Here is an essential manual for creating a positive, respectful, and rewarding relationship with a strong-willed child. Based on proven techniques and procedures, parents and teachers alike will welcome this book.
©2001 Robert J. MacKenzie (P)2011 Tantor
"This book should be a part of every parent's and school's reference library." (Judy E. Hunt-Brown, principal)
The content was good and I think overall it gives you tools to be a better parent. In my case, I'm a father, I don't have that big of a problem with any of my kids but the themes discussed here are very applicable.
I've already had a chance to apply these things in real life, and they work! I feel so happy to handle a situation very different of the ways I'd have used in the past, and obtained the desired results: kids do better, I feel much better, and we all communicate better at the end.
I've read reviews where they criticize the narrator and for me it has never been an issue... but for this particular book I felt some tension and I felt that the voice didn't help. I can say that I was tired while reading the book, I think the narrator has a good voice, but it's just that the book was slower and it felt monotonous, repetitive ... I've been on the other side, also tired and hearing a super cheerful voice but didn't like it either. I'd have preferred a different voice, less deep.
I almost stopped hearing the audiobook, but I'm glad I finished it. It does have good applicable content. In my case it was a hard listen, but in the end I'd totally recommend if you have a strong-willed child.
The advice in this book is the only advice I've gotten from a parenting book (and I've read quite a few) that has been effective almost from the moment I started to try it out with my strong-willed daughter.
It espouses, among other things, time-outs and natural consequences which are frowned upon by the more modern books I've read. But it stresses that this type of discipline must NOT be meted out in a punitive, angry, or mean-spirited way. And that, I believe, keeps this kind of effective discipline from crossing the line into cruelty.
I HIGHLY recommend this book if you have a strong-willed child. But do read other, newer books that set out very different but still very valuable approaches. No one book has all the answers or the one right approach, but this one works both well and fairly quickly with the kids who are less naturally compliant.
Note that it's approach might be a bit over-the-top for compliant children. Still, meaning what you say and using less words with compliant children probably won't hurt...
This was life changing- It was one of the best audiobooks I've ever listened to.
Alan Sklar was very entertaining. He sounded very natural, as if he was the author or story teller. I'm very tempted to find other books he's done.
No, but I listened to it in the car while driving. Once getting through it once I started it again. It was that good :)
There isn't a handbook that they hand you at the hospital when you become parents. Most of us are out there winging it, doing the best we can. I knew what kind of parent I DIDN'T want to be. I also had a sense of what good parents should be like, but wasn't sure how to do it. When my oldest turned 3, I also had a 2 month old baby. I can't be sure that my 3 year old is strong willed- though he may be. But he is three years old, and as I keep hearing, 'Terrible twos are nothing, wait until you see three!" As he adjusted to having a sibling, his toddler tantrums were becoming commonplace and he seemed to stop listening to me altogether. I found myself exhausted every day as I tried giving him guidance on certain behaviors: I was asking him politely to stop doing things, then telling him not to, then repeating myself, then asking him if he was listening, then asking him how many times I had to tell him, etc. I was getting frustrated, beginning to feel angry and powerless, and wondering why he was 'choosing' to misbehave and break the rules when he knew better. At the same time, he was getting angry at me, and telling me so. Occasionally he was walking up and hitting me out of frustration. I thought to myself, "If we don't get this figured out now, there is no way he will listen to us or respect us in 10 years!" There was no way I was going to wait until he was a teenager to learn to parent in a more effective way. I knew if I did, it would be too late. I mean, if he doesn't follow the rules at 3 years old, there's probably no way he will follow them when he's 13!
This book really changed my life. Honestly, I was doing things wrong, and I sort of knew it, but wasn't sure how to do it better. Like most parents, I knew that we needed to be consistent and set limits, but what does that really entail and how do we do it effectively, respectfully and without drama? This book has those answers and more. First the author gives insights into the child's behavior and the parents methods of teaching, and examines whether they are compatible. I now understand that his job is to test and mine is to teach. And my method of teaching (i.e. talking and repeating myself over and over again) was completely ineffective for my child. I would venture to guess this doesn't work for most children, but I only know my own experiences with my child. I was expending loads of energy, exhausting myself, and both my child and I were frustrated most of the time. He also examines other ineffective 'teaching methods'.
The author then lays out a very simple methods that I think most people can follow. He also gives loads of examples of ineffective methods, and then explains better, more effective approaches. The examples really appealed to me and I found them wildly entertaining. In some respects I was glad to know I was not alone in my struggles. I also felt they were real world examples of how to put the methods into practice (and what not to do). I don't think these parenting methods only work for strong will kids. I think all children can benefit from consistency, limit setting, respect, and teaching.
Thank goodness I found this book. It really changed my life (and my son's.) I truly believe he will be better prepared for life if I parent him this way. The methods in this book felt so natural. By following the suggestions in the book, I began setting limits, and following through with consequences. I now feel that I can be consistent because when I am not tired and worn down from repeating myself and battling him, I make good, logical decisions. Personally, I feel like a weight has been lifted: I have more energy, and don't feel so worn and stressed all of the time. My son is more compliant and isn't getting frustrated and angry at me anymore because I am able to express clearly what I want him to do and he knows now that it is not optional. He is even helping around the house. "Setting Limits" is really is the best parenting advice I've ever found. I feel like this is the missing parenting manual and have already recommended it to several friends.
The material is pretty remedial. I think any parent conscious enough to read a parenting book probably already knows not to call their child names or hit them. Offering two acceptable choices and using logical consequences is pretty basic stuff that we use on a regular basis. I didn't gain much new insight but it was a good review of the basics. Currently my little researchers are almost 3 and almost 1 - I'm sure rereading this book in a couple of years, when things really start to get exciting, will be beneficial.
I am already half way through listening to this book a second time! It is packed full of information and I am only beginning to put Roberts advice into action! I am so thankful for this book!
Alan is a great narrator and helped bring the book to life!
I often find myself becoming angry with my children and losing my temper! I have found that by keeping cool and just setting boundaries as Author Robert MacKenzie advises, my children are able to make good choices or live with the consequences of their bad choice! No reason for me to become angry! (I am still working on this!)
An outstanding book for all parents, not just parents of strong willed children, since all children need to have boundaries! I have recommended this book to many of my friends and will continue to tell people about this book and its great advise! Thank you Robert MacKenzie! God Bless you!
Simple techniques add a consequence to any request basically but I wasn't doing it and just talking like based on the how to talk book was not working. This works
parents must learn to give them selfves time, then they could be great parents for their children
last chapter give value to yourself
the father and the balloon story
This is an excellent book that details a worldview about how to raise strong-willed children, along with simple, effective and respectful techniques that can be put into practice immediately.
I've been implementing the techniques for the past week, and I can already (tentatively) attest to their effectiveness. I highly recommend this book to anyone who feels like they're doing the best they can with their kids, but getting nowhere in terms of cooperation, discipline and respect.
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