Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

By: Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend

Narrated by: Dick Fredricks

Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins

Publisher's summary

Safe People will help you discover why good people can get tangled in bad relationships, how to avoid repeating your own mistakes, and how to pick safe, healthy people for the friends you make and the company you keep.

Too many of us have invested in relationships that have gone wrong. Maybe you've been judged, manipulated, or controlled. Or maybe you've trusted the wrong people in the past. It's easy to make the same mistakes of judgment over and over - or, worse, to give up on trying to have great, authentic relationships again. But it doesn't have to be that way.

In Safe People, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach you that being with an unsafe person can be damaging to your confidence, your trust in others, and even your health. You'll learn that you have the power to surround yourself with accepting, honest, and safe people who draw you closer to being the person God intended you to be.

Drs. Cloud and Townsend, authors of the New York Times best seller Boundaries, are here to share the lessons they've learned in their years of practicing psychology and studying the patterns and practices that support clear, biblical boundaries. In Safe People, they offer guidance for making safe choices in all of your day-to-day relationships, from family and friends to colleagues and partners.

Safe People will give you the tools you need to recognize what makes people relationally safe, form positive relationships, and even become a safe person along the way. Drs. Cloud and Townsend share expert insights that will help you ask important questions:

• How can I learn to pick better friends?
• Why do I choose people who let me down?
• How did I end up with this critical boss?
• How do I attract irresponsible people?
• Why did I invest money with that unscrupulous person?
• What is it about me that draws the wrong types of people to me?
• Why am I drawn to the wrong types of people?

It's time to revitalize your connections and finally start enjoying the healthy, balanced relationships that you deserve.

©1995 Henry Cloud and John Townsend (P)2009 Zondervan

Real talk

This is a 2 sided mirror which not only helps you see others, but more importantly....see yourself.

Thankful

I’m thankful that this book came out and it is helping me to take steps in the correct direction.

Educational and informative

I found that especially the last few chapters to be helpful… how to improve myself and become a safe person for those around me and also how to communicate better to more approachable and discern who is safe by their responses to my safe words

Such a good book!

Loved it all! Such a good book! I like how they tied religion into it.

for people who often end up in bad relationships

I am not terribly religious or a church goer but I found a lot of value and good advice in this book that helps me see where my patterns are and how I can change those patterns and be a safe person for others and begin attracting safe people to myself.

The narrator is one of the best I've heard since I've been listening to audio books. He really gets into the voice of the different people in the book and I enjoyed his delivery very much.

I was excited and disappointed

I’m not Christian but I thought the book was going to be helpful anyways so I give it a chance. Sadly all the solutions proposed to help you identify and avoid not safe people was pray pray and find help in someone else, I thought the book was going to help me to do it myself since I’m not good at reading characters and that’s why I keep giving chances to unsafe people how am I suppose to find and trust someone else to get through it? Makes no sense. The book will just suggest you to find a support group in a church. That’s it. So if you’re like me, not into church people because I feel I’m in a cult then you’re lost with this book and Worse than before I start reading it because I can see now all the problems and why I attract those unsafe people but I cannot solve it by myself because being self sufficient is NOT safe.

Educational

A good book to help you establish healthy boundaries and become the best version of yourself.

Excellent analysis of Safe and Unsafe People

Nota Bene: this book is written by Christian therapists who look at things (at least in this book) from a Christian point of view. That said, if you are a Christian, you will find this analysis exceedingly useful. If you are not a Christian, I would imagine that you could still find the book useful, although, you might get annoyed by the constant references to God and what God wants for our lives. It depends on your tolerance for that kind of talk, I think.

That said, I (as a Christian) found this book to be SO helpful, I have listened to it at least ten times since I bought it about a month ago. I will listen to a chapter, then listen again and again, taking notes and trying to remember the endless amounts of good advice and analysis provided.

This book is split into parts, with lots of lists (something I loved).

The first part discusses in detail the characteristics of Unsafe People.
The second part analyzes why we befriend Unsafe People.
The third part discusses the characteristics of Safe People, how to become one, and how to befriend them.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has trouble making and keeping friendships with people who make them feel good and happy, and who help them to be the best people they can be. You need this book if most of your friends are dysfunctional people (aren't we all) who persist in their dysfunction, instead of who seek to grow and move out of their harmful ways. Or for those who have simply given up on trying to make new friends because they have been let down so many times, they just don't see the point anymore.

This book is for you.

As for the reader, he does a fantastic job of reading this book, even going to the point of using different voices for other men, women, or children. It's actually quite endearing. He does a great job of capturing the emotion behind the author's words, but without being maudlin. Great job, reader!

Very Good read!

A very good book to help you develop having safe people around you and how to identify those who are not.

A definite must read! Especially for people who desire intimate relationships.

For anyone who desires healthy intimate relationships or is working through relational difficulties this book is a must read. Safe people gives you the tools to thoroughly assess yourself and others in relationships protect yourself from unsafe people and make yourself the best person that you can be in order to attract and maintain healthy relationships with other safe people in your life.