The Gift of Failure

How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed

By: Jessica Lahey

Narrated by: Jessica Lahey

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

In the tradition of Paul Tough’s How Children Succeed and Wendy Mogel’s The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, this groundbreaking manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life’s inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults.

Modern parenting is defined by an unprecedented level of overprotectiveness: parents who rush to school at the whim of a phone call to deliver forgotten assignments, who challenge teachers on report card disappointments, mastermind children’s friendships, and interfere on the playing field. As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.

Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom.

Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help children succeed.

A guidepost for parents and teachers

As a parent of three children and as a second grade teacher, I found this book was speaking to me. Every word echoed my own experiences as a parent. We have begun implementing many of these ideas at home and I have seen my 13 year old take some risks she would have avoided prior. I have also out some practices into practice in my classroom and I am seeing happier kids with more persistence and resilience. This is a book I recommend to all the parents in my classroom. If I could make it required reading, I would! Thank you Jessica!

Every Parent should read this book!

This book needs to be at the top of every expecting mothers list and every parents Christmas list.

Spot On

Children are so capable and parents treat them like delicate China, not realizing that's more harmful than helpful. Excellent read.

Must read for parents

I've worked with people who struggle with depression, anxiety, and addiction for years, and I see how many people struggle with a fear of failure. I used to have the same issue, but I eventually learned that failure is the key to improvement, resilience and success. So, when I came across this book from Jessica Lahey, I had to pick up a copy, and it was definitely worth it. 

The book is primarily for parents, but teachers can benefit from this book as well. So many of us are afraid to let our kids fail in school, with relationships, and in life in general. What Lahey teaches us is that this is setting them up for failure when they finally reach the real world. As hard as it is to let our kids fail, we have to let them. As the adults, Lahey discusses how it's just our job to help get their wheels turning so they can be better critical thinkers while also developing autonomy.

Must have for parents & teachers

must have for parents & teachers to have in their arsenal. I listened to the audio book & have the paperback as well & refer to both often