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Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters | [Brian Donovan]

Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters

Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.
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Audible Editor Reviews

Brian Donovan’s comic tale of his history with Internet dating might seem mean-spirited if the criticism weren’t, in large part, self-deprecating. Donovan, who’s written for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and Chapelle’s Show, mines the deep well of comedic gold that is Internet dating by going on an exorbitant amount of dates with all sorts of women - and a few that he couldn’t even be sure were women. Ax Norman delivers Donovan’s chronicles in a personal tone that feels both instructional and confessional. If you’re one of the millions of people who’ve experienced online dating for yourself, or if you’re a curious outsider, prepare yourself for an insider's look at the widely popular phenomenon and all of the insights into human relationships it provokes.

Publisher's Summary

Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.

©2013 Brian Donovan (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.1 (912 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Erin - Audible Jersey City, NJ 08-13-13
    Erin - Audible Jersey City, NJ 08-13-13 Member Since 2010

    Nothing I love more than a well-rounded character and intense plot.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Dating in New York is a Horrible Crapshoot."

    I pre-ordered Not a Match because like many twenty-somethings living in the New York metropolitan area, I have tried internet dating. It's the the only way I to meet people and successfully filter out the creeps and crazies 100% of 75% of the time. If the cosmopolitan mating call of dark, expensive cocktail soaked lounges with too-loud music after 9 doesn't appeal to you, and for some reason your best friend's mother won't set you up with a nice Jewish boy... yeah, the internet is where its at. There are a lot of sites, a lot of members, a lot of weirdos, a lot of liars, and somewhere... SOMEWHERE... is your perfect match.

    Just do the math. Literally. Brian Donovan wrote an equation for you (kind of.)

    I've been on a lot of disastrous, semi-disastrous, or dull dates (and will likely go on many more), and I wish they'd been half as entertaining as Brian Donovan. His prose is sardonic, his wit dry, and his writing style entertaining.

    Ax Norman was a great narrator; effusive where necessary, sarcastic in the right spots. He embodied the voice of Donovan's New York-style of storytelling very well. I kept reaching for my coffee thinking it was a cocktail and remembering I was in the office, and not a bar in the village, on a first date, listening to his stories.

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    VT California 02-23-14
    VT California 02-23-14 Member Since 2013

    Bookworm

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    "Sorry, it did not make me laugh even once..."
    What disappointed you about Not a Match?

    Overall, I find the stories quite typical and trite. I did not even chuckle or smile once listening to this book.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. After that, perhaps another Bill Bryson, David Sedaris, or Jon Krakauer book.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Ax Norman?

    I have no complaint about the narrator; it's the materials that I find rather boring. I rarely not finish a book and this one, even for less than three hours, I feel like stopping half way through.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Disappointment, definitely. I was looking for some lighthearted humor while driving but found none.


    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Noelle USA 03-04-14
    Noelle USA 03-04-14 Member Since 2013

    "My test of a good book is dreading to begin the last chapter." - Thomas Helm

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    "FUNNY STUFF-TO MANY CUSS WORDS"

    This book was free so I downloaded it. I started to listen to it on the way to NC w/my husband and teenage boys in the truck. It started off really funny. I was raised not to swear in conversation as it's not lady like. However, when I'm angry I lose this upbringing and at times can spout off some whoppers. My grandmother use to say people who swear in conversation had a poor vocabulary. Point being, the book is funny and had my children not been w/me I'd have finished the book during the trip. I've heard my kids swear and though I've raised them better, I'm not a fool and I falter too. However, I felt it too much, too often and in may places unnecessary through out this book.

    The narrator is great! His voice is perfect for retelling/reading this story.

    The book IS REALLY FUNNY book. If you don't mind swear words or don't have kids nearby while listening you'll do fine.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JoAnn Boston, MA, United States 02-18-14
    JoAnn Boston, MA, United States 02-18-14 Member Since 2013
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    "Hilarious, but let me wanting more!"

    This was a short, hilarious recap of one man's online dating adventures. Having met my future husband on my third of three stints online, I was dying at his depictions of being a man on the site, his hilarious disastrous dates, guidance (how to create the perfect form first email) and the cardinal sins of online dating (overuse of the phrase LOL). His commentary was spot-on and spoken so humorously, I found myself, er... LOL'ing.

    I was devastated when this ended. It's not great literature by any means (if you cannot stomach the f-word or references to women's breast size, DO NOT PROCEED), but it was fun, funny, and offered truthful commentary on one of the most bizarre human experiences of the modern world. I wish it were longer!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Matt_C Santa Barbara, CA 10-27-13
    Matt_C Santa Barbara, CA 10-27-13 Member Since 2012
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    "Hilarious!"
    If you could sum up Not a Match in three words, what would they be?

    I highly recommend for anyone considering online dating. The story about the woman providing advice on where to buy good heroin is priceless.


    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JLJC 04-04-14
    JLJC 04-04-14
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    "Funny true online dating stories-I have been here!"
    What made the experience of listening to Not a Match the most enjoyable?

    Ax Norman did a great job reading Brian Donovan's story. It's hard to read these types of stories, or even Brian's thoughts without bursting into laughter!
    Thanks Brian for sharing your frustrating experiences with the rest of us frustrated online daters!


    Which scene was your favorite?

    My favorite scene was about the girls hair that caught fire!


    What insight do you think you’ll apply from Not a Match?

    Since my boyfriend and I both experienced dating online, we both hope to never have to go back. But if we do, we both know that the crazy stuff doesn't happen to just us!


    Any additional comments?

    For a great laugh, you must read this book!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Don Earth, Milky Way Galaxy 03-24-14
    Don Earth, Milky Way Galaxy 03-24-14 Member Since 2012
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    "For the hopeless and hopeful among us!"

    A hidden little gem that reflects on modern dating in the internet age. His stories are priceless in their honesty and pathos with good points made about how one puts themselves out on display. Having over 100 internet dates is his hook and maybe he doesn't have the gal but lots of good stories and lots of lessons learned!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dianne Oregon, Untied States 03-23-14
    Dianne Oregon, Untied States 03-23-14 Member Since 2012

    A busy Mum and Accountant. Listen to books while driving to work or sunbathing is my guilty pleasure.

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    "Great listen for a long trip"
    What did you love best about Not a Match?

    I read this during a 8 hour car ride and because each chapter was like a shortstory, it didn't matter that I was interrupted many times.The stories were a mixed bag, some made me laugh and others I fast forward.


    If you’ve listened to books by Brian Donovan before, how does this one compare?

    N/A


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    Yes the narriation matched the pace of story.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    The authors advice was rather good, and written in a non-threatening way.If I needed to go onto a dating site, I think I would use some of his tricks.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Itamar Shoham, Israel 03-21-14
    Itamar Shoham, Israel 03-21-14 Member Since 2013
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    "Easy Listening"

    Well while I didn't really learn much from this story it was very funny and brought a smile and laughter in almost every chapter.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Joann Red Wing, MN, United States 03-16-14
    Joann Red Wing, MN, United States 03-16-14 Member Since 2011
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    "F Word"

    The story was humorous but did not need to hear the F word so often. It did not add anything to the story.
    Instead of only one interview where he came out looking good I would have liked a second one where he didn't look good. It would have made for a more well-rounded story.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
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