Parents often struggle to achieve balance between the boundaries children need to be secure and the freedom they need to grow as individuals. Here you’ll find practical tools for transforming your family— creating an environment that enhances your child’s security and freedom, respect and openness, competence and spontaneity, reciprocity and creativity. Along the way, you can create conversations both parents and children will cherish.
In this audiobook:
©2006 Wyatt-MacKenzie (P)2006 Sharon Ellison
“Sharon’s methods work flaw-lessly.” (Derick Miller, President, Berkeley, Calif., PTA Council)
“I believe this is the most powerful structure I’ve learned in my training as a marriage and family therapist.” (Bette Acuff, Ph.D., M.A.)
When Sharon offered the "If you, then I" method. It is so easy to use and has worked amazing with my little ones. Basically you say what you would have said before just you insert "If you, then I". For instance. If you... do not finish your dinner, Then I... am not willing to give you a dessert. If you... finish your dinner, Then I... will get your dessert for you.
So easy to use and made a huge impact on our daily life. Any time there was a power struggle I used this simple strategy. Any time I felt frustrated and overwhelmed and couldn't remember any other tool in the book, I could always remember the "if you, then I" technique.
I like how she kept her tools very simple. So simple I felt odd using them, however, when I did I noticed a difference in my relationship with my children.
I feel grateful that I can enjoy my children more and undergo power struggles with them less and less.
In the genre of parenting books? Absolutely number one. 123 Magic really worked for us during the elementary school years, but with a middle school tween, we had to reel in that attitude somehow. I have been searching for something life altering because that is what was required. I devoured this book very fast. It was like getting a cheat sheet to parenting but it hurt to hear how my husband and I may have been crushing a little spirit in our daughter in our attempt at parenting. All we can do is repair by moving forward in a more successful direction and this book is that path. Immediate implementation with immediate results. This is a very sophisticatedly simple approach to the little mind games that really are POWER STRUGGLES! THEY WANT THE POWER and are manipulating every opening, every opportunity, and every weakness for it -with badgering! That is a good thing too, though. You want your child to have power, just well directed power. Here is that mythical 'Manual' "we all missed" in the delivery room. Please get this. We need more children from this method of child rearing.
You will be saddened how simple it is to crush your child's spirit yet happy to know how even simpler it is to make mindful, independent, thinking, children quite immediately. They are happier, you are happier. The world is happier?
Should be mandatory reading for all parents. It is the key!
The author gives realistic examples of ways to respond to your child that encourage the child to make good choices, and even if he doesn't make the choice we prefer, the concequence is clear, making the child accountable for his choices. The advice she gives is simple, clear, logical, and easy to apply. I listened to the book 3 times, I got so much out of it. I have been using the conversation techniques not only with my teenage son, but in other situations as well. I highly recommend this book. The author's speaking style may be irritating if you want an exciting voice with huge inflection, but I think the message she builds on requires a calm demeanor and encourages calmness in the listener.
"Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting"
The only self-help Audio book that I've listened more than once and keep going back to it.
It has been useful in communications with people in general, but most of all with my two children.
Also parents who have a hard time saying "No" will especially find it helpful.
The 'Taking Power Struggle Out of Parenting' will be my companion for some years to come.
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