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Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters | [Brian Donovan]

Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters

Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.
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Audible Editor Reviews

Brian Donovan’s comic tale of his history with Internet dating might seem mean-spirited if the criticism weren’t, in large part, self-deprecating. Donovan, who’s written for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and Chapelle’s Show, mines the deep well of comedic gold that is Internet dating by going on an exorbitant amount of dates with all sorts of women - and a few that he couldn’t even be sure were women. Ax Norman delivers Donovan’s chronicles in a personal tone that feels both instructional and confessional. If you’re one of the millions of people who’ve experienced online dating for yourself, or if you’re a curious outsider, prepare yourself for an insider's look at the widely popular phenomenon and all of the insights into human relationships it provokes.

Publisher's Summary

Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.

©2013 Brian Donovan (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

3.1 (1244 )
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3.4 (1091 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Erin - Audible Jersey City, NJ 08-13-13
    Erin - Audible Jersey City, NJ 08-13-13 Member Since 2010

    Nothing I love more than a well-rounded character and intense plot.

    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Dating in New York is a Horrible Crapshoot."

    I pre-ordered Not a Match because like many twenty-somethings living in the New York metropolitan area, I have tried internet dating. It's the the only way I to meet people and successfully filter out the creeps and crazies 100% of 75% of the time. If the cosmopolitan mating call of dark, expensive cocktail soaked lounges with too-loud music after 9 doesn't appeal to you, and for some reason your best friend's mother won't set you up with a nice Jewish boy... yeah, the internet is where its at. There are a lot of sites, a lot of members, a lot of weirdos, a lot of liars, and somewhere... SOMEWHERE... is your perfect match.

    Just do the math. Literally. Brian Donovan wrote an equation for you (kind of.)

    I've been on a lot of disastrous, semi-disastrous, or dull dates (and will likely go on many more), and I wish they'd been half as entertaining as Brian Donovan. His prose is sardonic, his wit dry, and his writing style entertaining.

    Ax Norman was a great narrator; effusive where necessary, sarcastic in the right spots. He embodied the voice of Donovan's New York-style of storytelling very well. I kept reaching for my coffee thinking it was a cocktail and remembering I was in the office, and not a bar in the village, on a first date, listening to his stories.

    5 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JoAnn Boston, MA, United States 02-18-14
    JoAnn Boston, MA, United States 02-18-14
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    "Hilarious, but let me wanting more!"

    This was a short, hilarious recap of one man's online dating adventures. Having met my future husband on my third of three stints online, I was dying at his depictions of being a man on the site, his hilarious disastrous dates, guidance (how to create the perfect form first email) and the cardinal sins of online dating (overuse of the phrase LOL). His commentary was spot-on and spoken so humorously, I found myself, er... LOL'ing.

    I was devastated when this ended. It's not great literature by any means (if you cannot stomach the f-word or references to women's breast size, DO NOT PROCEED), but it was fun, funny, and offered truthful commentary on one of the most bizarre human experiences of the modern world. I wish it were longer!

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    VT California 02-23-14
    VT California 02-23-14 Member Since 2013

    Bookworm

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    "Sorry, it did not make me laugh even once..."
    What disappointed you about Not a Match?

    Overall, I find the stories quite typical and trite. I did not even chuckle or smile once listening to this book.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. After that, perhaps another Bill Bryson, David Sedaris, or Jon Krakauer book.


    Who would you have cast as narrator instead of Ax Norman?

    I have no complaint about the narrator; it's the materials that I find rather boring. I rarely not finish a book and this one, even for less than three hours, I feel like stopping half way through.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Disappointment, definitely. I was looking for some lighthearted humor while driving but found none.


    4 of 5 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Janelle Carter hannie2 06-11-14
    Janelle Carter hannie2 06-11-14 Member Since 2014
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    "Not funny...just disgusting."
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    What could have helped? Leave out the F words. Not necessary to make something funny with F words. True skill is to make it funny without swear words. Plus, "having sex with a dead person" as a cute and funny come-on line to a potential date? Give me a break. Not funny.


    Has Not a Match turned you off from other books in this genre?

    Yes. If any other books are anything like this, it is a waste of time.


    What do you think the narrator could have done better?

    Narration was o.k. Just the material was bad, and no narration could make it better.


    What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

    Disappointment in comedians who think that this kind of garbage would be funny or enjoyable.


    Any additional comments?

    Gross. Disgusting. Hard to listen to. Couldn't finish it after the dead person sex.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JLJC 04-04-14
    JLJC 04-04-14
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    "Funny true online dating stories-I have been here!"
    What made the experience of listening to Not a Match the most enjoyable?

    Ax Norman did a great job reading Brian Donovan's story. It's hard to read these types of stories, or even Brian's thoughts without bursting into laughter!
    Thanks Brian for sharing your frustrating experiences with the rest of us frustrated online daters!


    Which scene was your favorite?

    My favorite scene was about the girls hair that caught fire!


    What insight do you think you’ll apply from Not a Match?

    Since my boyfriend and I both experienced dating online, we both hope to never have to go back. But if we do, we both know that the crazy stuff doesn't happen to just us!


    Any additional comments?

    For a great laugh, you must read this book!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Don 03-24-14
    Don 03-24-14
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    "For the hopeless and hopeful among us!"

    A hidden little gem that reflects on modern dating in the internet age. His stories are priceless in their honesty and pathos with good points made about how one puts themselves out on display. Having over 100 internet dates is his hook and maybe he doesn't have the gal but lots of good stories and lots of lessons learned!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dianne 03-23-14
    Dianne 03-23-14 Listener Since 2010

    A busy Mum and Accountant. Listen to books while driving to work or sunbathing is my guilty pleasure.

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    "Great listen for a long trip"
    What did you love best about Not a Match?

    I read this during a 8 hour car ride and because each chapter was like a shortstory, it didn't matter that I was interrupted many times.The stories were a mixed bag, some made me laugh and others I fast forward.


    If you’ve listened to books by Brian Donovan before, how does this one compare?

    N/A


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    Yes the narriation matched the pace of story.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    The authors advice was rather good, and written in a non-threatening way.If I needed to go onto a dating site, I think I would use some of his tricks.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Itamar 03-21-14
    Itamar 03-21-14
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    "Easy Listening"

    Well while I didn't really learn much from this story it was very funny and brought a smile and laughter in almost every chapter.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    bibliophile with varied taste MCKINLEYVILLE, CA, United States 03-08-14
    bibliophile with varied taste MCKINLEYVILLE, CA, United States 03-08-14 Member Since 2011

    bibliophile with varied taste ;)

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    "LOL funny (really I did, at work even)"

    This was a pleasant surprise. I got this not knowing really anything about the author, which I don't usually do. It isn't a story,and it isn't a how to (well not exactly), but it is a wonderfully funny account of the world of online dating. The author has a great sense of humor towards himself and the world at large. Excellent, short listen! I have already recommended it to several friends. So far everyone thinks it is hilarious! Perfect to listen to in between those long intense books.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JoAnn Marcon 03-07-14 Member Since 2001
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    "Great Fun - Don't listen outloud or around kids!"

    This is more like a stand up routine than a book. It is very, very explicit so you don't want to listen to it out loud or around kids. The author talks about his online dating experience and had started his own web site to gather other people's experiences. If you like bawdy standup, you will probably enjoy this.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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