From leading psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff comes a step-by-step guide explaining how to be more self-compassionate and achieve your dreams in life.
The relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion - and a tyrannical one at that. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a ping-pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.
Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. The feelings of security and self-worth provided by self-compassion are also highly stable, kicking in precisely when self-esteem falls down. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.
This groundbreaking work will show you how to let go of debilitating self-criticism and finally learn to be kind to yourself. Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff - the world's foremost expert on self-compassion - explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective. Engaging, highly listenable, and eminently accessible, this book has the power to change your life.
©2011 Kristin Neff, PhD (P)2011 HarperCollinsPublishers
There's some very important information in this book about how the need to be perfect fails us, how recognizing our weaknesses and failures is valuable, and generating self-compassion activates healthy physiological processes (compared to self-judging). However, I wonder if the average reader can pull those ideas out of the writing. I'm a therapist, and I have recommended this book to clients, but I spend some time outlining and preparing clients about the points above.
I've read Neff's research on resilience, and it's informed my therapy practice, as well as my own life. I'll continue to look for her work for sure.
I thought the content of this book was amazing but the narration was so off putting. Listen to the sample to see what I mean. I want my partner to read this book too, but there's no way I could recommend the audiobook.
I found the material to be fascinating and enjoyed Dr Neff's stories woven into the narrative.
I felt the voice of the performer was too smoky. The topics were exciting and game-changing, yet the read felt breathy and motherly. I think it was meant to come across as soothing, but I found it annoying.
I think the book could have been a bit shorter, but am happy that such time and research have gone into this important topic.
I would recommend this book and the suggestions in it.
It would be great to have more grouo activities to do around this topic.
I think this is a good read. The one thing I did not like was the feeling of listening to someone use a book as a vehicle to communicate how they feel. If thats the case, write a book exploring yourself and your narrative seperately.
Being kind ( to oneself as well as others), acknowledging common experience and attending to the present. Wonderful!
I was skeptical about another self-help book, but everything Neff writes about self-criticism and how it can rule our lives without us even being aware of the damage we do to ourselves, makes perfect sense. Some of us just live with the suffering caused by our internal negative dialogue, and it isn't until we become aware of it, that we are able to change. It's not easy, but my change has begun.
The program is great! I read the print book b/c I couldn't stand the reading of this book. The reader uses NO intonation which makes it very dull to listen to. But, the book, and the CD Course are great!
Kristin Neff is really good.
reader use more intonation so it is easier to listen to
loving-kindness and self-compassion and meditation
not a lot
needed a "wow, i did not know that" factor
very pleasing narrative
remined me not to be so critical of myself
I have spent decades trying to force myself to become the person I believed I should be.
The concept of self-compassion is new to me, however it has connected with the root of many ideas that I could previously only dream of living out.
Self-compassion has show me a door through walls that I have spent a lifetime trying to overcome.
Many thanks to Kristin Neff for sharing so precious a gift.
A beautiful book by Kristin Neff. Neff gently reminds us to be considerate and compassionate towards the self and provides examples and illustrations of how to do so. I particularly enjoyed the personal stories and Illustrations of Neff's own suffering and redemption through self compassion. Overall, this was a top notch book!
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