyone will have this same success, and I am definitely not saying it is all because of the rules... but I do think it helped me to at least initially re-think some of my perspective.
As a last side note, I think this book is coupled great with Mars and Venus On A Date (same author as Men are from mars women are from Venus).
While The Rules will tell you what to do and not to do... I think getting the underlying deeper psychology and psychological differences between the races from Mars and Venus on a date will help further communication, understanding and behavior toward the male race.
One critique of this book is that it gives guys too much credit. Too much credit in assuming that they are all casanovas who KNOW to ask us out several days in advance, and KNOW that we don't want to be asked out via text message. Some guys are just clueless and don't know these things. While the book does offer tips for suggesting these things... I really do think that some guys may try their best and still not meet up to the Rules requirements.
I've listened to this twice because the first time I thought it was awful. so I listened to it again to see if I missed something.
I like the general concept but I thought the author's probably have codependent issues in their relationships which allows them to stay in their relationships not saying a word & being obedient.
I really didn't like how they explained women to be catty or shallow. perhaps it's that way in their works but I don't think I know a single catty woman.
Some good sound advise but I think the message could have been delivered in a different way.
The content is great but the quality of the recording is really bad making hard to understand some words :( I also believe that if the subjects/rules are separated in chapters or any other way to access them directly it would be more efficient to study better. Thanks!!
This book was super insulting to any person who values honesty. Throughout the book, it is repeatedly suggested that you essentially deceive your man until he proposes, then you can feel free to reveal the real, controlling, emotional, demanding you.
Insulting to imply that men should be treated this way, or that a woman should hide her true self just to get a "prize."
Out-dated, preposterous, and amoral. Boo.
"Insightful, Inspiring and True"
The rules showed me that I had been far too nice in all my relationships and so had to toughen up! I really enjoyed the narration by the writers themselves, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. They knew there material so well, and this showed - really well read.
I would recommend this audio book to anyone, who wants to turn their relationship around.
I found the book to have good advice, as I have been doing everything the book advices not to do. Hopefully it works. The only thing I'm not happy with advice wise, is the whole biting your tongue thing once you're married. Recording wise, it's narrated well, but the sound, sounds like it was recorded over the phone and long distance. It's very tinny! Overall, I would recommend this book
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