©1997 Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, All Rights Reserved, Abridgment Approved by the Authors; (P)1997 Time Warner AudioBooks; ©1997 Time Warner AudioBooks (Packaging Elements Only), A Division of Time Warner Trade Publishing
"A must read!" (People Magazine)
I wasn't able to thoroughly enjoy this book because of its horrible audio. I don't know what the problem is, it's just very hard to listen to. The principles contained in this book seem to make sense, and I've been doing the exact opposite for a long while. I will give these suggestions a try. My aim is not to get married like they (overly) stress the end result should be. I just want someone agreeable to share my life with, and that may not include marriage... I think that was just way overemphasized in this book. I do like very much that they say that I should have boundaries. God knows that I've been trying to please everyone my entire life and it has only brought me sadness... I will try to live by the rules for a while and see what happens. If it weren't for the crappy audio on this book, I would've given it 5 stars.
This is a well structured approach to dos and don't of dating the men in our modern society. It uses common sense and sound advice. I tested the approaches, they work and there are very few advices the authors provide that I would ever disagree with.
This is the worst drivel I've ever listened to. I couldn't get past the first chapter!
They started to lose me when they said women should wear lipstick even when out jogging. It got worse from there. The authors advocate not making eye contact with men, not talking about your interests unless you're commenting on something a man brought up first, and basically sitting there being a barbie doll completely devoid of any personality.
I'm all for a little playing hard to get but this system seems to be about avoiding doing or saying anything that could ever possibly offend, even if it means losing yourself and anything that makes you unique in the process. That said, they do give instructions for being a 'special creature' in the way that they define, which seems to be about gliding gracefully everywhere and avoiding looking at anyone or having an opinion.
Please women, save your money on this one! I wish I had.
“The Rules” does an excellent job of guiding you on what to do to land a marriage proposal from Dr. Doormat. Is Dr. Doormat your Mr. Right? That’s up to you to figure out. As a not-so-recently divorced guy, I'm always interested in finding out about the opposite sex and their lines of thinking. I know this title has a following, so it only makes sense to know "The Rules". “The Rules” basically hinge on making yourself scarce and opaque. If marriage is all you want, go for it - plenty of doormats await your beckon. If you actually want a fulfilling relationship (or fulfilling marriage) you might do better having a look at books that help you avoid Dr. Doormat’s booty calls and focus on finding Mr. Right.
I first heard about this book from a friend who knew a friend who got her boyfriend by following the rules.
While I can't say I have shared in this success, I do think there are some good principles listed in here. Definitely a good place to start, build upon and tweak for what seems to work and not work.
I know a lot of critics of The Rules think that it is too dramatic, too harsh and paints an unflattering picture of men and women...
BUT as a 21 year old college student who is: trusting of all, forgives and overlooks faults easily, can be naive as a child, and has been told that one of my hobbies is BEING NICE (not to be immodest)... this book was very helpful in changing my attitude toward guys.
The authors advocate following the rules to a T to ensure results. I don't.. maybe why I am single?? Just kidding. And truly I don't believe that any one method or way can or will work for everyone. And that may be another problem critics have with this book: It promotes itself as a cure-all for any situation, and I just don't think that is realistic.
However what this book helped me with was admitting that I had not previously been giving myself the respect I deserved, being too lenient with guys and just giving too much of myself in general.
So although they propose you listen to this as many times as needed until you memorize all the rules... I just listened once, took the big picture... and consciously try to apply the logic in their message to my daily male interactions.
Plus if nothing else, I can honestly say that I respect myself so much more now, and I am happy that I was able to read this while I am still young. Many of my friends throw themselves at guys and constantly clear their schedules "just in case." I used to be the same way, but now I just laugh.
While I am single, I must say that while all of my friends are constantly going out and many even turning to online dating... I am getting asked out left and right! Professors, pharmacists, class mates and beyond.
I can't say everyone will have this same success, and I am definitely not saying it is all because of the rules... but I do think it helped me to at least initially re-think some of my perspective.
As a last side note, I think this book is coupled great with Mars and Venus On A Date (same author as Men are from mars women are from Venus).
While The Rules will tell you what to do and not to do... I think getting the underlying deeper psychology and psychological differences between the races from Mars and Venus on a date will help further communication, understanding and behavior toward the male race.
One critique of this book is that it gives guys too much credit. Too much credit in assuming that they are all casanovas who KNOW to ask us out several days in advance, and KNOW that we don't want to be asked out via text message. Some guys are just clueless and don't know these things. While the book does offer tips for suggesting these things... I really do think that some guys may try their best and still not meet up to the Rules requirements.
"Insightful, Inspiring and True"
The rules showed me that I had been far too nice in all my relationships and so had to toughen up! I really enjoyed the narration by the writers themselves, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. They knew there material so well, and this showed - really well read.
I would recommend this audio book to anyone, who wants to turn their relationship around.
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