In The Gifts of Imperfection, Bren Brown, a leading expert on shame, authenticity, and belonging, shares 10 guideposts on the power of Wholehearted Living - a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness. Each day we face a barrage of images and messages from society and the media telling us who, what, and how we should be. We are led to believe that if we could only look perfect and lead perfect lives, we'd no longer feel inadequate. So most of us perform, please, and perfect, all the while thinking, "What if I can't keep all of these balls in the air? Why isn't everyone else working harder and living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or give up? When can I stop proving myself?"
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Bren Brown, Ph.D., a leading expert on shame, authenticity and belonging, shares what she's learned from a decade of research on the power of Wholehearted Living - a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.
In her 10 guideposts, Brown engages our minds, hearts, and spirits as she explores how we can cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough," and to go to bed at night thinking, "Yes, I am sometimes afraid, but I am also brave. And, yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, but that doesn't change the truth that I am worthy of love and belonging."
©2010 Brene Brown (P)2010 Audible, Inc.
"Courage, compassion, and connection: Through Bren's research, observations, and guidance, these three little words can open the door to amazing change in your life." (Ali Edwards, author of Life Artist)
"Bren Brown courageously tackles the dark emotions that get in the way of leading a fuller life; read this book and let some of that courage rub off on you." (Daniel H. Pink, New York Times best-selling author of A Whole New Mind)
"This important book is about the lifelong journey from 'What will people think?' to 'I am enough.' Brown's unique ability to blend original research with honest storytelling makes reading The Gifts of Imperfection like having a long, uplifting conversation with a very wise friend who offers compassion, wisdom, and great advice.' (Harriet Lerner, New York Times best-selling author of The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Connection)
I really enjoyed the authors humor throughout.
I have heard the author's talk on TED (highly recommended) so I have heard her speak and really enjoy her speaking style. She has a snappy, dry wit that would have been most enjoyable to listen to. But the reader's voice is pleasant.
This book came along at a perfect time for me. I have been accompanied by shame my entire life, this book showed me how to process shame and negativity instead of carrying them around with me. It not only discussed the topic but showed me new ways to move forward. I can truly say I am and my relationships are better for having listened to this book and I will listen over and over.
P.S. To the reviewers point about the book dealing too heavily with children and family issues. I do not have children and found it perfectly enjoyable and was able to extrapolate the point the author was trying to make. It is not a book on or about family. It's about how we choose to live our lives. The author has children and that is the paradigm she speaks from. It by no means diminishes the meaning for those of us without.
Private intellectual, writer, and retired academic. Currently R&D director for Gravitational Systems Engineering, Inc.
This book was both true to its title, and extremely eye opening. Dig deep, Dr. Brown uses stories effectively to show us the shell of conformity that constrains both our joy and our happiness. Love is not a feeling its a behavior. I strongly recommend it.
Reading this book is like a "feel good" session with a therapist. It encourages you to let go of your imperfections and live more whole heartedly. When listening to the stories in the book, you realize all those little negative thoughts that stop you from being authentic (for example, "he's being a jerk" instead of "he said something that was true and painful). The journey towards wholehearted living is a practice you would do everyday (or try as much as you can). I'm sure the key points that I take away from this book now are those things meaningful to me at this point in my life. I plan to read the book again and see if I find other things to work on.
One thing I must say is that I do NOT like this rating system...this work is not a novel, and what does performance mean? The work is based on Brown's research. It expands on the YouTube videos. I wish we could all have the courage to work though the issues that she puts to paper (so to speak). I have read this book much the same way as I do many of the books like this, which are in my library--helter skelter and then go back to the beginning and read it beginning to end.
I study this work from a slightly different angle. Our imperfections are our gifts--what we bring to the table to make this a better place to live. Reading with an open heart is essential otherwise the person walks away disappointed and put off. Brown's work is not a how to. Her work does give real to life examples that requires us to listen and then do the work--does it speak to you and if so then search for your solution and do your work. She makes visible the shift of consciousness. Well worth the time.
I am going to have to read this book instead of listening to the Audible version. The artist utilized has such a high pitched voice, whistles her "s", and has a hard "g" at the end of words. I find it impossible to concentrate on the writing!
Yes. Set time aside on a Saturday.
I bought this book after watching an amazing youtube video of her Ted Talk. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel like this book gave me that much more insight than her 15 minute talk did. The author kept referring to herself as a “researcher” but she didn’t include any of her research! She summed her findings up for us, but we didn’t get to hear any of the specifics. Instead, she talked about her own life (which is only semi-interesting). And she also spent a lot of time defining key terms, which also got old after a while. It was nice that she opened up and made the book personal, but it would have been more compelling to hear about other people’s stories and experiences (such as all those people she was supposedly researching) to help illustrate her points. Using her own life as the only example came acrosss as self-involved, and it really limited the whole scope of the book. She should have included her own story in the introduction as a way of framing her main points and then delved into the research in the body of the book.
practicing psychotherapist interested in therapy, psychology, and recommendations for those seeking happiness, practical solutions, and understanding
Brene Brown is one of my favorite researchers in the field of emotional study. The Gifts of Imperfection is a great illustration of what it means to life a full life along with operational goals and definitions of words like shame, authenticity, and vulerability. She uses anecdotes and research to make these points in a powerful way.
