A six-session training course for transforming your relationship with yourself.
Why does it feel so natural to be compassionate and kind to those we care about - yet so hard to treat ourselves the same way? "Our culture teaches us to use self-criticism for motivation and to build self-esteem by constantly measuring ourselves against everyone else," says Dr. Kristin Neff. "We need to re-learn the essential skill of being genuinely nurturing and supportive toward ourselves." With Self-Compassion Step by Step, this groundbreaking researcher reveals the clinically proven power of self-kindness, with practical training for cultivating an enduring and unshakable sense of your fundamental human worthiness.
Over the past decade, an overwhelming body of research has shown self-compassion to be a master key to good psychological and physical health. Whether you wish to reduce stress, develop healthy habits for exercise or diet, unlock your creativity, or even deal with serious conditions such as depression or addiction, a strong sense of self-compassion is an essential ingredient for success. Best of all, self-compassion is a skill that can be learned. Through six sessions of teaching, Dr. Neff offers guided meditations, experiential practices, and on-the-spot techniques to help you build a strong foundation of self-compassion in your daily life.
"We often become our own worst critic because we believe it's necessary to keep ourselves motivated," says Dr. Neff, "but in fact the research shows that healthy self-compassion increases our inner drive, our resilience to setbacks, and our ability to excel at work and in every aspect of life."
With Self-Compassion Step by Step, she presents a powerful training course that is both accessible and profoundly transformative - a practical approach for creating a life of greater happiness, fulfillment, and love.
©2013 Kristin Neff (P)2013 Kristin Neff
Susanna Di Milo
Once again it would be better if this was divided up into chapters, (surely this is easy to do?) I think this has ruined yet another potential book for me and I am beginning to lose heart in purchasing from audible because of it. (If I buy on CD for example it is laid out in chapters).
At the heart of this book is a great message, the reader comes across as really knowing her stuff and she carries it well. I like the meditations, (which is why I chose the audible version rather than the book).
She has a nice soft voice but after a while I found her voice seemed to go up and down in a irritating way.
Please audible give us chapters!
Yes, I would, its a really good book, it has very defined sections with exercises and even a "bell" and the space to make all the self reflections. I only think it takes different times to get through it since its a very personal experience. For me the last part of the book, lets say the last hour and a half, was very difficult to do, I had to redo it many times until I was able to do it. Her soft voice makes it easy as a process. The way all the book is structured is very clever and makes a lot sense. It would make a great addition for a young school class. Also, since its like a "workshop" it would work very well for a book club or a therapy group to do it together. Its just my opinion.
I also think it can get intense if you follow the instructions exactly, so I would recommend not to listen to all of it at the same moment on one sit, but take your time and do it at your own pace.
I like the way she explains the exercises and the compassionate way she talks about different people and their possible situations. This is quality psychology researched work.
This is a book that actually works very good as a type of "therapeutical" tool. Obviously is not the same as going to therapy, but its a really good self help book. I really liked it. I will listen to it again in the future and recommend it to friends. I think you can get a lot from it.
As this is a self reflecting type of book, it actually needs for you to take the time to do the exercises, some of them can be heavy or difficult if you are not already in therapy or looking for a way to heal. So it cannot be taken instead of therapy obviously. But surely is a great book and I think young people could get a lot from it. Is not necessary that you have "issues" to use this book. I think is kinda healthy to review the self compassion as a great tool to feel better and function better in life in general. Just my opinion doe.
I really like that the author reads it. She has a great voice.
I am actually Kurt's wife - he gave me this account as a gift, so it is in his name. Audible is awesome!
Not speak as if she was taking to a kindergarten class. And, take a drink of water every now and then. Nothing is worse than listening to someone speak into a mic that has a dry mouth. Ewww.
The repetitive stories of her autistic kid.
I can't buy into the "self-compassion" movement. It does make sense that the self-esteem BS we are immersed in now is ruining our future generations. But I do not think that self-pity is the answer.
Yes, you can feel that you are not alone in your misery, but beyond that, it seems like it is all one big pity party.
And I listened to the book TWICE to try and get SOMETHING from it.
As the song says, "my give a damn's busted...Nope, nothing."
"Transformed the way I see myself and the others."
I read a lot of self-help books and as a result, I've heard many times, we see in others what we have in ourselves. In other words "you've spot it, you've got it", both for positive and negative traits. But if we reverse the statement, we cannot see what's we don't have and we cannot give it to the others either.
I was programmed to achieve success, with no time or place for excuses - "if you want to count on somebody, count on yourself" motto used to lead my life. I always though I am compassionate, whenever watching tragic news on TV or hearing my friend's misfortune news I felt sad.
This book however opened my eyes and made me understand why my relationship with people feel distant and seem to lack affection, as well as why I feel this longing for understanding nobody can give me.
While listening to the book and doing the exercises I allowed myself to cry and it took a couple of weeks. It felt like my whole sadness surfaced and flooded me like a see. I was drowning. When I finally stopped crying, I had a very good look at myself, my life, the way I approached it, the way I coped with it and I realised how lonely I was all this time, holding to the unshared pain. I understood, all these years I was too pre-occupied searching for ways to fill my emotional hole to be truly concerned by the others.
Today, thanks to the book and Kristin's research, I understand myself so much better, and with self understanding came self love and self respect. I stopped running and had a look at what is happening around me and decided to do for the others, what I did for myself - to reach out, listen, cheer up, share, appreciate, respect and love.
I have a feeling that since working with the topic of self-compassion everyone changed around me, but obviously I know better, it was me who changed and the others only mirror my inner world.
The exercises, where for the first time I imagined myself, not as 4-5 years old, but as a new born, who resting on mother's chest, innocent, unaware, unprepared and completely dependant on other's people help, had to learn by trial and error, how to cope with all the demands and expectations the society has towards us and also how to deal with every failure.
I listed to the presentation on you tube. I like the fact the author reads out her own book, it gives it an extra value. Although Kristin's voice could be described as whiny at times.
If you want to deeply fall in love - go and meet your true self.
It is 'a must read' for those who work on the self-development and changing their life patterns.
Have to re-listen... I listened to this audible while taking long walks.. so I couldn't do...the exercises.. but I found her voice to be very soothing...
first step to self compassion... :)
"very thought provoking"
it is helpful, however, some tangents seemed irrelevant. maybe I'm not quite grasping their intent, however the general concept I quite like. definitely worth downloading though
If like me you are interested in the work of Tara Brach, Paul Gilbert and Rick Hanson this is essential listening. Even if you are new to the concept of self-compassion and wish to learn more this is a fantastic introduction. Kristin Neff narrates her own book warmly and compellingly. There are also self-compassion and mindfulness exercises throughout the book which I found to be excellent. Highly recommended.
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