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Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters | [Brian Donovan]

Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters

Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.
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Audible Editor Reviews

Brian Donovan’s comic tale of his history with Internet dating might seem mean-spirited if the criticism weren’t, in large part, self-deprecating. Donovan, who’s written for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and Chapelle’s Show, mines the deep well of comedic gold that is Internet dating by going on an exorbitant amount of dates with all sorts of women - and a few that he couldn’t even be sure were women. Ax Norman delivers Donovan’s chronicles in a personal tone that feels both instructional and confessional. If you’re one of the millions of people who’ve experienced online dating for yourself, or if you’re a curious outsider, prepare yourself for an insider's look at the widely popular phenomenon and all of the insights into human relationships it provokes.

Publisher's Summary

Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.

©2013 Brian Donovan (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.1 (934 )
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  •  
    Mom of 2 MCKINLEYVILLE, CA, United States 03-08-14
    Mom of 2 MCKINLEYVILLE, CA, United States 03-08-14 Member Since 2011

    bibliophile with varied taste ;)

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    "LOL funny (really I did, at work even)"

    This was a pleasant surprise. I got this not knowing really anything about the author, which I don't usually do. It isn't a story,and it isn't a how to (well not exactly), but it is a wonderfully funny account of the world of online dating. The author has a great sense of humor towards himself and the world at large. Excellent, short listen! I have already recommended it to several friends. So far everyone thinks it is hilarious! Perfect to listen to in between those long intense books.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joann Mequon, WI, United States 03-07-14
    Joann Mequon, WI, United States 03-07-14 Member Since 2001
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    "Great Fun - Don't listen outloud or around kids!"

    This is more like a stand up routine than a book. It is very, very explicit so you don't want to listen to it out loud or around kids. The author talks about his online dating experience and had started his own web site to gather other people's experiences. If you like bawdy standup, you will probably enjoy this.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amanda PLANO, TEXAS, United States 03-06-14
    Amanda PLANO, TEXAS, United States 03-06-14 Member Since 2013
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    "LOL Funny!"
    Where does Not a Match rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

    I was pleasantly surprised at how funny this book was. It can be difficult to deliver comedy in written form without being offensive but Brian Donovan does just that. I probably liked it so much because I've been on some of those same types of dates and could identify with him.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Sex crier was probably my favorite story. You'd be surprised how many of my guy friends have had this happen to them.


    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, but I split it into 2 days anyways.


    Any additional comments?

    The ending fell a little short but overall I'd highly recommend it to anyone has ever been on a date. There's something about hearing all those terrible stories that reminds you that your dating life really isn't that bad.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Susan QUEMADO, NM, United States 03-05-14
    Susan QUEMADO, NM, United States 03-05-14 Member Since 2011
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    "No Match here,either"

    I got this book for free and I'm glad it was free. I thought it might be a funny and lighthearted look at modern dating woes. Lots of ammo on that front, I'm sure.
    There were some really funny parts, but this is not a book for anyone but adults definitely from an R to X rating. Also, profanity.
    However, having said I don't particularly like the book the author was great!
    I loved his style, it drew me in and I could read other subjects written by him. Please, branch out from here, I think you've gotten all the mileage you can out of e-dating.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Saud United States 03-05-14
    Saud United States 03-05-14 Member Since 2007

    Learn, understand, then decide whether you accept or reject.

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    "Interesting journey"

    This is a catalog showcasing how horribly bad dating can go, and although I don't usually listen to this kind of stuff I found it hard to put down.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Rachael Ben Lomond, CA, United States 03-03-14
    Rachael Ben Lomond, CA, United States 03-03-14
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    "It was fine."
    Was Not a Match worth the listening time?

    Not a Match was moderately entertaining. It did not make me laugh even once, but it wasn't bad. If your time is valuable, you aren't missing anything if you pass this book up, but if you need something light to listen to while you paint your bedroom it is perfect.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Deanna NEW PALESTINE, IN, United States 03-03-14
    Deanna NEW PALESTINE, IN, United States 03-03-14
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    "Confirmation To Never Join Online Dating Services"
    What did you like best about Not a Match? What did you like least?

    I liked how realistic it was and how it paints the sorry but true story of our technologically-driven yet love-famished culture. The thing that bothered me the most about the story was how the author hands out advice on form letters when they have obviously not worked for him in the past. Sure, he got a lot of dates, but he doesn't have a wife.


    How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?

    Brian discovering the true meaning of love and falling in love with and committing to someone the old-fashioned way (like, in person). He could totally fall in love and be the man of some lady's dreams by being more assertive in person and quitting online dating.


    What about Ax Norman’s performance did you like?

    Ax Norman's voice is very beastly sounding... in a good way.


    Was Not a Match worth the listening time?

    YES! TOTALLY! It saved me hundreds of hours and dollars that I might have wasted on online dating sites.


    Any additional comments?

    I knew online dating wasn't for me. And, after vicariously living through Brian's disastrous quests for "love" through online dating sites, I only received more confirmation to never join online dating services. I know that compatibility can be easily found online, however, the success of a real and genuine love does not depend on compatibility, but rather the ability to sacrificially love.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Miamigrrl Miami, FL United States 02-24-14
    Miamigrrl Miami, FL United States 02-24-14 Member Since 2012
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    "Funny and informative"
    Would you listen to Not a Match again? Why?

    I would listen to this again - both to hear about the author's dates and to refresh myself on his online dating tips.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    I liked the author because he seemed to be aware of his drawbacks but realized that it wasn't those that were causing the strange behavior in some of his dates.


    What does Ax Norman bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    The narrator brought just the right touch of nerdy voice to the story line.


    What did you learn from Not a Match that you would use in your daily life?

    I learned that it's standard practice for people to be less than truthful in their dating profiles.


    Any additional comments?

    I would strongly suggest that anyone considering (or currently engaged in) online dating read or listen to this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Teresa NAMPA, ID, United States 03-14-14
    Teresa NAMPA, ID, United States 03-14-14 Member Since 2011

    Hello, my name is Teresa and I'm an addict.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Just goes to prove even crazy can write."

    This is kinda funny, but a he is delusional. He thinks he is a nice guy, but at the same time proves he is a douche. This seems to be the losers guide to internet dating. Some of his tips are very useful others make you want to run screaming. I did manage to finish this book, thankfully it was short and i have listened to worse.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    S. Facey UK 02-25-14
    S. Facey UK 02-25-14 Member Since 2013
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    "Not worth the free Valentines download"
    What was most disappointing about Brian Donovan’s story?

    I found the story repetitive, boring and cliche-ridden - I actually didn't make it the whole way through the book for the first time in my Audible history, despite a stubborn, must-make-it-to-the-end attitude.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    The narrator seemed to do an alright job with the material he had.


    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
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