My only disappointment with the audio book is the narrator, who is not at all a bad narrator, just isn't at all like Brene Brown. Like many people, I became aware of Brene Brown's work after her TED talk went viral ("The Power of Vulnerability") in June 2010. Her voice and way of speaking is moving and powerful to say the least. I was disappointed not to hear her voice on the audiobook since she's inspiring, funny, and kind of comforting to me.
**Campaign for Brene Brown to read her audio books!!** Other than that, I loved it :)
I've never read the print version
Absolutely. Love her sense of humor, the obvious amount of research she puts into her subject matter, and how she personalizes all of that into a very down-to-earth, intelligent book about how to get over yourself and live life more fully.
She gives lots of quotes from other authors, recommends their books, gives a pep talk but in a non-corny way (for the most part). I did get a little tired of the repetitious "How do you dig deep?" I could have done without ever hearing that more than once and it's throughout the entire book. Along with that question is the "breakdown/, strike that, spiritual breakthrough" or something like that. You'd think I would remember but I think I purposely blocked it out because it was sorta but not really funny the first time I heard it. It was making me want to throw things out my window at other cars on the freeway by the hundredth time I'd heard it. Which is a a little bit against what I'm trying to learn here - to be a little more patient with other people and myself. I'm wanting to free myself of some bad habits at work, home, and in my head. It's a special little playground for my sickest thoughts. She gave really good advice with excellent research and references to back up what she was saying.
I felt as though she was a good friend of mine siting in the backyard telling life stories together. It just was't my turn yet but it didn't matter because I was transfixed by her and her descriptions of how she came to her realizations personally and professionally. The narrator was so good that I thought it was actually the author until I looked to see for myself. This was very inspiring in a barefoot in the backyard drinkin a brew and talkin with my girlfriend kinda way. Except this girlfriend is sober, funny, unbelievably intelligent and caring.
kinda like most of my girlfriends are anyway. :)
Not that I know of
I didn't want to stop listening and actually enjoyed my 2.5 hour commute yesterday morning coming in to work rather than trying to stay awake and in a positive frame of mind while battling Houston rush-hour traffic.
Loved it! Definitely gonna listen to another one of Brene' Brown's books and I'll probably look up some other stuff the narrator has done too. I loved her voice.
This was a valuable book that I may later re-read. The author, Brene Brown, relates various fears, such as the fear of failure and the fear of rejection, to the overriding emotion of shame. I found most of her ideas to be well presented and on point.
The author doesn't venture much into religion, but where she does, she doesn't commit to anything, she just has a very vague view of how that fits into her world view. I didn't agree with her vague views and found them distracting in relation to the rest of the book. She sounded like she was tryng too hard to not offend anyone to present a real perspective on the spiritual aspect of the human experience.
She did, however, provide a clear explanation of just how the fear of shame impacts and even creates a lot of the other emotions that account for many of our actions. I've actually never heard an author address this topic in this way, and I found it refreshing to hear such a frank discussion of such an important aspect of our existance that we would rather forget about. Ms. Brown reminds us that facing shame and our fear of it can free us to be brave and to forgive ourselves enough to experience joy.
The narrator has such a wonderful voice for this type of book. She is simultaneously encouraging and calming. Her voice is sweet with a natural cadence that keeps you engaged. I listened to the book at a speed of 1.5 and found Lauren Fortgang's performance to be perfect.
I would recommend this book to anyone who has a problem with the fear of failure and rejection or who feels that no matter what they do, they are somehow doing the wrong thing and missing out on life. It won't, of course, address every problem in life, but you might gain some perspectve that will help you to see some of your problems in the light of how you relate to shame, and that might help you to make better decisions. After all, isn't that the most one can expect out of a self-help book? Just don't take her vague religious ideas too seriously.
I liked the way she poked and prodded at what wholehearted living is. She does it in an entertaining way using many personal stories that you can relate to. Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. Her expertise as a researcher on shame, authenticity, and belonging gives her experiences more depth. This is not a how to guide and she raises as many questions as she answers. Highly recommend this audio and her Ted Talks.
"Learn how to accept yourself"
I found this book really easy to listen to. I like the narrator's style. The book was a series of strories with a life application and a good dose of humour and down-to-earthness. I found it made a lot of sense. It is not a list of "how to"s which I found a refreshing change. I am planning to listen to it again to make sure I squeeze every last drop of value out of it...
"Brilliant and very helpful."
Thought-provoking. Helpful. Insightful.
Realising I did some of the things mentioned and I could easily change this.
It was fine, she sounded like she was actually talking to you rather than reading but was a little robotic sounding when reading quotes.
Be yourself: Life is too short to worry about what others think.
Definitely worth listening too, give it a chance it may just change your life.
"Insightful and thought provoking"
I finished this book today and really REALLY loved it. For anyone sceptical about "self help" books this offers a refreshing change, and as a qualitative researcher Brene Brown has a scientific approach, but the book isn't dry or dull as a result. She is humorous, empathetic and I am looking forward to reading more by the same author. I thought the only pity was that she didn't narrate the book herself, as she is an excellent public speaker, and the book was personal - though saying that the narrator did a fantastic job!
"fantastic, wise and witty"
I love this book - if you've seen Brene Brown's TED talk you'll already know her style - impassioned, funny and inpeciably researched. This book's practical in it's focus - lots of tools and ideas to help improve your ability to live a more 'whole hearted' life. The only disappointment is that Brene Brown doesn't narrate it.
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