The Real Purpose of Parenting is a series of stories and life lessons from the world of a therapist, known as The Parent Coach. Very well-intentioned, well meaning parents are at the point of crisis with their kids because their own best parenting efforts are NOT producing the children they want them to be. And there, according to Dr. Phil Dembo, lies the problem.
In The Real Purpose of Parenting, even the best parents are capable of smothering the growth of their kid’s life. This can happen because the truth of who the child is, and what the child truly needs is often overlooked or ignored in the agenda that many parents lay out for their kids. Thus...often landing the family in a colossal melt down.
Dr. Dembo shows simple family “turn around” strategies that reframe the real purpose of parenting and gives each family, and child, their own salvation.
©2012 Dr. Phillip B. Dembo (P)2012 Gildan Media, LLC
“If only we all could have had Dr. Phil Dembo as our father! His book reads less as a self-help manual and more like insights from a wise elder.” (Vickie Falcone, M.A., author of Buddha Never Raised Kids & Jesus Didn’t Drive Carpool: Seven Principles for Parenting With Soul)
This book is one of the shortest but also the most profound books on audible!
The stories that he tells hit so close to home. The entire book was full of memorable moments. I will not forget any of the hypothetical family characters.
The narration takes a while to get used to. Dr. Dembo has a strong Midwest accent. He does a great job of narrating once you get used to the accent. I'm glad I kept listening!
The story of the family whose oldest son is in law school, the story of the girl who asked for more time with her parents, and the overall concept of a persons identity vs. their family's expectations of them were all very moving. They helped me understand, as a 26 yr old, why I felt so lost and unhappy, and how to confront those feelings without 'going underground.'
Please write more books Dr. Dembo!!!!!!!!!!!
I live in Thailand, and love to listen to audible.
This book will change your life. It explains how parents want children to be the same as them, held up to their standards. But it's much more than that. It's a whole different way of looking at the world. It changed my world view. This book is a must read. Not only that, the author is entertaining and tells about case studies which really livens up the book. It's excellent.
Great to get another perspective. Stick with the book - once he got into the examples in chapter 6 it started coming together better for me. We started writing our family constitution and my 4 and 5 year old are really enjoying it. I've always valued being up front with expectations and consequences so this book helped me recharge.
I thoroughly enjoyed the message Dr. Bembo had to share in this book. His take on parenting is inspiring and I hope I am able to implement a lot of the advice.
On the down side his voice and inflection were a bit dry to listen to. Things like speaking the word "sigh" instead of just sighing was a bit weird for me. But he is a doctor not a voice talent so I tried to look past that.
Yes as it has real life examples with helpful insights
The frankness and honesty
Children live out their own experiences not our picture of what those experiences should be
Worth every cent and more
This is wonderfully written, easily understood and very logical. If you are a parent of a challenging teenager, this is a great reference for motivation and consequences.
Dr. Dembo outlines a great philosophy that the role of parents is to coach children. I like a lot of the concepts and philosophy that he outlines and will try to use many of the ideas. Athough we might tweak them a bit so they don't sound so academic or negative. For example , rather than having a family meeting maybe we call it the family check in. I also like his suggestions for family rituals and responding to children without emotions. I would actually be very interested in hearing more of his thoughts on responding to childens accomplishments. The book does not really spend time describing how to respond to children's accomplishments and successes, instead it focuses on how parents deal with events they find challenging.
I have to agree with others who commented that the narration was very even toned. I didn't find it as annoying as some of the other readers. After a while you get used to his slow-pace. I think it reflects how he tries to work with children and parents in stressful situations (by remaining calm at all times.) While his attempts at humor are not lol funny, I though they were endearing because you know he's genuinely trying to keep things lighthearted.
My only critique of the books content is that at times the doctor is too academic in his explanation. At times I got lost in his general explanation of the theory. I think it would be more helpful to use more examples to illustrate the concepts; as well as provide alternative responses that parents could have used instead. I assume this is intentional on the doctor's part, that he wants parents to find their own solutions. However, for me examples are the best way to learn soft skills like this that require more practice.
For instance, honoring the intentions of the child's feelings is fairly vague. A few more examples might make the desired behavior clearer. Likewise the cop and Mohawk examples he provides on responding vs reactioning were helpful. I wish he had given more examples or even compared / contrasting responses vs reaction. A side by side comparison would have helped me start to recognize the patterns.
Overall I really enjoyed the book gave it 4 out of 5 stars because I think that concepts are what matters and you can get over the sometimes academic approach.
I prefer audio for non-fiction because I have a harder time getting through them in print version. This book, however, had lots of stories woven in, so it probably would have been good both ways. There was one chapter that was a little heavy that I think was much easier to get through being on audio.
A great parenting book to shift the way you parent
I personally just didn't care for the narrator's voice. I usually am happy when the narrator is the author, but this time it made it a little hard to listen to.
I could definitely see myself and my children in some of his anecdotes.
Fantastic. Life changing.
How simply understood his message was.
He reads this book, so the flow and heart in the book resonates through his voice.
I am currently putting into practice what I learned from Dr. Dembo with my nephew who is being raised by my parents. I also have a little girl and don't want to parent how my parents' parented. Understanding the dynamics of family struggles and clarifying the pitfalls we go through will help guide me to respond and not react.
Dr. Dembo is absolutely amazing!!!! I wish I had known him when I was younger. I wish my parents had known him. The world will be a much better place with this book.
The author relates to the readers with authentic experience and is emotionally one with the reader's concern to succeed as a father.
The book made me reflect and think on my personal parenting choices and how they affect my children long term. It made me confront the reality of parenting, the seriousness of its effect on another human being (my kids), and helped me to realistically assess my overall parenting/leadership/role-model/coaching skills.
this book will convince and convict you to try harder to love, forgive, be patient, be a coach, be a leader, be a motivator, be a good listener, and be understanding to your children.
Complicated topics explained clearly with real life examples. Also touching. Possibly the most useful book I've ever read. Thank you Dr. Dembo.
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